Shawn
(2 weeks into the tour)
I sobbed loudly into a towel in the dressing room alone as I listened to the roar of the crowd calling Janet's name. People were knocking at the door and rushing me but I couldn't pull myself together. The door flew open and Gil walked in.
"Shawn, look at you." He said dabbing my eyes trying to make the make up look somewhat decent. "We have to go."
"I just need a second." I said sniffling through my words.
"Babe we don't have a second, we need to go now." He said and grabbed me by the hand as we ran towards the stage.
Gil and I were noticeably late to our marks, late enough for even the crowd to see. I knew we were in trouble. Janet didn't make eye contact not once while we're on that stage, but she never seem to anymore anyway.
Our friendship was no longer existed. We didn't talk unless it was about business and even that was becoming difficult at times. She was the boss and I didn't argue.
I was surrounded by so many people every single day but felt more alone now than I had in a very long time. Anyone who has ever been in her circle knows that there is nothing more lonely than now being on the outside of that very circle.
I love the work I do but it was becoming a task. I found myself not wanting to get up and go do the one thing I loved more than... her. My love had become tainted and no matter how hard I tried to make myself not want her, not a day passed that I didn't wish she was still mine.
But that wasn't enough to change my stubborn mind. She hurt me. Toyed with my emotions and when she was done living her life, she just expected me to be there when she was ready. So my mind was made.
The show had come to an end and we all left the stage. It was the first time, I'd been surrounding by that much energy and felt absolutely nothing. My fellow dancers were laughing and singing all around me and I seemed to miss it all.
There dressing room door flew open and Janet walked in. The room fell silent.
"Everyone out." She said calmly. "Except you two." She said pointing to Gil and myself.
Everyone wasted no time doing as told and as the last person crossed the threshold, she closed the three of us inside. I braced myself.
"Dunk let me explain." Gil began.
"Explain Gil?" She interrupted. "We have been busting our asses for months getting ready for this tour. There is no excuse why you weren't on your mark when that music began!" She said raising her voice just a little. "Stay ready..."
"So you don't have to get ready." He finished. Tears were filling his eyes quickly.
"I expect better from you. You are to never let anything," she said as she glanced at me, "Or anyone distract you ever again." She said, Gil nodded. She touched his face and kissed his cheek as tears fell. She walked him to the door. "I need to speak with Shawn alone." She said and he joined the others outside of the room.
Janet and I were alone for the first time in months. I could barely look at her. She was clearly mad and she should be.
"What happened out there tonight Shawnette?" She asked.
"I'm just having a rough night and if Gil wouldn't have come to check on me he wouldn't have been late to the stagehands ." I said with tears filling my eyes all over again. "I promise that it won't happen again." I assured her. Janet just looked at her. Her had become softer than they were before.
"Shawn maybe I put too much on your plate with this tour." She said. "I have to ask you to take a step back and were going to let Gil, run things until you can get your focus back where it needs to be."
