Forever Is Our Today [A Ben Burnley Fanfic]

Chapter 5 - Broken Inside

A/N: Hello! I've had a block for a little bit but I'm back now! Thanks JulzLuvsYew for being a good friend to me! Enjoy! -Erin

Chapter 5 - Broken Inside

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Ben's POV:

Is this life I'm living ever going end? I want it to end quickly and painless, and when I die I don't want to feel anything. These are my dark thoughts but the thoughts weren't reality they were only little things that nagged to happen. As I stared blankly at Rhiannon's engagement ring laying on the pillow beside me, I only want to be with her. There's something that holds me back from ending everything I ever knew, but my mind is too scattered to think properly about what that thing might be.

I hear a faint voice that calls for me but I don't turn my attention away from the silver ring, I scream in my head at the voice to go away but it doesn't form into words. I feel someone's presence above me, but again, I can't tear my fixed gaze away from Rhiannon's ring, her ring. The one that I was going give her on our anniversary. Now, she was gone and she left me alone to go insane while I slowly faded away into the darkness that I call hopelessness. The voice calls to me again and I finally rip my eyes away from the ring and look for the source of the annoying voice in my head.

The annoying voice, turns out to really be Ainsley, trying to save me from the dark pools of my head. She holds out something in her hands but I don't take it so she forces it in my hands. I look down at the unknown thing in my hand and I throw it on the floor in disgust. She was trying to make me feel better by giving me medicine that would possibly put me to sleep, I don't want sleep, I just want her back. Several words form in my head but I don't have the energy to say them aloud. I feel a sudden headache and my stomach feels queasy as I slowly sit upright. I don't register the sharp pain in my stomach until I lay back down in my bed and stare at Ainsley. She softly sighs and begins to walk out of my room.

Don't go! Save me from the dark! Don't let it take me over! I scream at her in my head, but my mouth only makes a soft groaning sound. As soon as the darkness began to take me over once again, Ainsley came back into my room with a plate of food. My stomach instantly started to churn at the sight of food. So that was the pain in my stomach, what did people use to call it? Hunger. That what it was, I was hungry for food but my stomach said otherwise. I sat up in my bed and looked blankly at her as she sat the plate down on my lap and went to the other side of the bed. She picked up Rhiannon's ring and put it on the table that was beside Rhi's side of the bed, and sat down. She picked up the fork and brought it up to my mouth but I didn't move.

"You haven't eaten in two days, you need to eat." She said, still holding the fork up to my face. I shook my head but the headache made me stop and I pushed her hand away. I stare down at the food in my lap, my stomach growling at the sight, but I had no appetite for eating something that would come right back up later. "Please eat, I'm worried about you." I wanted to laugh at her begging but again, I had no energy to do anything. Pushing aside the nausea that was quickly building, I took the fork from Ainsley and slowly started eating. I saw from my side vision that a smile had formed on her face. The smile was an insult to my depression and I wanted to target all of my emotions on her but I bit my tounge to stop myself from saying anything.