All of the Stars

Part 4: Shock

Training with Kylo Ren was not as you imagined it would be.

Every morning you would wake up to walk to the training rooms and work on your Force powers, and in the evening you worked on your physical abilities.

These training sessions were always much more interesting than the morning ones. Usually it was endurance, however, sometimes Kylo would also train with you, while it was obvious he could work much harder he always kept pace with you until a sheen of sweat covered your face while he was only slightly flushed.

His smiles were still rare, but you found that he rarely wore his helmet around you anymore.

This particular training Kylo had tied his hair back loosely, you and he were practising with metal staffs made to replicate the feelings of fighting with a lightsaber, while you were not yet allowed to use one, your hands were itching to practice with the long shafts of metal.

"Chin up, Y/N." Kylo commands, you snap your head up, realising you had once again been watching your feet.

"Yes, Commander." You look straight into his eyes, searching for hidden messages as to what his next move would be without using the Force, as he had taught you.

"Again." He orders.

You start once again using the routine that Kylo had taught you, a series of jabs and blocks, jumping forwards and backwards, and always on high alert.

What you didn't see when you were looking into his eyes is his foot sweeping around and taking your legs from under you as Kylo continues to spin, you land heavily on your back, unable to take your hands from your staff to break your fall.

What you don't expect to hear as you sit up and get on your knees, shaking your head in annoyance, is a deep laugh.

At first, you stare at Kylo in confusion, causing him to laugh even harder, his eyes crinkling and dimple showing, you continue to stare at him, his face lit up with laughter as he comes to crouch in front of you.

"Oh my Hoth Y/N, what was that?" He brings his fingers to his lips, taking your attention to them with him. "Your face!" He dissolves even further into this throaty laugh looking off over your shoulder as he remembers the serious way in which you stared at him.

"This is something we must practise. You are absolutely awful, worst I've ever seen I would say. Didn't I say to always be alert?" He stands shaking his head, chuckling as he does so.

You continue to sit and stare in confusion, while you want to be angry at the way Kylo is laughing at you for failing, the shock over his laugh, his smile, his... happiness, is too much.

"What on Endor are you talking about Kylo?" You finally say a smile spreading across your face before you realise your mistake.

However, it seems that Kylo doesn't even seem to mind, his grin is still apparent as he sets himself up again and raises his eyebrows at you to stand also.

"What on Endor are you talking about?" He teases back. "A child could read signs better than you, stop staring at my eyes and stare at my body, my muscles, everything." He nods at you again to stand.

"Attack me." He says confidently.

You raise an eyebrow standing, Kylo still seems serious. You try to ignore his command to stare at his body, it seemed a strange thing to say out of context, but in the training rooms, anything was acceptable.

Well almost... you felt a blush rise nonetheless.

With nothing to lose, apart from my life, you think, you give it a go.

Running at Kylo to pretend to sweep up for a kick but twist your staff and attempt a hard blow to the face.

Kylo swats your foot away and holds up his hand, catching your staff in his fist and yanking it from your grip, before stepping backwards spinning both staffs in his hands before aiming both of them at your throat.

"Read the signs, Y/N." He drops both the staffs on the ground and then straightens up, the playfulness you had just seen in him disappears and his face hardens, impassive again.

You are sad to see it go, as well as confused.

In that moment just before, Kylo Ren had seemed human not a killer or a child with too much power... perhaps even a friend.

A friend. You forget the last time you had one. Perhaps when you were a child and free. But now you are alone.

Kylo clears his throat.

"Training is finished." His voice is stony, he picks up his mask and as he walks from the room towards his chambers to change, he is as distant as the day you first trained with him.

Once again, Commander Ren.

Kylo Ren was marching once again through the corridors, troopers stopped to salute him, General Hux stood to the side but stared at him with the hate clear in his eyes and set of his mouth.

Kylo didn't care.

He had to change, back into his dark clothing and back into the darkness of Commander Ren. He had to, above all, stop whatever it was becoming between himself and the girl.

Y/N was a beautiful name that fit. Y/N's personality. Gentle, warm, beautiful.

Kylo shook his head as he walked, feeling his face twitch in anger. This girl. This stupid girl was the reason Supreme Leader Snoke was having doubts about him.

Although, Kylo knew that that wasn't only it. The scavenger girl was part of it, his weakness another. He had to get himself under control.

Control... Kylo turned, a trooper was marching past at that moment and Kylo smiled under his mask, using his force he slowly stopped the blood from pumping through his heart, freezing the rhythm altogether, before, at the last moment, he yanked at the force and the stormtrooper flew backwards, hitting the wall and landing with his head at an odd position.

Better, thought Kylo.

Better.

You stay in the training room after Kylo had left, wallowing in sadness and confusion about what had just occurred.

You were about to stand up and leave to your quarters when you freeze, a sudden burst of rage had bloomed in your chest, it bleeds until you felt it in your fingers, your legs, your mind.

You felt the rage take you over and when you opened your eyes, feeling only as if you had blinked, and yet when you look around you found yourself in a hallway, alone.

"Almost"

An unfamiliar voice in your mind whispers urging you turn, fear paralyse your mind but allowing, forcing, you to move.

Confirming what you felt you knew inside you, a life force in this ship had just disappeared.

"Two."

The voice spoke again and you opened your eyes, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding until you gasped again.

Against a wall was the body of a cleaner, one you knew.

Katrina.

Her neck was broken, blood was flowing from her hairline and her leg sat at an odd angle. You knew without a doubt that you had been the one to kill, to murder, her. Her eyes were wide open and staring at nothing.

"You were right, Kylo." Supreme Leader Snoke whispered. "The girl is easy to control." Snoke slowly had a smile inching across his face. "That wasn't all me though, she has some darkness in her. More than I thought." Snoke laughs an awful, bone-chilling sound.

Kylo stays standing in front of Snoke, feeling his blood turn to ice.

She has some darkness in her. More than I thought.