All of the Stars

Part 6: Beholden

         

"Commander..." You try again to wake up Kylo, he is sitting in the chair sleeping, the front of his body leaning onto the bed with his head on his crossed forearms. His hair is spilling over his face which is turned to the side.

"Kylo!" You try with his name this time, louder, however, he doesn't stir.

You try one last ditch attempt, you hesitantly take your hand and place it on his shoulder, unable to resist feeling how hard his muscles are.

You realise that you have your hand resting on his shoulder without moving and snap out of your thoughts. Grabbing his upper arm and shaking you try again.

"Wake up, Kylo!" You whisper-shout his name this time.

Kylo jerks up, his hair falls over his face and brushes his nose and his eyes are squinting at you. You giggle at the confused way he's staring before you sober up.

"Kylo, where am I? What happened?" Kylo sits up further, brushing his fingers through his hair quickly and clearing his throat.

"Y/N." He states and then looking confused about how to continue. "You are in my bed, you... well you..." He stops, he doesn't know how much you remember, but your face begins to crumble. It is clear you remember.

Kylo reaches forwards and grabs your hand, while he knows you won't remember killing Katrina, the memory of the aftermath will remain.

"Kylo," your voice breaks.

Kylo crawls up onto the bed and sits behind you, his legs either side of your body and his chest against your back, he reaches around and wraps his arms around your chest and you fall back into him.

The tears can't come anymore but the two of you sit in silence for what seems like hours. Kylo strokes your hair and you stay with his heart beating against your back.

"I can't do this." You finally whisper. Realising it's true, the darkness was too much, it was taking over. You could feel it every second, seeping into your bloodstream and settling deeper and deeper inside you.

And you didn't know if it was a good thing or not.

Darkness is all you had been around that you could remember. You had seen horrors but had been taught they were right.

It was the resistance that was fighting for the wrong motive, wasn't it?

"Y/N..." Kylo whispers to you, turning you so you are facing him, his arms still around you.

"Y/N, it wasn't you." He says and you look at him in confusion. "Snoke. He's testing you, if you back out now he will kill you." Kylo left out that he would be the one forced to kill you, he knew he couldn't do this.

"Please Y/N, please, this won't happen again, you were under his control but I can train you. I can stop him from getting into your mind... I can protect you." He says, his eyes flit between your eyes as he searches for your answer and you stare back.

You had never realised how beautiful his eyes were, while you had always found your own eyes unremarkable, nothing like the galaxies you could see within other's eyes, but his brown eyes were different.

They changed between honey and green and darkness, they had their own sunsets and light in them, they had twilight deep within them and stars scattered all the way through his irises.

Your heart broke, thinking about leaving.

You had to fight for whatever this was.

You were confused, he was so tender at this moment, you had thought you had hated him. You had when you had met him. But his eyes drew you in, and you couldn't get out.

"Okay." You are almost unsure if Kylo could hear you, your voice was so quiet.

Kylo heard however, he pulled you back in, into his chest, his heartbeat was comforting in your ears. He places his chin on your head and let out a deep breath.

"Thank you, Y/N." He whispered back, although you felt like you didn't deserve the thanks, Kylo was going to save you, protect you. And you knew it was true.

"Where are we going, commander?" You ask Kylo, you struggle to keep up with his long strides as he leads you down a corridor adjacent to his.

"Call me Kylo, please." He turned and stopped in front of you as he said this, his voice low so that passing troopers wouldn't hear.

"Okay, Kylo." You look into his eyes for confirmation it was okay.

"I'm taking you to your new room." He says and turns, nodding.

"Wait, my new room, Kylo?" You question, confused at his words, but he was already far ahead of you and you ran a few steps to catch up.

"You can't stay in the dorms, you are no longer a cleaner, you are my student." He smiles back at you, his smile was beautiful.

Filled with hopefulness that you would be happy.

He stops at a door. It was like any other door along the hallway, although it was the first, closest to Kylo's possible, you knew that no other people stayed in the rooms near him, that meant you and him had this part of the ship to yourselves.

Across the hall was a training room, you knew it was a private one from the map you had memorised when you started to work here.

"Open it," Kylo stands behind you, talking over your shoulder while gazing at your side profile.

You swallow, your throat suddenly dry with worry and anticipation.

You walk over to the lock and wave your hand over it, surprised when it opens. Looking back at Kylo you move forwards into the room.

The room for you only is bigger than your whole dorm was when you were working with the cleaners, in the centre of the room is a large bed against a half wall that has a large control screen behind it.

Walking over to it you place your hand on a random control, looking in wonder as it changes the light in the room.

Another control broadcasts a picture of a planet on the wall by the door. You turn towards Kylo, wishing to show him how grateful you are for this gift.

But as you turn you realise something that makes you gasp.

Kylo had moved to the control board and pressed a button you hadn't noticed. Opposite the bed was a bench covered in a grey padded fabric. The button Kylo pressed caused the metal wall by the bench to lift, disappearing into the roof.

Outside the window you realised that the ship was in orbit around a planet, it was majority red with huge bodies of blue water breaking up the islands.

You could see braided rivers and lakes, even from how high up you were and it was beautiful.

You hear Kylo's footsteps approach behind you as you stare outside at the planet, your fingertips up against the huge window. Kylo stays a few steps behind you as you take it all in. Before speaking.

"Do you like it?" Kylo asks, his voice sounds genuinely worried that you wouldn't.

You turn towards him, completely confused as to how he could imagine you were not in love with what he had given you, deciding against words you turn and step forwards as he does the same, but catching him off guard you run into his arms.

He freezes at first as if forgetting how tender he had been before, your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck, standing on your tip toes to reach his shoulders.

He slowly raises his arms from his sides to surround your waist and pull you to him even more tightly, gently resting his cheek on your head.

You grin, kindness is not what you had thought of when you had met Kylo a few months ago. A lot had changed, your grin lowered as you clung to Kylo, thinking about the sudden differences in what had been a mundane life.

Kylo felt a warmth in him as he clutched you tightly, bathed in the beauty of the planet.

He felt a seed of Light blossom in him, and take hold in his heart, and he knew that you were the one who had planted that seed.

He felt your mind that there was a seed of Darkness in your heart also, but he knew that he could help, he would protect you from it, he would give you the Light.