Maybe You

XXII

PHA'S POINT OF VIEW

I STIFFENED when I felt her hands on my body. Kasalukuyan akong nag-aayos ng mga damit ko sa maleta nang pumasok si Pring at niyakap ako. Mabilis ko namang tinanggal ang kamay nya mula sa pagkakayakap sa'kin at hinarap sya.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just checking on my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?"

"Yes. I'm pretty sure sinabi na sa'yo ng daddy mo na matutuloy ang kasal natin pretty soon, right? At kaya tayo mag-aaral sa New York ay para i-work out ang relationship natin. Therefore, it's safe to say na boyfriend na ulit kita."

Her smug smile irritates me. I can't believe that the girl I used to love became an irritating and scheming monster. Masyado ko ba syang minahal that's why I failed to notice this side of her? O baka she was already like this even before and I was too blinded by my love for her kaya hindi ko napansin?

"Nagpapatawa ka ba? Do you really think gugustuhin ko pang makipagbalikan sa'yo after everything?"

"Pha..." She attempted to touch me pero mabilis kong inalis ang kamay nya. "So, ayaw mong hawakan kita? Lalaki na lang ba talaga ang pwedeng humawak sa'yo, ha?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"Mas pipiliin mo ba talaga ang baklang 'yon kesa sa'kin?"

"Don't insult him. Mas maayos ang pagkatao nya kesa sa'yo!" Hindi ko napigilan ang galit ko because of the way he insulted Yo.

"Don't you dare compare me with him! Magkaibang-magkaiba kami."

"Right. You're totally different from each other. Kasi si Yo, hindi nya gagawin ang mga ginagawa mo ngayon. Nirerespeto nya ang nararamdaman ko at kahit kailan, he never forced me to love him back. Kaya, tama ka, magkaibang-magkaiba nga kayo. It's an insult on his part to be compared with you."

Isang malakas na sampal ang ibinigay ni Pring sa'kin. Pumikit ako at nagbilang sa isip ko para pakalmahin ang sarili ko.  I reminded myself that she's a girl over and over again. Babae sya and I can't hurt her physically. But it doesn't mean na hindi ko sya sasaktan emotionally. Gusto kong iparamdam sa kanya ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Pa'no mo ako nagagawang saktan ngayon, Pha? 'Di ba mahal na mahal mo ako noon?"

"Noon 'yon, Pring. Noon bago mo ako ginago at pinagmukhang tanga."

"When are you going to stop using my mistakes against me?"

"Hangga't hindi ka tumitigil sa kahibangan mo. Hangga't hindi mo natatanggap na wala ng tayo at hindi na natin maibabalik pa ang dati."

"Pinagsisihan ko naman ang mga pagkakamali ko, ah. I've realized I was so stupid for letting you slip away. I know your worth now more than before. Mas vina-value na kita ngayon. Pha, I love you more than before."

"You're too late."

"Dahil may Yo ka na sa buhay mo? Pero kamakailan mo lang naman sya minahal, ah. You can't be so in love with him in a short period of time."

"Don't judge my love for him kasi wala kang alam."

"Pero minsan mo akong minahal. Ng sobra-sobra. I'm sure you can love me back if you'd just try."