Baby Look What You've Done To Me!

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Harry's P.O.V-

It's been a week since Lou's party and the incident. Everyday I see her at school, she doesn't even look at me anymore. Everytime we cross paths and she turns away without even acknowledging my presence, it breaks my heart to pieces. The guilt is eating me alive. I should've stood for her that day. I should've defended her cause. Her cause was valid obviously. I shouldn't have let Eleanor spike her drink. I wish that night never happened and things could've been so different. I no longer knew what I was doing because all I cared about was the way she was avoiding me, the way she was increasing the distance between us, the way my heart was breaking. Every night I'd think about that night, her warm body pressed against mine, her sweet breath against my cheeks, and how I had wished that moment to last forever. I haven't slept this whole week and I spent my nights staring at her window, thinking about her. It was all my fault.

I took her to that goddamned party. I requested her to come. So I'm the one responsible. I am so done trying to live this hell of a life. I never told anyone what has been happening with me at school because I thought I could handle it on my own. I thought I kind of deserved it. To outsiders I was the jock of the school, the guy all the girls drooled over, the guy with the most perfect highschool life imaginable. People have told me that they'd love to be me for a day but I just smiled to myself knowing that if they knew half of the things I go through they would never want to be anywhere near me. If they knew how much of a mess I am. I had bullies too because some people knew that this tough guy I pretended to be was all just an act. They'd call me names, names like manwhore. They'd corner me up and tell me how much of a piece of shit I was. I'd receive crampled pieces of paper in my backpack almost everyday, each of them telling me how much my death would be appreciated, how much they'd love to live in a world without me. And these got to me. They did. Maybe I do deserve this. And today even my mum told me that she needed a 'break' from me. I get it. I just hate myself so much at this point. I have been cutting all this time but no one ever knew. Because I don't need more people to hate on me for self harming. But today's the limit. This is it. I am a terrible person after all.

I know I broke her heart. But now I wanted to make it up to Amelia and everyone else, I wanted to grant their wish. She didn't wanna see my face anymore right? She wanted me to stay away from her right? Okay then, I'll do it. I'll make sure that no one ever has to see my dirty face again.

I was done thinking.

I closed my eyes and brought the blade down on the soft skin of my wrist for the very first time. Pain surged through my body as the blade slit the skin. Tears blurred my vision and I felt blood trickling down. But I didn't stop. I'm a horrible person. Even my mum said so today. I deserve this.

I made more cuts. And then more. I could see blood everywhere and then slowly my eyelids started growing heavier. "I love you Amelia. I always will" I whispered before darkness consumed me.

Amelia's P.O.V-

As I walked out of my room and ran down the stairs for breakfast I heard my parents talking in the kitchen. I walked towards the kitchen and just then I heard something that made my heart skip a beat. His name. Why are they talking about Harry?! I haven't been talking to him since that horrible day and I have even told him that I hate him. But do I really hate him? I should....but...okay leave it. I just can't stand him anymore. Anyways I walked in and sat at the table where my bowl of cereals awaited me.

"'Morning mum, dad", I greeted white lifting the spoon towards my mouth.

"Good morning sweetheart, hey was Harry ,from next door, your friend?", Mum asked taking me by surprise. Like why in the world would you ask that?

"Um, not really, we just hung out for a little while." I told her.

"Oh, well its really sad what happened to him, he seemed like a nice boy",mum said sighing.

"Why what happened to him?", I asked confused and scared, my heart racing.

"Why, didn't you hear the ambulances?", dad asked looking surprised.

"What ambulances? No I didn't hear anything! What's going on? What happened to him?", at this point I was desperate.

"He slit his wrists and lost a lot of blood. I heard that he's serious.", Mum said looking worried.

And that was it, I couldn't speak, my brain couldn't process what I had just heard.

No this can't be true. Why Harry?

AUTHOR'S NOTE- SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE AND I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER ISN'T GOOD! ITS JUST THAT A LOT IS GOING ON BUT I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

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