my girl | brendon urie

2

"oh yeah me and sarah are adopting you" brendon smiled, releasing me from his grip. this couldn't be real. me? adopted? i was never chosen. no one likes me! or finds me interesting. i was still processing what was going on as i didn't notice that ashley was flying at me. i quickly moved and she fell. "oops. i slipped" i said dryly. angie had gotten everyone else away. brendon bursted out laughing. "man, i love you already"

brendon and sarah went to sign the papers while i packed. i said bye to everyone and then i was all set. angie hugged me and wished me luck. then i was time. i was so nervous. brendon put my bag in the car and then we went.

brendon put some music on and played fall out boy. i didn't sing along. i stared out the window, wondering if this was a dream or not. i have a lot of depersonalisation moments so this wasn't new. the journey was short and we made it there in about five minuets.

"it's exactly how it looks on on youtube rock sound" i mumbled to myself as we stepped out of the car. "yeah because it is" brendon said as he took my bag out from the back of the car. they unlocked the door and then penny lane and bogart bolted to the door barking. "aw they're adorable! can i pet them?" i asked, kneeling down to their height. "they're technically your dogs too now" sarah says, as she tickled bogarts tummy. i played with penny lane for a bit and then i set her down and let her run free.

i closed the door behind me and looked around. the house was beautiful. i was astonished by the frank sinatra painting. it was beautiful. i was a sinatra fan myself but clearly not as much as brendon. the wine bar, the living room where he makes his vines, the outdoor pool. it was so cool.

"here i'll take you up to your room" brendon gave the dogs a kiss each and we headed upstairs. we walked down the hall and he opened the first door. "sooo...what do you think?" i giggled as soon as he said that. "what?" he smiled. "i-i'll tell you later" i replied, walking inside. there was a bed, a bedside table, a wardrobe, chest of drawers, a pretty odd tapestry, a small white rug, a tv, bean bags in a corner, a mini fridge and holy crap a fucking ukulele in the corner.

"you got me a uke!?" i exclaim. "it'd be cool for you to learn something ya know?" he says, putting my bag down. "your so awesome" i grinned, playing a note on the small instrument. "so are you. you unpack and we can eat lunch in a bit" he ruffled my hair and exited.

i slowly unpacked all my things and put them all away. i headed downstairs and saw sarah was making something whilst brendon was heading outside, i'm guessing to the studio. "i'm bored let me help" i go to sarah. "aw your sweet! okay then! just wash your hands and then help me cut some vegetables"

so i did. i usually helped out in the kitchen in my other home. the knife was kinda weirding me out right now as...my scars. but i did anyway. after about ten minuets i was finish. "what are ya making?" i asked her. "something" she says, giggling. "uhh lady why can't i know?" i joked. "because it's a surprise" she says.

"what do i call you guys?" i asked. "what do you mean?" she asks, adding the vegetables in. "like mom and dad or your name's" i asked. "call us by our names" she shrugged. "and you can call brendon Beebo if you want" she smiled. i collapsed laughing at that.

"man this is good babe!" brendon said as we ate her amazing casserole. "lana helped" she smiled. i paused. "i did?" i asked. "yeah. you cut the vegetables" she sipped her water. "wait what?" then i remembered. "oh. i did" i say, putting my fork down and swallowing. brendon smiles. "you like cooking?" he asks. "a bit" i replied, sipping my water.  "baking?" sarah asks as she put her plate in the sink. "never" i giggled. "i burn everything" i replied. "maybe she can help me set myself on fire" brendon jokes as he took his place to the sink.

"hey you wanna go shopping?" sarah asks. i was sitting in my room re organising. i didn't want to go out. i didn't like going out. "we need to get you some clothes and things for your room" she added. "it's okay, i have some" i replied. "they're really worn out! those jeans are too small too" she sounded generally disheartened. "oh. well let's go then" i said.

we said bye to brendon and the dogs and headed out. we sat in the front together and she turned some music on and we sang along as we made our way to the mall.

we didn't really buy a lot...okay that's a lie. we went to hot topic, h&m, victoria secret, old navy, nordstrom, nasty gal, bath and body works...then we went bed, bath and beyond which we spent ages in. it's sarah's favourite store and she adored it. but after we got some subway and headed home.

we got home and brendon was on a live stream. i quickly stepped away, not knowing what to do. sarah said hi and then brendon ended it. "hey! did you have a good time?" brendon asks me as he helps us with our bags "sarah spends an awful lot of time in bed, bath and beyond" i say. the adults laughed as i started to take some of my bags upstairs.

sarah suggested i put some of my old clothes in charity. she helped me sort them. she was acting a bit suspicious and awkward but i didn't say anything. after we finished she quickly went downstairs. i started getting scared. was i in trouble? i tiptoed down the stairs and heard sarah and brendon talking.

"i-i found them in her hoodie" she sounded like she wanted to cry. "hey don't cry babe. i know. i-i saw" why are they so adorable!? "what do we do? do we tell her we know? or help her?" she asks. "let's throw these away and hide everything sharp. we can't let her hurt herself. she's a good kid" brendon says. oh shit. she found me razor blades. tears streamed down my cheeks as i ran to my room and cried.

then there was a knock at the door. "lana? it's brendon" i wiped my eyes and let him in. "i'm sorry you had to hear that. we aren't mad at you though. we just want you to be okay" he said, putting an arm round me. i nodded. "hey, we're here for you. your depression and anxiety would stand in the way" he added. wait. what. "how did you know?" i ask him. "we saw your medical file" he replied. shit. they knew. "oh" i replied quietly.

"i'll be downstairs if you need me. see ya" he ruffled my hair and left. i couldn't be asked for more bullshit today. i got into my new pyjamas and went straight to sleep in my new black and white "the fault in our stars" bedding.