my girl | brendon urie

25

so today i got into a lot of trouble.

apparently, violence is never the answer.

today a few people were talking about tammy and her suicide and making nasty jokes. i didn't take it to well. punching someone was the wrong thing to do.

i ended up in isolation. i didn't really care. tammy was important to me and i wasn't letting anyone say shit about her like that. i got home and in major trouble. but i didn't care. this was for tammy. not me. i owed her.

i sat in my room. crying. what a surprise. i missed her so much. i looked through the memory book, tears rolling down my cheeks. "lana? can i come in?" it was sarah. "lanas not here" i mumbled. "okay i'll stay here. but listen okay?" she said.

"i know shite been very hard lately. with tammy and school and shit. but you know you can talk to us if your feeling like crap. we care. we love you. i'll let you be alone for now but just know that" i heard her footsteps patter away as i started to sob again.

i was making my family upset to. brendon opened the door smiling. "hey cutie! let's go get mcdonald's!" he said. "i'm okay" i mumbled. "lies! you love mcdonald's! i'll carry you if i have to!" he said. i didn't respond. "oh well" he picked me up and took me to the car. "i'm not hungry" i insisted. "hmm...me neither. but food is good" he said as sarah got in next to me.

i ate my food in silence while brendon and sarah were cheerily laughing. then i felt sick and mumbled something about needing the bathroom.

and i really was. i didn't tell my parents, though they knew. "poor baby" sarah held me like a little kid. "are you okay with this?" i asked her awkwardly. "why wouldn't i be? c'mon let's get you home" she said. i felt so numb. this didn't feel real. i felt so bad for ruining the day.

i sat in the back of the car in silence while my parents awkwardly turned the music up. i knew they didn't want me to hear their conversation. i didn't care though. i wanted to drop onto the floor and die.