my girl | brendon urie

34

fucking birthday.

i got up and ready into this:

then mariah walked in. "hey! happy bitchday!" she grinned. i did to. we both hated our birthdays so this was nice "now i did get you a present okay and i don't regret it but i'm here to play dress up" she said as we hugged. "woo"

she curled my hair slightly while i put a bit of make up on. i just put on eye liner and mascara which she helped me so as i'm shit at it. after putting some bracelets on we headed downstairs.

"morning! happy birthday!" sarah came and hugged me. "thanks mo- sarah" that was close. mariah started laughing at me, being the good friend she is. "hey it could have been worse. imagine calling me mariah" sarah said. now it was our turn to laugh.

i started eating my breakfast while me and mariah talked. brendon walked in. "happy birthday bitch" he grinned when he saw me. "i ain't no bitch" i sassed, referring to a tour video. "sure your not" he sat next to me and put an arm round me.

it broke my heart that tammy and maddie wouldn't be here. but i knew other people would come. jade, hayley, megan, kieran, matt, ryan and josh would be here.

after everyone else came i put on some music and me and my friend jokingly danced to it and messed around. it was fun. until fucking kieran twisted his ankle. he was still laughing though.

ryan asked if we could talk so we went outside the house and spoke there. "i-i like this girl. but she's lesbian. but she's awesome and she's so sweet and kind and she does anything to make other people happy. i don't even think she feels the same. she struggles on a daily basis and recently got her heart broken. i know i can't date her now but i would wait for her if i had to" he looked at me. "because i know tammy would have wanted it too"

me.
ryan liked me.

"ryan i-" he cut me off. "i know im stupid and it won't ever happen!" he sighed. "i'm still discovering myself. sure i'm a fucking lesbian but it changes overtime" i told him. "and i know i don't feel the same but i know your have a good heart and a loving soul. if i had the chance to go out with you, i'd take it! i'd be missing out if i didn't" i said.

a smile grew on his face. "thanks for not thinking i'm weird" he said. "normal is boring" i joked, making him laugh. "i gotta go. my family wanted to visit the memorial today and go out to eat" he said. "have fun" i gave him a hug. "thank you" he asks. "anytime" i smiled.

after he went i headed back into the house. "oooh lana has a boyfriend" brendon teased me. "i am a lesbian don't you fucking dare!" i exclaimed. "thanks for emphasising the fact that you like girls" matt jokes. "bitch i'm proud" i said, grinning. "im hungry" mariah said. "when are you not?" josh said. we all bursted out laughing while mariah hated her dad for 0.1 seconds then laughed along.

me and my friends went to Taco Bell to get some food to eat. we saw some fans and took photos with them. they were all so sweet. jade had to leave early as she had to attend a family gathering so she went after that. i appreciated her company a lot. and i knew she was going home to study.

we got home and sarah had gotten a cake out for me. i hates the happy birthday song so we sang victorious which was so funny. after having some cake i had to open my presents.

kieran got me fall out boys new album and a victoria secret gift card. matt got me a polaroid camera and concert tickets to see dodie with him and mariah. hayley got me two rupi kaur poetry books. megan got me an adidas jumper and three nyx lip creams. jade had given me a claire's gift card. ryan had given me a bracelet with me and tammys names on it and some chocolate.

mariah had done something else. she, josh, brendon and sarah had dug up the past a bit and she made a photo album of pictures of us. then she got me a victoria secret gift card, a bunch of uk candy and a personalised bracelet. "so we'll get like one or two gifts and be like 'oh yeah yolo' then this bitch goes all out" i said. we all laughed as i hugged my cousin.

josh had gotten me a twenty one pilots t shirt and a phone case. zack and kayla got me tickets to see vesperteen and a yellow beanie. and then my parents had to go all fucking out didn't they. they're amazing.

sarah got me speakers, a new laptop and beats headphones. and the brendon...he's something else. he insisted on recording me opening my gift. so first he got me a new pair of trainers. then he had an envelope. "your scaring me" i said. he laughed. "i always fucking scare you, don't i?" he said. he handed me the envelope and ruffled my hair. "here you go, bitch"

i opened it...and tears filled my eyes. "oh you cry baby!" megan teased me. "lana what did you get?" mariah was grinning to. i put a hand over my mouth. i didn't know what to say. shit like this would never make someone emotional. but it did to me.

sarah took it from me. "plane tickets to london and to summer in the city - aka the biggest blogger event in the uk" she said. i started properly crying and hugged brendon. "awww. you guys are so cute" kieran swooned, because that's all he fucking does. "thanks so much. i love you" i said. "aww your so cute" he smiled.

"it's going to be so cool. i'm having my own panel and meet up! and you will too!" mariah said. "but i'm not famous. i don't do shit" i said. "that's what you think" she grinned. "mariah...did you?" i ask. "hayley and brendon helped" she giggled. "you...oh my god..."

so basically i was trying to improve my confidence by posting anonymous singing videos on youtube. and mariah had revealed to them it was me. "you are a asshole" i said to her. "i know. amazing, right?" she smiled. "i really want to beat your ass" i said. "see? she appreciates it" she said to my parents who just smiled.

mariahs friends had saved up and gotten tickets to. mariah got free tickets for her and josh. i got free tickets for me and a plus one so sarah didn't mind buying her own ticket. but it was still amazing.

"i got that for free so that isn't a proper gift" brendon said. "brendon i swear to god if you give me-" he cut me off. "you'll do what? shortass" he joked making us all laugh. "last one bitch" he handed me a box.

i opened it. "brendon you fucking didn't..." inside was the latest canon camera, a tripod, a ring light (a big one for filming and one for my phone) and a card. it said Live your dream. "lana we all think your really talented and have decided to support your dreams" he said. "your going to...oh shit" i said awkwardly. "you are so weird - i love it" hayley put an arm round me. "we're going to help you start a youtube channel so you can post your covers on there without having the hide in fear" he said.

"i-i'm gonna...have a moment..." i quickly got up and stepped out of the room. "i've never met a guy who can make a girl cry that much" megan said. "come here you weirdo" brendon gave me another hug. "you are the best human ever. thanks so much" i was trying not to cry. "hey. we want you to be happy. we aren't stopping till you are" he said. then i just started crying.

i had such an amazing father. before i was adopted i knew that brendon was genuinely a nice guy and really down to earth. but i never knew he was this...amazing. he is doing whatever he can to help me get better and see me happy. he wants me to be confident and cheerful. he wants the best for me. he won't stop until i get what he feels i deserve. "oh and i know you called sarah 'mom' today. we don't mind if you want to call us mom and dad" he chuckled. "it's MUM" i giggled.

but after that sappy moment i put the presents away and hung out with the people i love.