A Shattered Life (LOTR/Legolas Fanfic)

Chapter 18- Clouded Memories

When Amara woke up the next morning, her head pounded and her stomach turned. She sat up slightly and groaned as her head spun. She put her head in her hands and tried to recall last night's events.

Drinking game. Figures.

Sure she could hold her liquor better than a normal dwarf, but her elven side couldn't keep her from getting drunk. The door opened, the sound making Amara groan again.

"Ah You're awake!" Legolas said.

"Shhh! No words!" Amara whispered, putting her hands to her ears. Legolas chuckled and walked further into the room.

"You sure were the life of the party last night." He joked.

"Really?"

"You don't remember?" The elf sounded disappointed, which made Amara tilt her head to the side.

"Did something happen?"

"Oh no. Not really. You sang some song about an inn and something about the man in the moon." Amara began to laugh.

"The Man in the Moon Stayed Up Too Late. It's been years since I sang that..."

"Where's you learn it?"

"One of the dwarves taught me. Bofur. He sang it at Rivendell and I loved it so much that I asked him to teach me."

"Everyone last night seemed to have loved it just as much." Legolas smiled. Amara smiled and looked out the window.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Through the night. It's barely midday." Legolas said. Amara swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked to the window. She heard Legolas follow her and he stood next to her.

"It's a pity that despite having a night filled with such joy, we are still cursed to wake up to a world like this." Amara murmured. Legolas cast a glance at her.

"Do you not hold any hope that the Ring will be destroyed?" He asked. Amara sighed.

"I have faith in Frodo. It's not just the Ring though. This world is so corrupted by hate that is not bound by the Ring. Even if we defeat Sauron, we'll still wake up in a world like this. A world of easily tempted men. Full of divisions drawn across each race. Hatred between Dwarves and Elves. With me in the middle of it all."

"I don't hate you." Legolas said.

"Yea, I know that. But you're about the only elf."

"What about Lord Elrond? Or Lady Galadriel? They don't hate you." Legolas pressed.

"So that makes three elves out of What? Thousands?"

"Tauriel." Legolas added.

"And she's dead!" Amara spat, looking up at Legolas to see hurt pass across his face. Her glare softened.

"I'm sorry. Legolas...I sometimes forget that I'm not the only one with loss."

"It's fine." Legolas murmured. He took a step back and looked away. Amara shook her head.

"No it's not. I'm so sorry..." she placed a hand on Legolas' arm but he jerked it away.

"You asked me about her, you know." He said harshly.

"What? When?" Amara asked.

"Last night while you were drunk off your ass. You forced me to relive my most painful memories."

"Legolas I'm sorry, I can't remember."

"Oh you can't remember, guess that makes it all okay then. You know you act like you're the most miserable being in the world but at least you have people around you who love you. You're just too selfish to see it."

Amara hardened her glare towards the elf and stepped back.

"At least you have family, Okay? My parents are dead."

"But at least they loved you! My father despises me. I try my best to do him proud but he will always look down on me with disgust!" Legolas shouted. Amara's eyes widened. She had never heard the elf shout or become angry. He was always gentle and calm. And always kind.

Legolas' chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.

"This can't happen anymore. I can't do this." He said stepping back.

"What do you mean?" Amara asked.

"Us. I can't keep hoping that you'll one day return my feelings. I'm done, Amara." He said, walking towards the door. Amara grabbed his arm but he yanked it away.

"Legolas-"

"Just stop, Amara." He snapped, walking out the door and slamming it shut. Amara ran forward right as it slammed in her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she collapsed against the door. She let out a cry as her heart seemed to twist and crack as she sunk to the ground.

Her heart had finally recognized her feelings, it just seemed as though her mind was too stubborn to listen.