Paper Wings||Richie Tozier x reader

4

I woke up this morning and went to my closet. I picked out a pair of leggings and a grey off the shoulder tee.
I went downstairs for breakfast and poured myself a bowl of cereal, finishing it and walking back upstairs to draw.
I decided I wanted to redraw the sketch of the losers club, with Bev and I included in it this time. I opened my sketch book and flipped to an entirely blank page. I smiled as my hand drifted across the empty page, slowly filling it and making every detail stand out.
I drew Bevvie first, smiling and hugging Bill, who was laughing and playfully shoving Stanley with his free hand while the other one was wrapped tightly around Beverly. Stanley was rolling his eyes and laughing at Richie who was of course, smiling and raising his eyebrows flirtatiously at me.
I wanted to draw it as though it was actually  happening. As though it was another normal day. In the back was Eddie looking disappointed at Richie, while I was shoving Richie's face away playfully, while smiling with and pushing my hair outta the way with my free hand. I smiled in happiness as I looked at my sketch of the seven of us.  I quickly looked at my drawing again and remembered I forgot Ben, that would make seven of us. He was standing there laughing Richie and I, not even realizing Bev and Bill, hugging adorably behind him.
I put my book down to go get something to drink when the phone rang. I ran downstairs and picked it up quickly. "Hello?" I said confidently, speaking into the phone so the person on the other end of the line could hear me properly.
"Hey n/n? It's Beverly. Can you come to my house right now?" She said quietly, she sounded upset about so,etching so I quickly agreed and told her I'd be right over.
"I'll be over real soon Bevvie, don't worry" I calmly reassured her.
I hung up the phone and ran outside to grab my bike, pedalling as fast as I could to her house. All she told me was that the whole losers club was coming and it was really important that we see it.
I reached her small apartment and dropped my bike, running up the fire escape to where she was sitting, with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her mouth. She grabbed one for me out of her pocket and lit it carefully, handing it to me afterwards. I didn't really have an addiction to smoking. I don't know why because no how much I smoked I didn't feel the need to go out of my way to get cigarettes, I only ever got them when I had time to steal them, and I only smoked when Bev was with me.
Not long after, the rest of the boys arrived and we ran down to meet them.
"I need to show you something" Bev said, in a kind of frightened tone.
"What is it?" Bill said nervously, he sounded rather concerned.
"More than we saw at the quarry?!" Richie joked pretending to sound surprised.
"Richie! Shut the fuck up!" I said, snapping my attention onto him.
Beverly rolled her eyes and continued what she was saying. "My dad will kill me if he finds out I had boys in the apartment." She frowns softly, letting her emotions show ever so slightly.
"W-we'll leave a l-lookout, um r-Richie, stay here" bill commands, turning back towards Bevvie.
"What if her dad comes back?!" He asks, not so politely.
"Do what you always do" Stan comments snarkily "start talking!"
I laugh under my breath, quietly.
"It is a gift!" Richie says proudly. As the rest of us turn and head upstairs and into Beverly's bathroom.
I walk in and all I see is a red substance I assume to be blood, EVERYWHERE. The entire bathroom was covered in blood. Every inch.
I look around, taking in all of the blood.
"Bevvie...what happened in here?" I ask cautiously. This was awful.
A few minutes later we were scrubbing down the entire room, apparently her dad couldn't see all the blood so Bev thought she might have gone crazy. I guess we're all as crazy as her then.
After about an hour and a half we were back outside, riding our bikes to, I don't really know where.
"Honestly could you idiots have taken any longer?" Richie complained, causing me to roll my eyes in silence. "I wasn't the one scrubbing her bathroom and imagining her sink went all Eddies moms vagina on Halloween." He remarked sarcastically.
"S-She didn't imagine it" Bill said, protecting Beverly.
"Richie you seriously need to cal, the fuck down we were just helping her out" I said, also defending her, Jesus he gets on my nerves.
"Whatever." He says plainly.
"That's Belch Huggins car" Eddie said quietly.
"Yeah let's not stick around, let's go the other way, I'm not in the mood for fighting with him today" I say fake yawning loudly.
"Hey, isn't that the homeschooled kids bike?" Richie questioned, as we all looked at the old bike laying on its side beside the car.
"Yeah that's mikes" Eddie continued, coming to a realization of what was going on.
"We have to help him" Bev said, stopping her bike completely.
"We should?" Richie groaned, knowing that this wasn't gonna end well for him.
"Yes!" Bev said, dropping her bike, the rest of us following right after her.
"Jesus rich, you'd want so,some to help you" I said, grabbing his arm and walking past the bike and towards where we could now hear the faint yells of Mike and mean growls of Henry and his gang.
"Holy shit!" I whispered as I looked upon Henry Bowers, getting ready to bash Mikes head with a rock. I looked around for something to throw, but Bev was already ahead of me. Launching a rock, hitting Bowers in the head, leaving a mark and a little bit of blood. "Nice throw" Stan commented as we all readied ourselves with rocks.
"You losers are trying too hard" Henry said, standing up straight. "She'll do you, you just gotta ask nicely" he said grabbing his dick disgustingly as the rest of us cringed internally and externally.
Ben let out a sick battle cry and whipped a rock at Henry, the rest of us growing ours too.
"Rock waaaaaaaaaarrrr" Richie screamed, I laughed as he got hit in the face right after he finished his little remark.
I picked up two more rocks and threw the one in y/d/m (your dominant hand).
It hit bowers in the forehead right where Bev hit him the first time and made the gash so much bigger.
Bowers lay down on the ground in a ball while his friends backed down and ran. Mike running over to us for protection.
We all turned to leave except Richie, with who, I stayed with everyone else was walking away and he yelled "GO BLOW YOUR DAD YOU MULLET-WEARING ASSHOLE!!!" And flipped him off with both hands and then grabbed my hand and walked away.
"Richiiiieee I wanted to say something to that big headed egotistical ugly wombat like bastard!" I complained, fake pouting.
"Keep pouting sweet cheeks and I'm gonna have to kiss that pout better" he remarked, smirking, like usual.
He leaned in and I pushed his face away gently, but playfully.
He'd been trying that on me since the quarry, every sly chance he could, it hasn't worked though.
It's not that I don't want it. I do. But I'm just, not ready...I guess?
Besides he would be my first boyfriend. He's probably had at least one girlfriend. Besides, he's probably only skirting with me cause no one else is around and cause bill likes Bev and vice versa.
Richie frowned as if he was hurt, but it was so exaggerated and fake I couldn't help but smile.
We wall to the rest of the group and grab our bikes. Making our way to the Arcade, where they all agreed to go when Trashmouth and I were gone.
"Jesus fuck I hate Bowers" Richie said, as we made our way to the arcade.
"He's such an ugly fuck nugget who needs to learn his place, and fast! Who does he think he is? Like how the fuck does he get away it all the time?" I rant loudly, speaking fast. "I don't understand one day he's gonna get his ass handed to him and I hope I'm there to fucking laugh in his face or dO iT mYsElF!" I continue, pedalling steady but my hands are trembling in frustration. I go to continue my rant, nobody complaining cause they understand where my anger is coming from, and agree with me completely. I open my mouth to speak. "How does one even THINK tha-" I'm cut off by Eddie smirking, "beep beep y/n" he says quietly, I frown and pipe down.
"Hey that's my thing!" Richie says disappointedly.
"Well your both Trashmouths, I mean, n/n isn't all that much of a Trashmouth, but..." Stanley says "she's still a Trashmouth."
"I'm not as much of a Trashmouth as I thought I was" I said quietly, everything I thought I was Richie has me beat.
It's okay though, being a Trashmouth probably isn't the best thing to be.
We get to the arcade and I immediately go to a game where I get to kill people:))))) that sounds so bad.
I start playing the game in silence, totally destroying my enemies.
God I'm so good at this game. I play a few more rounds and then Bill shows up.
"H-hey y/n" he says, smiling meekly as he watches me finish my game.
"Hey Bill, you wanna play after I finish this round?" I ask politely, shooting the last guy.
"Sure thanks" he says without a stutter. I move out of the way for him and smile, he returns the gesture and clicks start new game as I walk to find something else to do.
I find Richie and watch him play street fighters laughing at him when he fails and teasing him about his previous fails, when he doesn't.
We then head to the park where the street fair is being held. Richie took a mans tuba and was trying to use it.
"Richie stop" I told him trying to take the tuba from him. I failed at it though.
The man finally got his tuba back from Richie. Jesus, this boy. "Yo what the fuck dude?" Was all Richie said before taking his ice cream from Richie and joining the others conversation.
We walked to a bench and started talking about fears. I totally zoned out until I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Hm?" I said in reply, looking at Richie who was sitting beside me and had tapped me.
"They were wondering what your fear is, since mine is clowns" Richie said, looking at me, his brown eyes shining with curiosity. "Oh...um mime is kind of personal....I.." My response is short and I feel uncomfortable saying it out loud. Saying it in front of other people besides Beverly.
"Coke on y/n you know ours" Eddie pushed.
"Guys, trust me just don't push it, it's not something you would want to share" Bev said, trying to get them to stop prying.
"Come on Bev, she knows all of ours! That's not fair" Stanley continued, frowning.
"Myself" I mumbled, barely audible to anyone.
"W-what? I didn't h-hear you" Bill said quietly and gently, I guess trying to make me feel more comfortable.
"Um" I said in a whisper, but a little louder than last time.
"Y/n since when are you quiet?" Richie said, a little surprised at my sudden lack of confidence.
"Since when do I have to share something I'm not comfortable with?" I said louder. By far.
"Well we just find it a little unfair that you know our fears but you refuse to tell us yours." Mile said, quietly.
"Myself, I'm afraid of myself" I said, embarrassment shadowing my expression.
"How can you be afraid of yourself?" Ben asked curiously.
I frowned even more and felt ashamed. "I mean, it doesn't matter" I say smiling sheepishly, attempting to hide my embarrassment by laughing awkwardly.
"N/n, just tell us" Mike said, he looked frustrated that I wouldn't tell them. I don't want them to be mad at me.
"I'm afraid of what I could do to myself. I'm afraid of what I have done to myself. Is that explanation enough for you?" I said, still looking at my feet as I kicked them in front of me as I sat on the bench.
"I'm not understanding" Ben said. Making me feel worse.
"Leave her alone, she's said enough she doesn't owe you an explanation." Bev said, now getting annoyed at them.
"I'm afraid of what I am and what I've been through, I'm afraid of myself I've already said this, and if you don't understand the context of me being afraid of what I've done to myself and what I do to myself than I'm not explaining it" I say, biting back the tears that are stinging my eyes.
"N/n you didn't have to tell them" Bev said quietly and sweetly. Trying not make me feel more embarrassed. Than I am.
"Y/n?" Richie finally spoke up, his voice soft and his eyes roaming what he could see of my face.
"I don't feel good, I'm gonna throw up." I whispered. My voice scratchy, letting them know I was going to cry. I blinked back the tears, I'm not weak. I looked up, stood up and fixed my posture they won't see me cry.
"I'm fine, but I'm gonna go home" I said casually, making myself see, stronger than I am.
"I'll go with you" Beverly smiled and I nodded, we left them all staring after us as we walked to my house.
"Don't y/n you looked super strong back there, not weak" she said, reading my mind. I smiled.
"Thanks, I feel a little better. That wasn't as embarrassing as I thought but I'm still embarrassed that they all have guessed that I was weak. But I'm not anymore. I'm okay. No one has to worry" I say, reassuring myself more than her.
After a little while of walking Bev and I decide to have a sleepover. At my house obviously. My mom wouldn't say no if I just brought her home and said that her dad said yes. So we went to her house and asked her dad. He said fine and she grabbed some clothes and we headed off to my place.
When we got to my house my book was still open the page I had drawn the five of us on. I decided to add Mike to the drawing, he was standing in the back watching all of this laughing and smiling, yet face palming at Richie.
Beverly was so proud of my drawing and loved it so much. So while she was painting her nails I drew another one. A close up of me and her hugging tightly with the most stupid grins on our faces and we're in our PJ's. She took a long to,e to paint her nails so I had a lot of time draw. We talked throughout herding her nail art and me sketching us.
"So y/n...heh" she said slowly, laughing nervously.
"Hm?" I hummed in reply, finishing up the last details of my drawing and dropping the sketch book on my bed.
"You and Richie huh?" She said calmly and smoothly. I mentally face palmed.
"No there's no me and Richie" I stated simply, taking a sip of my lime ricky poppe shoppe soda and giving jer a quizzical look, pretending I don't know anything about the subject.
"Oh please n/n!" She said, putting the top back on the nail polish. "Maybe no one else sees it but I'm your best friend! I know you like him" she laughed I knew she would know.
"Yeah just like you like Bill!" I replied making her almost choke on her drink.
"So I like Bill?" She said, setting her pop down.
"So I like Richie." I said I'm the exact tone she used.
"So I was right?" She said a little more sympathetic, knowing she was right. "I find that sad that you like him when all he doesn't is call you 'sugartits'"
I frowned knowing she was right. It is kind of sad that I like the guy who is a little creepy towards me. But I know he's just trying to be funny.
"Yeah but he does it for shits and giggles, I doubt he actually thinks I'm pretty" I said shrugging off the compliments he gives me daily. I can't help but think he doesn't mean it.
"Y/n trust me, he means it. I can see it in his face and how he gets upset when you shrug it off and silently tell yourself it's not true. I get that you don't find it fitting for someone to like you because trust me I get it. I really do. And I know you don't trust it. You don't trust him with your heart. Or anyone, besides me for that matter. And I know, I know it's not helping that he acts the way he does, but let me tell you y/n he does mean it." She finished, that was so cliche I'm kind of shocked. "Wow Bev....that was so cliche I think I might die" I say laughing, causing both of us to laugh and throw marshmallows  at each other. We had a giant bowl of marshmallows, chocolate, and pretzels. It was good. We stayed up till one important the morning watching movies and singing AC/DC. it's not weird.
Bev got tired and fell asleep when I was turning off the TV. So I just decided to go to sleep too. It's fine.
I went to sleep rather easy tonight, my usual nightmares about my past, where splashed around me as I dreamt silently.
I was had just turned eight when it started. For years being told I wasn't good enough. Being told I was better off dead, better off killing myself right then. I was lonely. My friends stopped talking to me because of the rumours. I had no one. And then it was the worst day of my life. I mean yes, every day was god awful for me. I wanted more than anything to end it. I resorted to cutting just to feel something. Dragging that blade across my wrist every night. Just waiting to finally be left alone. Or to be saved as I watched the red liquid trickle down my arm as I held it up.
But like I said. The worst day of my life came. I had just turned nine.
I was walking home when he came. He came up behind me as I walked down the street past the dimly lit alleyway I always passed. But something was different.
I sped up, feeling unsafe until I heard footsteps running after me. I felt hands tugging at my hair as I yelped in pain and was dragged into the alleyway. I fought. But I was nine. What could I do?
I was left there by myself bruised and bloody. He raped and beat me, leaving me there thinking someone was going to come and see soon. I fixed myself up and dragged myself home.  Wishing more than ever to be dead.
This time. It was the rare time when I was lucid dreaming. (If you don't know what lucid dreaming is, it's basically when you have realized your dreaming and can control your dreams)
I walked home and grabbed a knife, slitting my throat and bleeding out. Blood all over my sheets and pillows. But of course this didn't really happen. I was lucid dreaming. And when you lucid dream you can wake yourself up by killing yourself. I woke up. Sweating and panting like a fat pug puppy after a run.
I walked downstairs to get some water. I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottled water and went back upstairs. I was okay. I'm fine. It's over. It was just a nightmare. They'll go away one day.
I walked up the stairs and turned the corner to go back to my room. Standing in my doorway, wasn't Beverly.
I saw myself. Bleeding. Sitting in a pool of my own blood. I walked forward. I placed a hand on my own shoulder as I cried. Then it stopped. The crying ceased and I was still. Totally frozen. I then moved once again after a moment. I picked up another blade out of the pile and started muttering more insults to myself. I kept cutting. I cut and cut and cut. I didn't stop. And then he came. I saw him come and grab me. My brother. Yelling more insults. Telling me I'm fat. Ugly. Stupid. And that I should kill myself. And all I could do was watch myself continue to cry as I was dragged away by the man from the alleyway. He came quick and grabbed me tight. And walked away with me.
I was finally able to move again and screamed. Waking Bev up as she turned on my bedroom light and saw the blood. and the clown, standing behind me. Unmoving. But laughing. She looked back down at the blood and grabbed my hand. Pulling me into my room as the clown disappeared.
"Y/n?" She said a little after I sat on my bed silently. Tears in my eyes but none on my face.
"I'm okay now" I said quietly, laying down slowly next to her. "Just a little shocked is all" I whispered.
"I know, that's how I was when it happened to me. Shaken up and terrified."
"But, Bevvie. How did it know that was my biggest fear?" I say, tiredly rolling over to face her.
"I don't know y/n it just does" she says looking at me too as we both fall into a dreamless sleep. Knowing my parents can't see the giant blood bath on my wooden floor. Bev and I would wash the floors tomorrow.

A/N
Ik this was so bad I'm sorry, I need to be better. But I'm trying and that's okay so....bye