what nobody knows; jinhwi ff

chapter thirty eight

don't sexualize finn wolfhard y'all nasties

❤~❤

"FROM LEE DAEHWI :D"

Jinyoung stared at the very words he wrote himself on the hat given to by him by Daehwi. After what he did, breaking up with Daehwi on the phone like that, he felt too guilty to even look at the hat. In the end all it reminded him of was Daehwi, and how much he missed him.

He wanted to see him. He wanted to see him smile, wanted to see him be okay, but now he's stuck in this stuffy dorm until the press conference a few days from now.

What made things worse was that his phone was confiscated, and he no longer had any other entertainment aside from the TV, but even that wasn't enough. Nothing seemed fun anymore. It was like his world rotated back to what it was like before Daehwi. Before his friends. Before it lit up.

Currently Jihoon had locked himself inside his room, still angry at Jinyoung. But he doesn't blame Jihoon for how he feels or anything. After all, he knew his friend was just worried about Daehwi's wellbeing and so was Jinyoung. He had every right to be angry at him.

He sighed and lay down on his bed, staring at the photo frame of him, Daehwi, Somi, Dongmyeong, Seonho and Guanlin that day in the milkshake place. He never really got to take more group photos with them. But after today, it seemed unlikely to take any more. In the end he's grateful for all the memories.. he just wishes he could've made more.

He could've went to the amusement park with them. He smiled just by imagining it. Dongmyeong and Somi would want to ride the roller coaster and laugh at each other when their pictures get taken. Seonho would just want to eat all the food available there. Guanlin would probably want to ride everything he sees whether it's scary or not and drag Seonho along with him (while Seonho protests of course). And Jinyoung would probably find some couple headbands and wear them with Daehwi! That's always been his dream. Going to the amusement park and wearing a couple headband with someone there. Maybe even sharing the same cotton candy. Now it probably won't ever happen.

To cheer himself up, Jinyoung thought more about what other kind of memories he wanted to make. Aside from the amusement park, he also wanted to experience a spontaneous trip. He knows that even if he does go to college it'll probably be a cyber one as his company pretty much doesn't care about his education and just wants him to finish off high school quickly. And then when he graduates he really will end up being a full time idol. Funny thing is though, being an idol technically isn't a full time job. It's a part time job of you showing your charm through the camera, and once you're off the stage and that light flickers off, you're not fully the happy person you appear to be in front of the camera anymore

Some people think it's a fun job, but when it comes to cases like these where you fall in love and you're locked in a cage like a bird to reflect on your natural instinct, it isn't as fun as people imagine it to be anymore.

Putting that aside, Jinyoung did want to experience it. That feeling of being unprepared but going with the flow anyway, a spur of the moment thing, he wanted to feel it. He watched college dramas on the TV before and always felt that their spontaneous trips were fun. But now it seems that there really will be no one to suddenly show up and pick him up to travel in the near future.

It's happening again. Jinyoung hasn't felt this sad in ages. I miss everyone. He thought. He just wanted to break the window down and run away to a better place.. but he couldn't just leave everything else behind.

If he leaves now, what would happen to Jihoon? He'd have to continue his career alone without his friend by his side because he was scared enough to run away from it all? Would Jinyoung really just run away and throw the friendship they developed all behind?