Someday I'm Gonna Be With You (Carmilla One-Shots)

What's going on in there?

This is practically a crack fic

but really what has this whole one-shot collection been?

Tags: LaFerry, Crack, Fluff, Sexual themes

If there's one thing Lafontaine loves, it's a new thing to experiment on. So when they found out J.P. Armitage had been living in one of the computers in the sentient library, they just had to get their hands on him. Once they got him on the sleek and sexily portable USB drive, it was pretty easy to just plug him into anything and talk to him. And talk to him Laf did.

For hours on end Laf would shut themselves up in their room doing nothing but talking to J.P. about the past and everything he experienced living in the catalogue for so long. In turn, Laf told him about their experiments and how much they love science.

One day, J.P. decided to allow Lafontaine to delve into his consciousness. He had never let the science nerd do it before, and surprisingly they had respected his wishes, but it was time. He had no reason to feel so... bashful about it. It's not like it's a pleasurable act. He supposes he just wasn't ready to find out his origins until now. Right now.

I want you to explore me, Lafontaine.

"J.P., for real?"

It's time.

"If you say so, Armitage. Don't blame me if I press a wrong button though."

I trust you.

That's all that Laf could ask for in a totally platonic not in any way at all sexual friendship between a human person and a possibly-once-was-human-but-now-might-be-dead-but probably-might-just-be-trapped-in-a-computer... thing.

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She always knew this day would come, when she lost her one true love. Lafontaine was in their room again, with J.P. She just didn't expect her to lose them to an 8-bit.

But, then again. It's Laf. They get aroused at the sight of new science equipment. She really should have seen this coming. It hurts though. The pang in her chest is all she can focus on, when she can't hear Lafontaine's voice creep in from the intermittent silence in the other room.

"oh man, you're so responsive" Perry hears Lafontaine say. It tears at her, so she decides to clean the entire house again for the third time that day. What else can she do? Her love doesn't want to be hers anymore.

The movements of her arms become jerky as they shake and she has to put more effort into scrubbing the counter tops with the sponge. Clean home, clean brain. or something. She's not sure what her mother used to say, but it definitely wasn't-

"Can't believe you're letting me touch you like this, J.P." Their voice is louder somehow even though she's trying her best to masque it with the sound of scrubbing and soap and all the delicious destressing goodness that she bathes herself in every day. They aren't working.

"I can't go any faster." It's a long and drawn out, and each second that Perry has to hear it for is like a millennium (falcon) in her mind brain.

"Yes!"

"Oh, right there!"

She throws the rag down in frustration and storms over to Lafontaine's door, knocking harshly four times.

"Come in, Per." Gladly. She opens the door to see Lafontaine on their bed with their laptop sitting next to them, a bunch of complicated symbols spread over the screen. They look like hieroglyphs or something. Perry doesn't have time for hieroglyphs!

"What were you doing in here?" Perry asks tersely.

Letters start popping up on the screen over the strange symbols

Uh oh

Perry narrows her eyes at the laptop.

"J.P. let me explore his files."

"Is that what they're calling it these days? 'Exploring someone's files'?" She puts air quotes around it as if it sounds absurd. Which it does. No questions there.

"Call what?" Laf asks confused. Perry heaves a great sigh and rolls her eyes.

Perry I am inside a laptop decorated with my little pony stickers. I do not need any further embarrassment.

"The noises you were making weren't exactly PG-13. I'll have to ask you to keep it own next time you-"

"The next time I what, Perry?" Laf's standing on their own two feet now and they look pissed with their arms crossed across their chest and their eyebrows furrowed. Perry won't back down though.

"The next time you fornicate with your digital boyfriend!" Perry says it in a rushed manner as she points at the laptop, which just shows a shocked emoji face. She doesn't know if she'd be able to say it a second time. Lafontaine gasps as they hear the words and clutches their chest as if hurt.

"Boyfriend?" They ask," Then what are we? Just friends? I thought we were past that!"

"I thought we were too!"

"Whatever you thought I was doing with J.P. is not true. He's in a damn computer for Christ's sake, what could I do?!"

Actually y-

"Shut it, J.P.!" Lafontaine is unusually brutal right now. Perry needs to Lafon-tame them, so she steps forward with her head bowed in guilt and takes one of Laf's hands.

"I'm sorry, Laf," she says quietly, so only Lafontaine can hear. Hopefully. She looks up into their eyes and sees the anger slowly melting away as they take a deep breath.

"It's okay, Per," they tell her as they pull her into a hug, "you were just jealous of a laptop."

"I was- I was not!" she says indignantly, "I was jealous of the thing inside the laptop!"

I am not a thing!

"I know my love for science is strong, but it isn't that strong." Lafontaine smiles and giggles against Perry's neck. Perry holds them closer, beginning to laugh with them.

"I love you," she whispers. They whisper it back instantly and Perry sighs in relief knowing she hasn't lost them.

yet.

Gonna take some days off from posting 'cause that sounds like a good and healthy idea. I'll be back Thursday night/Friday morning. ♥