Someday I'm Gonna Be With You (Carmilla One-Shots)

To Avoid Heartbreak

Tags: Hollstein, angst, wounds, drabble, panther Carm, Carmilla's perspective, If you don't read this as a metaphor it won't make much sense. I mean it will but it'd be kinda weird.

I sank my claws into her skin, reveling in how it hurt me more than it hurt her even though I knew eventually the adrenaline would run out and pain would start to encapsulate her little by little until it is agonizing and her throat is sore from the screams ripped from it. I tell her the pain will ebb, slowly but surely. It does.

The wounds which cradle my claws scab and heal around those ten sharp daggers even slower, but never fully. And I stay embedded in her marred skin, but some days I want to retract my claws. I want to turn inside out and hide the beast inside pale skin so I'll never have to hurt her again, but I know the pain of removal can be just as bad. 

It's futile to wish to turn these matted paws into hands, and these furry flea-ridden arms into ones made of smooth, pale, pink flesh. My heart aches with disappointment. Were it not for my nature maybe I could have been softer, more caring. Maybe soft-padded finger tips could have caressed instead of these claws whose soul intent is to mutilate at even the barest glance.

This is another one of those metaphorical thingy-mabobs that I write which very loosely relates to Carmilla and people are like Rae wtf is this and I'm like idk it's a thing. 

So there ya go.