Let me protect you

Not now

"I miss you" I said.

"You know I eh... I have a baby now, her name is Leah. She's beautiful. She reminds me of you. She's so happy and always puts me in a good mood" I said starting to cry.

"Nathan proposed..." I stuttered.

"And we're gunna get married and be together forever"

"I always picture you there when I think about it.... I miss you so much Daddy I just want you to be here again. You shouldn't have gone. I need you here. I need you to walk me down the aisle, I need you to tell me your dad jokes and I need Leah to call you grandad I need you here for me daddy I love you so much" I cried louder.

"We all miss you, I know you're here in my heart but I just miss seeing you , I love you daddy" I hung up the phone.

I called his old phone and left that message. It's been one full year since he died. I sighed getting up off the couch. Everyone was still asleep. The bus finally stopped and I decided to get out.

It was so sunny outside. I held my hand up to protect me from the light.

"Elle you're up" nano said walking over. Oh Jesus Christ don't leave me with nano. "I'm the only one up" I sighed. "Okay well you go over to that van and meet your support act and I'll wake them up" he said. Ugghhh. "If you need anything today come and get me ok?" he asked. "Thanks nano" I smiled getting up. Nano has never been that caring to me before.

I ignored his order and went in so we could go over as a group. Nathan walked out and pulled me into him.

"Did you call him?" he asked. I nodded.

Nathan kissed my head and helped me up. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I put mine around his waist. We were still in our pyjamas.

We walked up to the van and knocked on the door. It opened suddenly to see him. This day is just getting better.

"Elyar?" I said.

"Hey" he said pulling me into a hug.

Elyar is my ex boyfriend from school. Great. "Hi" I smiled into it.

"Hey mate" he said shaking Nathan's hand. "Em Elyar was my boyfriend in school" I said. Nathan just nodded awkwardly. "Yep she broke my heart" Elyar laughed. We both just laughed awkwardly.

"Well we need to get dressed but I'll see you later" I said turning around.

We walked on. "Why did you break up with him?" Nath asked.

"Because we were just meant to be friends I didn't feel we were good as a couple" I said. "But apparently he had big feelings for me and I didn't soo" I sighed.

"The poor guy" Nathan laughed.

We got back to the bus and I sat down for a while. I decided to call Karen.

"Hello?"

"Hi Karen"

"Hi Elle wow do we have news for you!" she said sounding excited.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Jess was playing with Leah today is the sitting room and she stood up all by herself" she chirped. To be honest I wanted to cry. I'm suppose to be there for these things. I can't miss another one.

"Wow... That's amazing" I smiled.

"We have a video. Jess can send it on to you" she said.

"Yeah that would be great thank you" I sniffed.

"I hope you're okay Elle, he's in our thoughts" she said concerned.

"Thanks Karen it means so much" I said hanging up.

I walked back into Nathan.

"Leah stood up today" I stated.

"What? really?! " He shot up.

"Yeah" I smiled starting to cry.

He pulled me into him and kissed me. "we should have been there" I said. "I know love but we'll be home soon and we can see her do way more things" he said.

"Nath she should be here" I stuttered.

"Babe we can't bring a baby on the bus" he sighed.

"But she's our baby! this is possibly the worst time! She's growing up so fast and we're missing it! I feel like apart of me is missing! I'm constantly worried about her!" I said starting to get angry.

"I know we're missing it and it's the worst.... But we can't leave Elle we have made commitments. All those people have paid to see us tonight. I miss her too" he said. I didn't want to argue with him about it.

I kissed him and held his face.

Today is going to be a long day.

*************

I had my makeup done and I just needed to got dressed. I needed to go to the bathroom so I walked down the hall. "Hi you" Max said messing my hair. I smiled and walked down further.

"Elle" a voice said behind me. Elyar not now.

"Hi Elyar" I fake smiled.

"You look beautiful" he smiled.

"Thank you" I replied.

"I know you know I'll always love you Elle, you're engaged and I know that I won't ever get between you two. But I just miss my best friend" he said honestly. Ugh jeez.

"Thank you Elyar today just isn't really a good day. I really hope we can get back to how we were. Friends wise" I said walking into the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror. I looked so tired. I sighed. I just stared at the soap bottle. You know when you're just staring at something and you just start crying. It felt like it was for no reason but it was.

I breathed out calming myself down when I suddenly felt sick.

"Shit" I mumbled before throwing up. "Ugghh" I moaned. Typical.

I ran out and got to the bus. I brushed my teeth before running back inside.

"You okay love?" Nathan said as I ran back in. "Yeah fine" I said out of breath. I'm unfit. He put his hand on my head. "You're really warm love" he said.

"I'll be fine" I said as the voice introduced us to the stage.

I was on stage singing and jumping around. I felt so sick. We started singing to glad you came. I sang along and looked through the crowd. I saw a woman with a baby and a little girl singing along. My mind just wandered off to Leah and I kept staring at her. The mother gave me a weird look.

"Well that would have been better if Elle sang her words" Jay laughed. Shit.

When the show ended I ran off stage.

"Babe what's going on?" Nathan said raising his voice. "I can't take it! I need to see her!" I screamed. "Elle I know but you can't" he said. "She's my child I need to see her!" I cried. "Elle you need to sort this out you can't be dazed like that on stage! You forgot your words!" nano said coming up to me.

"Oh my god shut the fuck up nano you have no idea what's going on!" I screamed. "Maybe you need a break" he said.

"Do I really?" I said sarcastically.

"You no what while I'm at it I my as well just leave! You all couldn't give a fuck! I'm done. Go ahead you'll be happier as a boyband" I screamed.

I stormed out and ran to the tour bus. I locked myself in the bathroom and burst into tears.

Hope you guys like it! Please tell me what you think!! Xx