Heartbreak Story - Byler

XV - Can't Remember How It Used to Be

Note: This one is for my long-time best friend Ella who started reading this book yesterday and this chapter includes a Teen Wolf reference and Teen Wolf is our thing so, Ella when you get up to this, it's for you.

Trigger warning: Self harm included in this chapter, talk of suicide.

Will's POV:

I was sitting in Mike's lap, his arms locked around my waist and I could feel his hot breath grazing against the bare skin on my neck, sending shivers up my spine. From behind me, Mike placed a kiss on the tip of my ear and then began gently nibbling it and I giggled.

"Stop it!" I squealed. "That tickles."

"Oh yeah?" He teased and bit down harder making me gasp out in shock.

"You're the worst." I grumbled, turning around to look at my boyfriend's pouting face.

"But you still love me, right?" He whispered, looking at me with a more serious face. As though he could possibly ever believe that he wasn't my whole world.

"Of  course I do." I told him, leaning in to place my lips against his and we shared a passionate kiss. "I love you so much, Mikey."

His face was in my hands as I stroked his pale skin, taking in every freckle that decorated it. Mike stared at me with dark eyes, his long hair falling in his face and I began leaning in again, wanting a deeper kiss, but he opened his mouth.

"Wake up!" He yelled and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I was awake, wasn't I?

"Will, wake up. Please wake up." The voice continued to shout but it changed from Mike's low tone to a girl's anxious and terrified screams. "Will, please. WILL!"

I fought to keep my heavy eyes closed, not wanting to leave this place where I was happy and being loved was a possibility for me. Someone's small hands were gripping my shoulders so tightly they were starting to hurt and I could hear crying, whatever place this person was trying to bring me to was, it seemed like it was filled with pain and I didn't want to go there. I wanted to stay with Mike even if it was just for a little while longer.

"Will!" The girl wailed, her voice much louder and it sounded as though it must have hurt her throat. She was clearly terrified and I knew I had to wake up to comfort her so I finally yielded and allowed my eyes to open. What I first thought to be fire met my vision and I thought the room was ablaze before I understood that it was flaming hair that had fallen into my face as the girl knelt down next to me, confusing my exhausted self.

"M-Max?" I murmured but no matter how hard I tried, my voice remained almost soundless and was only just audible. I attempted to stand up but I found I didn't have the energy to move an inch and the action sent a rush of pain through my head.

"What did you do?" I heard another voice say and my eyes slid around the room and I found my brother standing above us, tears streaming down his face. My bleary eyes took in the whole situation and I understood I was lying on the cold bathroom floor, Max and Jonathan around me with looks or terror on their faces and I knew why as I was in a pool of my own blood.

My arms which, only probably an hour ago I'd carved long, deep cuts into and watched as blood poured from them like a waterfall, were now heavily bandaged and I presumed Jonathan had wasted no time after discovering me like this and I found myself furious. I'd locked the door so that I wouldn't be found until it was too late but, as I looked towards the door, I saw the damage and realised my brother must have kicked it down, all while I was unconscious in a much happier place. I'd wanted to take all the power I'd spent my whole life unintentionally gifting to Mike with both hands back for myself and I'd known that only in death could I ever not love him so this was my solution and Jonathan had ruined it.