Love runs out

Chapter Nineteen

An hour I have been waiting outside the bathroom door. It breaks me to see Dakota like this. Its just fear plastered all over her face. I have no idea whats wrong and all I want to do is help.

"Baby please let me in..." I murmur. I just hear sniffles and rest my head on the door

"I can't..."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to see me like this.."

"Baby, I want to comfort you. Let me in?" I speak with a soft tone hoping it helps the situation. To my surprise the lock turns and there stands Dakota. Puffy red eyes and a small little smile.

"Hey.."

"Hi." She wipes her nose and walks into my arms and rests her head on my shoulder. Her arms wrap around me.

"What is it?"

"It seems I am carrying a baby.." she whispers.

I feel my heart start to beat a little bit quicker. She pulls back and looks at me. She looks me up and down before her eyes return to mine.

"Promise me you won't leave me? I really can't do this on my own Jamie. I'm terrified. I know I'm not ready to be a mother but in nine months time I'm going to have to be"

I watch as she moves her hand down to her stomach and pat gently

"I'm going nowhere. We will get through this together and eventually we will have a healthy baby in our arms."

"I didn't want a family... not yet.."

"Why? What are you so afraid of?"

"You.."

"Me.. why?"

"You left Amelia... you had Dulcie.. what if that happens to me? I really don't want to lose you Jamie. You mean so much to me and I know you will love this baby just as much as me.."

"You're scared Ill leave you? Dakota. I know I want you. I'm happy we are starting a family. A part of you and me combined.. a little you running about.. Im excited and I'm more than happy about it. We will be grand. You will make an incredible mother. You have a brilliant role model." She smiles and hides her head in my shoulder.

We stand embracing eachother for what seems to be forever but its only 5 minutes that has passed by.

"Im sorry about my reaction"

"Don't be. It is a scary thing.. i can definitely relate" I wink and Dakota shakes her head before lightly slapping my arm

"Your jokes just don't get any better" she roles her eyes and makes a move to the kitchen

"Wheres Zep?" I call through

"I asked Stella to take him on her hike with her, seems she complied with what I asked"

"Seems we will have to look for another house... it'll be sad to leave this one behind" I look around and then focus my eyes back on Dakota.

"This has been my home for so long, its almost like its become apart of me. I really don't want to let it go" She shrugs and sits up at the breakfast bar

"We can buy it I suppose, I just don't think its big enough for a baby, us and Zep.. and when Dulcie comes to stay.. we just need more room"

"I know, Ill see if stella will have it.. I don't want to let it go just yet."

I nod and she smiles. Shes still far too quiet. I know she's scared but I have no idea how to even calm her down. Sure I've been through it before but it is never actually me. I'm not the one carrying the baby or going through the changes women have to. I'm the one who causes all of this. I sit opposite her and we both just stare into eachothers eyes.

"Stop you're making me nervous" She mutters

"Why?"

"You're gorgeous"

"So are you. Why does me being gorgeous make you nervous?" I frown

"I dont know.. i feel unworthy of you"

"Why?"

"I always feel like You will leave me.."

My heart sinks. She has been hurt so much in the past that she lacks the trust in any man. I know I am partially to blame with how it all unfolded at the beginning of us.

I pull her closer and she relaxes. I stroke her hair and we sit together in silence. Not an awkwad silence or an unwanted silence but a peaceful and calm silence.

I sigh quietly

"You do nothing but make me smile on a day to day basis. I look at you and see my whole future. I see a long and happy life with you. All i ever do around you is smile and laugh. I know we fight and argue sometimes but what couple doesn't? If we didn't it wouldn't be a relationship. Dakota I love you and only you. I know I have loved before but so have you and I can only promise you that I love you more. It was you who helped me with my issues about my Mum, you who told me to tell my Dad how I feel and it was you who was there through it all. I know having a child right now is probably not such a good idea but that little baby inside your tummy is half of me and half of you. Something we made together and that is something we will have for the rest of our lives and looking at that little baby daily will always remind me of how much I love their Mummy. You're already brilliant with Dulcie, you will be amazing with our own child. You always doubt yourself baby... please have faith and trust in yourself. I know I do" I whisper it into her ear and she looks up with teary eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"That was beautiful Jamie. Im sorry I'm such a pain... I'm just a big bag of emotions right now. I don't know how to feel or react... one thing I so know is I do love you and I do want to have this baby because you're right.. its half of me and half of you and it will also remind me of how much I love their daddy and how love made this beautiful child."

I smile and she smiles back. I wipe her tears with my thumb and relax back as she relaxes back into my body.

I'm going to have another baby!