You, Me, and Us ////// Wannabe_lol_1212

Chapter Six

We sat in my car sipping coffees talking about anything and everything. He is amazing. He makes me smiles and laugh like no other, i mean Ive never had many friends. And as of the past few years I can think of anyone who has said more than sentence to me just because. If someone talked to me it was because we were doing a project together.

"So where is your mom? You never talk about her." Jonathon asks me.

I wasn't expecting this. I hate talking about my mom. Our relanship is rocky and I dont like anyone to know. The only people who do know is my family and even then. I think he can tell by my face that it is a sesitvive topic because he quickly adds "I mean you dont have to tell me anything. I was just curious."

"Um-no-no it alright. My mom is around. If thats what you wondering, I just dont get along with her all that well. Thats all."

"Don't get along with her? How?" He gently asks me.

"Well, Ive always been close with my dad, like really close. He is probably my best friend and he always got me and encouraged me. My mother on the hand, does the opposite. She hates everything I want to do and when I fight back things get worst." His face looks worried. "It has never gotten physical! We just bicker and argue. It has just gotten to the point and that I just avoid her all together."

"Oh yeah. My dad and I were like that but more when I was younger."

"Yeah." I say.

"What do you guys disagree on?" I hesitate to answer but i have never told anyone this before and I need to. I need someone and he is all I have.

"Ive wanted to go to NYU for college since fifth grade. My mom hates the idea. She thinks it stupid and she doesnt want me to go. She thinks Im not going to be able to get a scholarship and never be able to afford. Every time it is mentioned she shoots it down. It makes me upset of course. I mean it is my dream and its possible. Since Ive started high school ive been making it happen but she doesnt care. I have just stopped telling her things, which makes her more angry but its not like she cares. She never did."

"What do you want to do with your life?"

"Gosh, what dont I want to do? i want to explore the world and see everything. I love small things. Small innocent things. Things only certain people can understand. Things no one can take away from you. I love rainy days which is ironic because I am from Florida but they are just the best. I love the smell, the feeling, everything. No one can take that from me and no one understands it like I do. I also love music but not the hard stuff. There is this guy name Eden. His stuff is like angels singing. it is soft but has a beat and his voice. Oh my god his voice is amazing. He is indie which I love because no one knows who he is except me. His mine thing."

I look over at Jonathon for the first time in a while. His face is thoughful. He is leaning on the arm consel seperating us with his chin is on his palm.

"Cara, I think you are the most interresting person I have ever met."

I laugh "i doubt it."

"No, you're amazing. You're beautiful and smart and you know yourself. You know yourself."

I dont know myself though. Everyday I doubt myself. I know what I want but at the same time I dont know if I truly want those things. I look out the window instead of responding. I see Haley and her friends leaving. They pile into her mustang and they take off. 

"Why didn't you sit with Haley? I thought you guys were friends." I ask.

"I wouldn't consider her my friend. She is my second option, my backup plan. I would like to be with you but I figure you don't want to be seen with me."

There is some hurt dripping at the end of his words. I can tell he is upset but I dont know what to say. It isn't him. Its me.

"I don't want to ruin what you have. Everyone loves you. Everyone hates me."

"Care don't you see that I dont care!?" He yells making me jump. "Cara I like you okay? I think you are amazing and beautiful and I dont care if Im seen with you or not."

"Why?" I whisper. He shakes his head smiling a little bit.

"You are so amazing I cant put it into words."

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not edited.

so in the beggining of this book i said this story is based on me i ment Cara. She is pretty much me and how I see myself sometimes. Ive been developing her for a few years now and I think this is how I want to represent her. if that makes sense idk