so i hope everyone remembers who Trumpet is because this chapter is about him. so he told me that he um he liked me... lol and well he didn't say it directly he said it in chinese and he thinks i don't know what it means but i literally just googled it so i haven't told him that i just translated it and he keeps texting me like "i'll tell you what it means eventually i just have to muster up the courage" and stuff like that and i just i don't like him in that way like i really really like our friendship the way it is now and i know that when he tells me and i have to tell him i don't like him back it's going to ruin everything. like the last time i rejected a guy i was like "oh well... i like you but i don't want to date until high school" because i liked him as a friendddd but i didn't want to be rude... and the time before that i told the guy i liked him back and then made my friend text him that it was a lie, and i still feel so bad because i should definitely have not done that. and the time before that i told the guy that "we're to young to like people" so like i'm really mean when it comes to turning guys down but i don't know how to do it nicelyyy. it would be so easy to just tell Trumpet that i don't like guys in that way. but there are many problems with that because one, i think he's homophobic, or at least i know he's really religious and i don't think he'd like to hang out with a queer person; and two, if he's not homophobic, i know his first response would be "so you're gay?" and like i'm not but then he'd be like "well if you're not gay why don't you like guys?" and just ugh my romantic orientation is so hard to explain like i've likes guys in the past but now i can't even imagine myself with a guy. all the other genders yes, but not guys. idk why. unless they're fictional or celebrities lol and i know that sounds really weird but i found a post that kind of explains it so i'll put that here
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just pretend it says omni instead of bi lol. but yeah so i don't know what to say to Trumpet but still stay friends with him and not have it be awkward. i'm just bad at social interactions i need help. and like i know if anyone finds out he likes me i will never hear the end of it ever. so yeah help por favor (: also i hope you have a great night <3
