so i had high school band placement auditions today.
they went terrible.
i cried, AGAIN!!!! during the audition!!!! i literally couldn't play the ending at all because of it. i told myself last time that i would never do it again, but i did. ):
i just know i didn't get in, which is fine- i don't really care about that-but i do care that my band teacher will be so disappointed in me. he was really upset last time i think, and the fact that i did it again is not g o o d.
it was very very bad. so bad that i let you-know-who hug me, and you know how i feel about him touching me.
i was really really nervous and i literally played worse today than i did when i first ever sight read the music.
fortunately i didn't have a panic attack, but i did have an anxiety attack- which lead to the crying- which lead to the inability to play.
random people were coming up to me and trying to make me feel better, which was really nice, but it didn't really work at all.
i just ended up embarrassing myself more by opening up to them.
and i'm sure my band teacher will actually murder me tomorrow.
ugh
it's fine though it's all just great.
•••
i got a journal yesterday but i don't know what to write in it. i seem to have a problem of collecting journals but never actually using them.
any ideas on what to write on the first page?
(please help (; i'm desperate)
•••
i have a spanish test tomorrow, which i'm not at all prepared for. like i've been studying a lot but i still can't remember anything and u g h
u g h
u g h
u g h
i really want to just crawl into a little
hole and stay there away from reality until spring break.
i hope you guys had a better day than i did though lol. sleep well tonight, and good luck on any tests or quizzes tomorrow!
YOU ARE READING
ENTRIES ▹ misc.
Random❝ i love lin manuel miranda; he's my baby ❞ just some rants from a smol bean i started this when i was in eighth grade so it's very cringey i'm sorry
