Hello everyone. So yeah I'm sorry about the trial scene, I know it was bad haha but here is chapter 32. Enjoy.
-Eliza xoxo
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I was inconsolable. I cried and sobbed until I felt numb and my throat was too sore to even be able to mutter a word. Or maybe it was because I didn’t want to mutter a word.
Adam was found guilty and went to jail, and I don’t even care for how long…at least he paid for what he did. I think he deserved more than just years in prison. He deserved to suffer, he deserved to die and rot in hell.
Tom had to go to set the next day, leaving only mom and Jazmine to console me.
Adam was also found guilty and accused of murder in the first degree, at first my mind completely went blank and then I realized it. A part of me seemed to die along with my brother. Tobias was the best, if anyone deserved to receive a bullet to the head and bleed to death on the floor it was me. He was the best person in the world and he gets a bullet shot through his skull. Adam was tried with rape and murder in the first degree, but that didn’t make me feel better.
Tom didn’t show up to his funeral because it was the same day as the release of the Thor 2 movie. I watched it only because Tobias wanted me to. I cried through the entire movie, especially when I watched Thor holding the body of his brother as he died.
Tom didn’t come back for the last two months of my senior year. I kept to myself and tried really hard to raise my grades but if anything, they got worse. I applied to many colleges but I haven’t heard back from them.
Charlie and Jazmine are still together which has kept her going every day and I’m glad because I don’t think I am in any shape to help her. They are both acting like my parents now, hanging out with me all day during school. Mom takes care of me after school when Jazmine goes to Charlie’s.
If I didn’t have my mom with me I think I would have snapped by now. She’s also still grieving but just like Jaz, they are moving past it. I seem to be stuck with my pain. I miss my brother more than I can describe. He was just…he was the best person in the world. I loved him so much, I can’t even think of him without breaking down and crying again.
I took out the box of pictures from my closet. I hung the family pictures around my room, keeping my favorite one with Tobias right beside my bed.
I hurt when I remember sneaking out to the movies and parties with him. I remember his laugh and the way he would squint when he knew I was lying. I remember how he always took care of me. And then I start to cry when I realize that he died because he was taking care of me. He took the bullet for me…
I scream and break stuff when the pain becomes too intense. I scream and curse at God for taking him away from me.I need my brother back, I need him with me! I want him back! I want him back with me!
I start to think about all the what-if’s too. What if I had died instead of him? He was a better student than me, he was a better sibling than me, and he was a better child than me. So why did he have to die?! Why?! What if we hadn’t been at Ally’s house? What if I had never dated Adam again after the accident? Then I would still have my brother with me.
I go visit his grave every day and cry and tear at the grass lying beside his tombstone. I hug my knees to my chest until it gets dark and then I walk home.
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So....yes I did kill Tobias. I don't know if you already knew this from the last chapter, I was trying to sort of hint that out. Thank you for reading. (It's not over yet btw >.<)
-Eliza xoxo
