✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

23 | can't live without him

23 | can't live without him

 He's going to figure this out. I know he will. He has to.

You can't just let go of the person you love. You have to fight for them.

I can't get Axel's words out of my head. I stare at him though, without a clue of what expression I'm holding. My heart pounds faster than usual, my palms become sweaty, and my lips feel numb. I don't know what to do, or what to say. He just admitted that giving me up was a mistake. I mean, I understood why he did it, but I didn't think I'd ever hear him say he regretted it. 

Fortunately, Jem doesn't seem to care. She looks at her brother and sighs, "maybe I'll ask if Owen can come over." 

"Uh, no," Axel looks away from me. His face is pink too. "You're not allowed to have a boyfriend until you're in high school, missy." 

Jem grunts and mutters, "we'll see about that." 

Axel gasps and glances at me, and I try to conceal a smile. He looks at me in disbelief. I shrug. We grow up fast. Plus, Jem is a good little girl. She's not going to get into any trouble. My parents are good for her, especially with what she's been through already. She'll turn out just fine, boyfriend or no boyfriend. 

Jem turns to me after she has sipped all the milk from her bowl. "Can I watch Phineas and Ferb, Avi?" She asks, smiling up at me innocently. I nod my head and she runs excitedly out of the kitchen, and into the living room. The TV turns on seconds later.

I shouldn't have let her go. The kitchen gets drastically more awkward when she leaves, and Axel won't fucking take his beautiful grey eyes off of me. I smile at him softly, glancing back down at my bowl. 

"Have you accepted your offer of admission yet?" He asks me suddenly. 

I glance back up. "What?"

He licks his lips. "Uh, for university?"

I nod quickly. "You?"

He looks away, playing with what's left of his cereal. "Yeah," he draws. 

"Seattle?"

He looks up and sighs. "Yeah."

I smile softly again. "You nervous?"

He seems a little shocked by my question. "Uh," he bites down on his lip and shrugs. "Maybe a little. I already have residence and I've been emailing a guy about a volunteer position at his boxing academy. I just need to find a job," he nods, leaning onto the counter again, "and I think I'll be fine." 

I instinctively reach across the counter and take his hand into mine. He looks down at our hands together, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle as I smooth my thumb over his palm. "If you ever need help, my parents are here for you. All they have to do is transfer money into your bank account if you need it. Don't let that be a worry, okay?"