Story 4 - Nightmares ch2

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"You think I'd leave your side, baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that.

'Cause I'll tell you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me."

Steve dresses himself in a black tank and gray striped, loose-fitting boxers. His cheeks flush on why he specifically choose the baggiest boxers he owns to wear tonight. Running his fingers through his hair, he views himself in a full body mirror positioned on his bedroom wall. He tugs at the bottom of his shirt, wondering if it should overlap his boxers, or just set above. Frustrated about not knowing which way looks better, and why he even cared, he leaves it be. Striding to his bed, Steve leans forward, landing face first on his pillow. When was he supposed to go to Bucky's room?

By now, Tony and Bruce have left to work on some project -- they talk about how wonderful this project is constantly and that they can't wait to get back to it, yet they never reveal any results of said project; Steve assumes it's something too advanced for his early twentieth century mind to understand and thinks nothing of it -- and Natasha has snuck off into Clint's room. This always gives Steve a good chuckle: Nat makes it quite obvious where she is going, despite the fact that she tries to hide it. One of the greatest assassins in the entire world can't even be discreet about her own relationship.

Steve reminisces about one of the more recent times he caught her leaving her bedroom late at night. He had been working out after hours and was just getting to bed. Bumping into Nat in the hallway, he asked her where she was going. She merely fumbled a sentence out that was something along the lines of, "I was, I had to go to, I was just getting a midnight snack." Steve remembered arching an eyebrow at her, sure that had the lighting been better, her cheeks would have been bright pink, if not completely red. The darkened hallway could not, however, hide the fact that she wasn't wearing much. If Steve preferred her, he would have been stumbling across a reply, but he easily said alright and continued walking past her. No doubt, Natasha was very attractive, but wasn't Steve's type. A few minutes later he heard her shut Clint's door and start talking to the archer. Steve remembered briefly wondering if Nat thought everyone was impaired of hearing, not just Clint.

Funny how while the world saw the Avengers as a fearless group of perfect warriors. While that could hold truth, they were regular people. Granted, they share life experience unlike most, they're still human beings that feel emotions, like everyone else. Natasha has a difficult time with trust, but she still tries to maintain a romantic relationship with Clint. She even has been trying to be a friend to the rest of them. She's not the best at it, but is improving. Clint hasn't had the easiest life, but still knows how to have a good time, and can keep a smile on his face. And much like most grown men, he doesn't enjoy listening. That or he's just plain forgetful and never turns his aids on. Steve was never entirely sure what it was, and anytime he asked, Clint never heard him.

Then there's Tony and Bruce. Two peas in pod; both geniuses but dangerous. Tony was the perfect asshat and Bruce was a gentle giant, as much as he tries. They seem to work well together regardless of it all. Often disagreements occur but that never stops the two from collaborating at night. Steve enjoyed their company as friends, but could never get up to speed with all the scientific and medical jargon. He also didn't appreciate Tony's never ending sassiness, but as he's been thinking: Tony isn't perfect. None of them were. They were people. It's exhausting being a hero all the time. The peaceful times like this gave them all a chance just to be. The Captain often relishes in this relaxation, especially since he's spending it with Bucky. He does wish Sam would visit more often though.

Glancing at his clock, he noted it was only 11. He is suddenly curious as to how Bucky worked out his sleeping schedule. The Captain felt rather tired himself, but he disregarded this, however, because he didn't want to go to sleep in case he slept longer than normal. It was quite the experience not waking up screaming or in a sweat last night. Never in all the years Captain America has been an Avenger had he gotten a single good night of sleep. The struggle of sleeping had been so difficult and surreal it was abnormal to feel well rested. All this time Steve had relied on the adrenaline of petrifying situations to keep him awake enough to chose fight instead of flight. It was as if feeling good was wrong, and feeling this nagging sense of exhaustion and sadness was just how it was. How it would always be. Perhaps Steve should be seeing the shrink Nat told him to see. Or...was it a shrink? Honestly whenever Nat told him to see anyone, it was usually a woman for a date, which he always vehemently denies. Besides, no therapist could help him because even they couldn't understand that kind of life experience. Growing up in the 20s and 30s, fighting a war in the early 40s, and picking up again in 2011? No one would understand, except Bucky. After some time passes, lying in the darkness, Steve decides to go to Bucky's room. He figured since Bucky asked him to come back, he wouldn't be pissed if Steve woke him up, right? Finding the red-starred door, he wastes no time softly knocking, "Bucky? You awake?"

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