He's the bad boy. I'm the good girl.

Normal again.

(Songs for this chapter is another from my baby Shawn Mendes with Lost In Japan, Why Don't We Trust Fund Baby (they are also my babies) Sabrina Carpenter ft Jonas Blue with Alien and lastly Jack and Jack (my other babies) with I Don't Know.)

Chapter forty nine.

It has been two weeks since I was discharged from hospital, one week since Xavier was discharged from hospital. Like I said I kept my promise of visiting everyday at the hospital, even if his mother kept giving me stinking looks every time I came by. I would come in the morning because well Xavier would blow my phone up with texts and calls, begging me to come, even know I was coming for either the afternoon or the night visit. So some days I would be visiting three times a day, sometimes two times a day, but sometimes one because on some days I can't get out of bed, my body is either to tired or that in the morning of the day I didn't wake up in a good mood because of a nightmare I previously had.

Ever since I got home I have had four nightmares in the past two weeks. Mum manage to make an appointment with Doctor Hannha O'Brien, the doctor I was supposed to see before everything happend. Within her busy schedule she manages to fit me every week, for an hour or two a day into her comforting office to talk about everyting, and when I say everything I mean everything. The dark thoughts, the past, my mental health, my emotional health, Xavier, the present and the future. So basically everything. 

You could say some things are going back to normal, like how everything in the house, all the routines I used to do for myself and others are slowly coming back, and how I go out the back now, not as scared as I was before. But for safer options dad have hired twenty four seven security guards to watch over everything. I see at least five of the security men wearing all black around the property, I could look out my balcony windows and there would be one patrolling the back garden.

Today is the day I finally am going to visit Xavier in his house, since he got discharged and went home I have not visit him, well because I am scared. Yes I know I visited him the hospital but I knew there were security around, but I just didn't feel comfortable to leave my house and go to his just yet, I needed time. So many horrible memories happened there, but then so many amazing memories happened there is well. The only time I ever really leave my house was to go see Doctor Hannah O'Brien or to go outside for fresh air, but today I am going to be strong and brave and finally visit Xavier at his house. And for once without Chase being by my side, every session I have had with Doctor Hannah O'Brien Chase has waited in the waiting area for me, he has been in my house almost everyday, even know I beg him to go home, he will not leave my side. Just like Oreo, once he saw me he as not left my side since.

I just finished a session with Doctor Hannah O'Brien and now I am currently in my dads car as he drive me to Xavier's, today I asked Chase not to come with me because I needed to go on my own, I needed to do this for myself. I had a nightmare again last night, and it was far worse than any other I have had, it was my fourth one within the two weeks I have been home.

They all start the same, me and Xavier are at the lake, sitting at the picnic blanket when my phones goes off, the same text messages Isaac sent to me, saying that the lives of Johnson and Robbers are on my hand, but instead of a video of them being sent to me, a video of them actually being killed right in front of me happens. I stand frozen in my spot as usual, my voice muted, not heard at all as I watch Xavier stand and defend himself and I from Isaac, Isaac shoots Xavier once, twice then three more times, I scream and shout in my mind but no one can hear me as I watch Xavier fall to the floor and bleed to death. And then it normally ends with me being shot and myself gasping for air as I toss about in my bed, screaming for help.