Facing Him

Chapter 33- Ashley Davis and Morgan Sage

There is not much to tell about my next two lives as Ashley Davis and Morgan Sage. Both were really short and just worsened my mental health.

14 Year old Ashley Davis
It's been a year since Carlyle found us. We were able to settle down again and Stefano found a cool job at an art museum.

I refuse to make any friends because I know that the minute I settle down, we are going to have to run again. It's not fair. Why can't I ever be happy? I wouldn't wish this kind of life on my worse enemy.

At school, I make sure that everyone stays clear me. Stefano doesn't like it because I cause chaos in order for people to stay away but it's my method of coping.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about when he's going to come for us. He killed mom and now he's destroying me mentally. Stefano doesn't understand. Everyday goes by and he acts as if everything is okay and like we didn't just run away from a murderer who is our father.

"What's wrong Aide? Why are you doing this to yourself?" Stefano asks as I have my meltdown. I just laugh in his face and start scratching again.

"What's wrong is that I can't stop thinking about what happened and you're just acting as if we didn't see anything." I snap, he sighs. "Aide, you can't think about it-"

"How can I not think about something that has been tearing me up for years?! Carlyle killed mom and then he killed Rose! I could've stopped it! I could've stopped him-"

"There's nothing you could've done Aide." He says sympathetically, I get angrier. "Bullshit! I could've seen the signs, I could've done something. I could've told somebody what he did to us! I could've helped them. I could've saved them." I start panicking and scratching as I think of that night. The events just keep playing in my head over and over.

"Aide... calm down." Stefano tries to touch my hand but I pull away and freak out more. "Don't go up there. I said no!" I shout, recalling memories of that night.

"Aide you're scaring me-"

"Kill her or I'll kill him!" I shout again, holding a knife to my wrists, Stefano shakes his head. "Stop it! This isn't you!"

"I can't. Don't you see? This is never going to end unless I make it end. I need to! I need this!"

The last thing I remember from that day was blacking out after I cut myself and waking up in the hospital. He found us through my medical records.

14 Year old Morgan Sage
I didn't even go to school as Morgan Sage because of what happened before I was hospitalized. Stefano set me up with a therapist and I was homeschooled all of the three months we were actually in New York.

"I don't want to see a therapist! I'm not crazy!" I shout angrily, Stefano shakes his head. "Of course you're not. But you can't keep hurting yourself! I almost lost you back there and you don't even seem to care!" She shouts back, I roll my eyes.

"Maybe I would be better off dead. Did you ever think of that? I could've stopped it. It should've been me and not her. I should've taken that gun and put it to my head. It should've been me! Not her!" Tears start falling down my face as he shakes his head, grabs my hands and shows me my now bandages wrists.

"Look at these! This needs to stop. Your bad thoughts are why I'm taking you to Dr. Green. She can at least try to help-"

"NOBODY CAN HELP ME!" I shouted so loud that my voice became hoarse. "You're going to Dr. Green weather you like it or not. You need to talk about your issues, so get your ass into the car and shut the fuck up. I am here to help you get better and I intend to do so." I was shocked, he's usually think nice flowers and rainbows kind of guy. I guess I never realized how moms death effected him as well.

"Hello Morgan, I'm Dr. Green. Today we are going to do what I usually do with my patients to start the session. We are going to do this with ink drawings. I am going to show you some drawings, and you are going to tell me what you see. Next visit I am going to analyze your responses and explain on how we are going to help you get better. Sound good?"

"I don't want to be here. But if all I have to do is what you just said then fine. Let's start." She took out a bunch of square paintings and asked me what I thought they were.

"Blood" She shouldered me the next. "A scared person." Next one. "Crow." Next one. "Knives." And the final one. "Murder."

As I left her office she looked sad. She seems smart so she probably already interpreted my emotions based off of everything. I would be scared too.
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"Morgan, I've analyzed your interpretations of the paintings and I have to say I'm quite impressed. Usually kids your age see bunny rabbits and rainbows, but you've turned it to a new level. I can really tell that you've gone through something horrible. So let's start at the beginning-"

"You do realize I'm not actually gonna admit anything to you right? The reason I'm here in the first place is because I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I tend to keep my mouth shut from now on."

It was a really long session. She tried to get everything out of me but I just wouldn't budge. That was until my very last visit with her.
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"So tell me Morgan, how are things?" Dr. Green asked, I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Just peachy miss! How are things with you?"

"These sessions aren't about me-"

"I know. These sessions are for you to get paid to tell me how crazy I am. Well I'm not crazy, I just had a moment and you would too if you were in my situation." I snapped, she sighed and told me to take a seat.

"You're not crazy Morgan. Tell me what's been going on." She says calmly, I shake my head. "I can't tell you because if I tell you then you'll be dead in a couple of days."

"What do you mean Morgan?" She asks apprehensively, I laugh and plop on the chair across from her. "People die when I tell them things. I get to know people and let them in and the boom their dead. I'm not crazy, I'm just spitting facts. You want me to open up but I can't because I don't want you to die."

Her eyes went wide. I could tell she was nervous. "Morgan, you're scaring me..."

"You should be scared. I'm running from my past and it's about to catch up to me. No amount of therapy is ever going to make me forget what I've done."

"What have you done?" She asks, I sigh while looking at my nails. "I've hurt, I've lost and most painfully I've killed. My spirit is dead and no amount of therapy is ever going to fix that." I walked out of her office without another word and got into Stefano's car. We drove to our next state to start our new lives.