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Chapter I

Cover by:  @lyspynen  

Chapter 1

2 years, 10 months, and 19 days later

L i n d a

I watch as she takes notes. Her green eyes trailing from me to her notebook, which lays perfectly on her lap. She makes no move in starting a conversation, and neither do I. I guess I'm used to this, sitting still and keeping quiet while she writes things she claims she knows about me.

Things that now describe me and the reasons I'm here for. What she doesn't know is that on the outside I may look okay, back to my usual self as anyone would put it, but in reality, I'm not. I don't think I'll ever be no matter the days, weeks or years I've been here, I'm still the same.

I still cry when I wake up, I still see him in my dreams; I still see my parents crying and walking away only to never return. I still see and live what happened that day over and over again. The cuffs, the trial, evidence that seemed to be against me, the cold expressions from everyone around me, from those who watched me grow, but she doesn't need to know that or anyone else for that matter.

She finally clears her throat, drawing my attention back to her.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" I keep my expression closed off as I shake my head. What more does she want me to say. Every single word that has passed my lips is written down in her precious notebook. Can't see just look at that and draw her conclusions. Its not like anything changed.

She lets out a sigh at my silent response.

"Well if that's it, I should get going. I don't want to worry Rose when she sees I'm not in my room." 

I give her a brief smile and rise from my chair, but I just shes not having it because not a second later she places her notebook on the table beside her and leans forward, grabbing my hands that lay on my knees.

I try not to shift at the contact, but by the way her hold loosens shes clearly noticed.

"Linda, I'm not going to force you to open up, but I need to make sure you're okay, and in order to do that you need to let me in. At least a bit." 

So she has noticed.

"With all due respect, I'm fine. I don't think there's anything to talk about." I explain.

She doesn't buy it, and her next words are proof of it. "Let's not forget about that time I found you curled into a ball in the corner of your room." I flinch at the memory. One that to this day still hunts me.

Before I can protest, she speaks again. "I know that happened months ago- years now, but things like memories and images" she point's to her head "- don't go away that easily."

I can't meet her eyes, damn it she's right, and I hate that she is. She lets go of one of hands and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a photo and handing it to me.

My fingers slightly shake as I grab it, and my eyes begin to water, causing my vision to become somewhat blurry.

There he is, just like this morning, just like every night, and every time I see him the reaction is always the same.

His brown hair messy as always, that smile that he carried along with those brown eyes that would melt anyone's walls. Except here, he looks younger just like the girl standing beside him, me.

I can feel her eyes on me as I take in the photo, "You still miss him, and that's completely normal."

My grip tightens a bit, "don't close yourself off, Linda."