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Chapter XII

Song: Can you hold me by NF ft. Britt Nicole

Chapter 12

U n k n o w n 

I sink into the bed's soft covers and glance at the ceiling.

"Twice, you've done this twice now."

What the hell are you doing? Get up and do something about it then! The voice in my head specks, one that's been taunting me for years ever since she showed up, and now its decided to make an appearance once again...

"How do you expect to keep him by your side if you're not doing anything. You're the one letting these things happen- twice."

I quickly sit up as the memory from today comes barging in mind, causing my knuckles to whiten as I tighten my fists. 

--

She stands by her locker, not doing much, and just as I'm about to approach her. I see him come up behind her.

What the fuck is he doing?

Quickly, I lean against the wall- out of sight- and watch.

Her back suddenly stiffens at his presence and when she turns her brows narrow, as if expecting someone else.

"Derek? What are you doing here?" My thought exactly.

"I came to check on you. You've been acting strange lately."

"You don't have to." Yep, you didn't. "Besides, I'm fine." He doesn't seem to buy it.

"What's wrong? Is it about what happened Saturday?"

Saturday. Of course- the fucking party.

The anger from that day rushes again. I guess she doesn't learn does she.

She doesn't respond and just when I'm about to make my presence known and interrupt this sick view. He hugs her, resting his chin on top her head while the other creases her hair.

I take a step back and narrow my eyes on them, especially, on her hands which are wrapped around him. My fist immediately clench and I can feel my heart begin to race. Yet unlike Saturday, this seems more intimate and I hate it.

I can already feel the storm rise within me. Move.

"Thank you," She mutters. "I guess I needed that," She slightly pulls away and stares up at him.

Fuck, I can't see his face. I move a bit away from the wall and the second I do his lips make contact with her forehead.

My body goes stiff. No....

"I should get going. My friends are probably looking for me."

"Yeah, maybe you should." They slowly pull away from each other. And I take that as my cue to leave.

You're going to lose him....

"What is it?" Derek asks.

"I thought I saw someone watching us for some reason." I quickly hurry down the hall and take an exits close by, gently closing the door behind me.

"You're going to regret this."

As I keep walking away, a smirk suddenly plays on my lips. At least I was closing to knocking you over at the party.

--

I knew something was off about her, ever since my first encounter with her. I truly believed she would stay away from him, guess I was wrong. I grip the ends of my hair, and my eyes roam around my room until they land on a bookshelf located in the corner.

All it took was that one action to make me feel weak, angry, and unstable. Including what happened with both of them at that dumb party. But I needed to see that, I needed to know.

I slowly get off the bed and walk to the shelf. 

My throat tightens as I tentatively reach for the frame, my fingers brushing against the cold glass separating my fingers from the photo.

My heart feels heavy, but I ignore it as I turn to the wall with the calendar pinned to it. Only a few more days until his memorial ceremony. A day my walls break and my emotions sky rock.

"She's the reason I lost you. If she would have never shown up you would still be here." I grip the frame closer to my chest before I set it back on the shelf and walk over to my nightstand where my phone lays.

Only one way to find out if my assumptions are correct. 

I dial a number I know too well, one I memorized but never called- one that took a while to figure out if it was the correct one, and wait.

"Hello, Mount Ridge Asylum this is Rose, how can I help you?"

"Yes, I wanted to know how one of your patients was doing."

"Can I have the name please?"

"Linda, Linda Smith."

The secretary stays quiet, the sound of her nails against the keyboard automatically stopping, "Umm... I'm sorry but, I can not give that information. Can I have your na-"

"Please, I want to know if she's all right that's all I'm asking." I interrupt, slowly losing my patience. The woman sighs "She's... she's doing fine, but can I please have your-" I end the call and shove my phone into my back pocket.

That's all I need.