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Chapter XXVIII

Chapter 28

A m a n d a

Every step I take down feels like memories. A stage in life. For me, reaching the end of the stairs means letting myself free from an identity I should have never been molded into. Someone that was never supposed to exit. 

As I head downstairs, I feel everyone's gaze on me, yet I don't dare look at them. Instead, I glance over at Brenda who's eyes are wide as a small smile tugs on her lips. 

I gaze back down finally reaching the bottom step and pause, my breathing quickening with every second going by.

No one says anything, and this only gets me more nervous than I already was. I wait for the yelling, the shouts, even the hits but nothing only silence. 

-

"Linda.." I hear Luke's voice full of confusion-pain even. Yet I still can't bring myself to look up. Even though I've seen countless times in the past his broken state. Maybe a part of me doesn't want to see. It'll only make me realize that I'm the reason he looks and sounds like this- hurt.

Come on Linda.

"I'm-"

Suddenly I feel the air knocked out of me causing me to grip the railing if not tighter. Arms wrap around my frame slightly tugging me back and forth while trying to take the life out of me. I'm still for a second before attempting to put my arms around them with an equal amount of desperation.

My body feels lighter as if a weight lifted off my shoulder which only causes me to grip my friends around me tighter. I shift and see Brenda over's Sarah's shoulder, tears streaming down her cheek and hands clasped in front of her along with her parents who stand behind her. Smiling while heading to the kitchen- the sound of the back door opening and closing behind them.

I nod for her to join and she doesn't waste a second. She runs towards us almost making us all fall over with the impact. Wouldn't be the first time.

Who knows how long we stay like that before Luke pulls away and looks at me closely. His brows slightly narrowing, eyes clouding with tears and lips trembling.

Slowly he puts his hands on the sides of my face. His fingers grazing over my cheeks almost like he's making sure I'm standing in front of him.

"All along... it...it was you" He stumbles on his words and I can only nod and smile, but this moment doesn't last for long. The doorbell rings and my body tenses under Luke's touch.

He's here.

Brenda is the first to step away, her gaze on the front door. The rest pull away from me looking at Brenda to the door and back to me. I turn, my back facing the front entrance, this is the part I most fear I guess- waiting for Derek, hoping that he would show up with my friends so I would only have to do this once, but of course, the universe seems to be against me once more as I hear the doorbell ring again. 

Alexander puts a hand on my shoulder trying to reassure, but I can't seem to relax. Not until all of this is completely over and by doing so, I need to tell Derek. He deserves to know the truth.

I hear the front door open followed by the sound of footsteps.

Luke grabs my hand, and the rest stand beside me. Their attention on the visitor who's making his way towards the group.

"Do you want us to stay?" Asks Sarah glancing at me briefly. I shake my head. I need to do this alone- I have too.

"What's going on?" I lower my eyes letting out a breath.

"We'll be in the kitchen," Alexander says ignoring Derek who's eyes are burning in the back of my neck. One by one they make their way towards the kitchen but not before glancing at me and giving me an encouraging smile. Luke hesitates at first, walking back to me and planting a kiss on my cheek before leaving.

Once they're gone, soft footsteps echo again- stopping beside me this time.

"Amanda?" he says his voice laced with insecurity something I've never heard in him.

Gathering all the courage I have I force myself to face him- looking up at him. His face drains of color, lips parting, hands clenching to fists.

"Is this a joke?" He says, his eyes scanning every inch of my face down to my outfit and back up- meeting my hazel eyes once more.

I shake my head.

"Linda you're... here... ?"

"Yes, I am," I say as calmly as I can.

He shakes his head, hands making their way to his hair "All along you were here, and you didn't say anything?" I try not to flinch due to his voice slightly rising.

"Do you know how much we suffered... How...how I did. I thought you..." I didn't let him finish. I step towards him putting my arms around him tightly burying my head on his chest. He doesn't respond at first, his body tensing- heart racing until finally, he gives in.

"I'm sorry," I mutter in his chest.

His hold on me tight's as if not wanting to let me go- as if I'm going to disappear any minute, something I'm not planning on anytime soon.

He pulls away a little and what he does next melts every awful thought and pain, and is replaced with an emotion I haven't felt in a while. Love.

A different type of love. A love that is beyond what friends feel- I need this, I need him, and this kiss is something I've wanted for what feels like forever.

He kisses me with so much love. His lips moving against mine gently, yet hungry, controlling, yet demanding. In other words, perfect. His arms are holding and pulling me closer to him- as if that's even possible while my hands find their way to his neck and hair- tugging him down to my height.

When we pull away, trying to regain our breathing, he puts his forehead against mine and trails his hand down my arm till he reaches my hand intertwining our fingers together.

I glance at our locked hands and let out a shaky laugh. This doesn't seem real, but when I move back and look into his grey eyes I see a new light in them, and I notice the smile placed on his lips.

"This is real" he whispers.

He suddenly lifts me and starts spinning me around, causing another laugh to escape my lips.

"All along," He says

"All along" I repeat.

Our moment is soon interrupted by loud cheers and claps. I jump at the sound and turn to see everyone looking between Derek and me. All clapping and smirking only Luke isn't clapping or smirking, but I catch a small smile on his lips before it disappears. At least he's controlling his emotions and not glaring at Derek like before.

 As soon a Derek sets me on my feet, everyone approaches us jumping on top of one another and covering me in hugs and kisses.

"Welcome back... Linda."