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Chapter XXIII

Chapter 23

A m a n d a

His fingers roam on my arm as goosebumps rise over my body. He pauses for a second before reaching beside him and grabbing a cover, place it on my already warm body. 

I don't protest but welcome it and snuggle closer to him. 

All along I thought I craved my friends affection- another body, but sitting here now makes me realize that this comfort is different from Brenda's hugs, Luke's hand, Alexanders smiles or Sarah and Jessica's laugh and comments.  No, this feels deeper and it feels right. He feels right. 

 A small part of me tells me to pull away, but I can't bring myself to. Especially when Derek needed me. The guilt that I felt from bringing back old memories and reopening wounds made me drop any once of anger and hurt I felt before. It didn't help that he was fighting back tears at the mention of his parents. At the room right down the hall he can't bare to stay in for more than a few minutes. 

So that was the reason he left. He had lost his parents. Did anyone know. Did Jacob ever know?

I finally look up at him, and my heart starts to race again. 

If only I didn't have all these problems consuming me. If only things were different. However, I need to keep him and everyone safe but all I can think about right now is him being this close to me again. 

I feel something for him. Truly feel something/ More than a simple crush and there is no denying it anymore. I quickly realized that when he stopped sitting beside me in class. When he stopped showing up in the cafeteria or school, and when he accused me. And this new feeling developing is something I thought was never going to happen since Jacob- my heart beating for someone else.

Is that wrong? Is being with your dead boyfriends best friend the right thing? For wanting to be happy but knowing the risks behind it all? Am I willing to take the chance?

I see him look down at my lips while getting closer, and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me. Instead he presses his lips to my forehead, and I can't help but feel disappointed, but it's for the best. Jacob is on my priorities right now. I need to find the killer. Not discover the taste of Derek's lips against mine. But it's hard when you realize you're starting to feel something for someone and not just anyone but Derek Miller, Jacobs best friend. 

**********

"Thanks for the clothes," I call out through the bathroom door as I quickly change into my now dry ones.

I step out fully clothed. Derek leaning on the wall across from me, a smile on his lips "It's no problem."

I had him the pajamas, but he shakes his head with arms still crossed over his chest. "Keep them."

We make our downstairs and out the front door to my car parked on the driveway.

"Thanks for listening to me" I hear as I unlock the door and place the clothes in the backseat.

"Thanks for trusting me" I respond closing the door and face him again. Without a second thought I throw my arms around him, laying my head on the center of his chest, hearing his heart and feeling his warmth through his this shirt- catching him off guard.

I pull back before he could gets a chance to wrap his arms around me and glance back up at him. "I have to go,"

"Goodnight and be careful. Call me when you get home?" he says while rubbing his eyes.

I nod. Remembering his phone number which is now in my contacts list.

It's only 10:30 and I believe Brenda will be waiting for me due to the countless messages she's been sending causing my phone to ding with each one.

Where are you?

Are you home?

I'll be home in a while. Mom's car got a flat or something and Dad is with her. 

Hello...?

Just call or text me when you get home.

I wave goodbye as I pull out the driveway and onto the road.

---

As I pass the trees and houses, getting closer to Brenda's home. I can't help but feel like something is wrong.  A bad feeling almost. I look around and check the rear-view mirror but only darkness surrounds me expect for the lamp post which does little to illuminate the road. There are no cars around, and my hands begin to slightly tremble. I take a deep breath. Calm down, Linda. 

When I arrive home. I immediately notice all the lights are off and Brenda's car missing. I guess she and her parents still haven't arrived. I step out, box in hand and keys in the other.

The outside light turns on as I reach the door, helping me pick the key. Suddenly I hear a car pull up behind me followed by a bright light reflecting on the windows and footsteps. I relax a little, at least she's finally home. 

"Brenda look before you yell at me or whatever let me explain. I was about to send you a message-" A rag covers my mouth and nose.

I struggle, dropping the box in the process, and try to fight back but it's no use- I can't. The hold on my waist tightens along with the hand pressing the rag.

Oh no..

"You got her?" A gruff voice hollers from a distance.

I can feel myself losing consciousness, but I try to fight it, and carefully make out his blond hair and brown eyes.

"Yeah" The guy clutching me answer's back.

 I feel tears in the back of my eyes. Not because of sadness but in anger and defeat. No, this can't be happening. Come on Linda. I tell myself. We can't give up, but I can already feel myself going weak.

 "I'm sorry" The guy behind me whispers in my ear "Please just breath it in and don't fight it," He pleads.

......