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Chapter XXI

Chapter 21

A m a n d a

I suck in a breath as I stare at the person standing before me.

He's not the man I remember. No, this person in front of me looks more refined. Well dressed up even if it's just in red shorts and a black shirt, which he now fills up. And his once black hair is now turning grey from the roots, but there is one thing out of place from this new image hes displaying. His brown eyes. They still look dull- lifeless. Alcohol not being the reason this time. 

The more I stare at him, I can't help but feel slight anger for what he made Jacob go through. Right now it seems easy to blame and point a finger for what happened.  He was the reason his son walked out this very front door without a second thought. Hes the one who chose the alcohol over him and his wife. Hes the reason they are both gone. Gone to different places. But hes not. He's just another piece in this mess up life I have going on right now. 

Yet now that I think of it as I stand before him. What am I supposed to do? Perhaps he knows nothing. Meaning another dead end.

"Can I help you?" He asks, his voice deep and gruff.

Jacob would have sounded like him.

"umm...Hi, I'm here to ask you some questions?" His eyes narrow slightly. Probably wondering what an eighteen-year-old girl is doing at his front door. 

Here goes nothing. 

"It's me. Linda sir."

He tenses and takes a step back. Minutes or seconds go by as I wait for him to shut the door. To yell at me-  blame me for everything that has happened like almost everyone else.

He doesn't to that. Instead, he steps aside and gestures for me to come in.

I slowly step inside, almost expecting to see empty beer bottles lying around like before however I'm meet with the complete opposite. Everything is in its place and clean.  A new rug is lying on the newly waxed wooden floor, and the walls are painted and fixed to hide the holes and marks it used to display. Overall a little life restored.

"Take a seat" I sit on one of the couches. Keeping my eyes focused on his.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I shake my head.

He sits in front of me as his eyes roam my face. To the clothes I'm wearing down to my shoes before he meets my gaze again.

 "You look different." He says gesturing to my hair and face.

I nod. "I've been waiting for you."

What?

Upon noticing my confused expression, he starts to explain.

"I've been keeping tabs on you since the moment you stepped foot in that place."

"Oh" I wasn't expecting this. 

"Aren't you mad at me. Don't you despise me?" I ask . This can't be right. At any moment he's going to accuse me of murdering his only son. He has too. 

"No, because you didn't do it. You helped him, you were there when I wasn't and his mother walked away. When I was sober and drunk even I could see how much love you had for my son."

His hands form to fists as his eyes start to water, yet he does nothing to hide it.

"You weren't supposed to go through that."

"And you weren't either. No matter what type of problems you had" I whisper trying to control the light tremble in my voice.

His tears start to fall- his shoulder slightly shaking "you know there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my son. I think about him all the time, including his mother. If only I could go back and do things right."