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Chapter XXVII

Chapter 27

A m a n d a

 I can hear Brenda's soft voice from the kitchen, but I pay no attention to any word she says. My mind is elsewhere thinking of what's to come, how things will turn out. I feel my hands shake slightly with every scenario going through my head. How will my friends react to me being Linda and not Amanda like I made them believe? But I had my reasons. They have to understand that right? I slightly jump when I feel a hand grip my own, giving mine a gentle squeeze. Looking up, I see Brenda staring down at me, her eyes showing a glint of nervousness and concern.

"You okay?" she says taking a seat beside me on the couch.

I want to lie, to say that I'm perfectly fine and that it's going to be okay but what's the point.

I shake my head. "No" Her eyes soften, and for the first time since I've been out of the asylum, I admit what I feel out loud. "I'm scared and worried."

She runs a hand over my back "Why do you say that?"

"Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe we should have told them in the beginning."

"You know we couldn't. Even if you wanted to. Besides they'll understand- they have to," she says trying to reassure me. I take a deep breath. That's not the only thing that comes to mind, and by the look on Brenda's face she knows where my mind wandered off.

"It's also about him isn't it" I nod.

"I can call and tell them not to come" I shake my head. No. I'm not backing out anymore. They need to know who I am. It's time.

I run upstairs heading straight to my room and hurry to the bathroom. Carefully washing of every once of makeup off my face, and looking at the colors of mascara, foundation, and shadow mix together drain down the sink. I glance back up at the mirror and take off my contacts. I had gotten used to the blue eyes, but it feels nice having my brown eyes stare back at me. 

Then I put my hair into a messy bun making sure the roots of my natural color stand out against the black hair. Instead of seeing Amanda I see the old true me. Linda dressed in baggy sweats, a long white T-shirt. I smile at my old self and see tears streaming down my face. Of course, I don't look entirely the same as before, but they would recognize me as Linda before they notice that I have some traits of Amanda.

I hear the doorbell suddenly ring followed by loud voices all sounding worried and panicked. My heart starts to beat faster, and my hands start to feel sweaty. They're here.

"What happened what's wrong?" says Luke. His voice etched with panic.

By the sound of it, I believe its Jessica who speaks next.

"Yeah, we came as soon as possible."

I step out of my room and lean against the railing. No one notices me yet. I see Brenda talking to them trying to calm them down as they throw questions left to right. She finally gestures for them to sit down on the couch. Luke, Jessica, Sarah and Alexander all crowd on one couch ignoring the fact that there are other seats available and immediately giving her their attention. I breathe in a shaky breath as I notice someone missing, Derek.  I wanted them all here at once, but I guess that's not going to happen, and that only makes me more nervous than before.

"Brenda you sounded nervous over the phone what's wrong?" States Alexander, his hands gripping the edge of the couch.

"I know, but it's not that bad," Brenda says looking at each one of their faces.

"It's about Linda" she breaks out.  As soon as my name leaves her lips everyone tenses, hands clenching. 

"What about her? Is she okay?" says Luke getting on his feet.

Brenda shakes her head "Yes, she's fine but..." she trails off.

"But what," Alexander says getting up and standing beside Luke.

"She's here."

They look at each other then back at Brenda. Their eyes wide and quickly scanning the room.

"What? Where! As I here? In the same house?"

I guess that's my cue.

I take a deep breath and start heading downstairs, which quickly draws their gaze towards me.

"I'm right here." 

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