Aiyoo Ayyappa- MaNan FF

Chapter 27 Appearances matter?

"How can U be this dumb, Nandini??" Manik asked looking with an expression of disbelief at Nandini. 

"Manik...I was not scared of you...I was scared of your reaction when you see me...I was scared of myself. I cannot take the pain of rejection.. of being considered unimportant..' Nandini replied softly in a pleading tone. 

You were scared of my reaction? What about my reaction? I already knew you, Nandini.  We were not strangers. I spoke to you over phone more than once. Then why scared? Why scared of my reaction to you?' Manik asked with a confused look on his face. 

I was scared that you wouldn't like my appearance, Manik. I was scared that U would perhaps consider me too average by my looks. I'm so plain...I'm not fashionable..like Alya..Mukti..' Nandini replied biting her lips in an embarassed tone.

"That I wouldn't like your appearance??" Manik whispered looking away from Nandini..."once again appearance??" Manik's heart was filled with a strange anger which he never felt before. 

"Do you think I only go for looks, Nandini? Do you think I'm such a superficial person who falls for looks? Like seriously?? Don't you think U lost your logic and common sense? Have I seen your photo before speaking to you over phone? Have I continued to call back and forth because I fell for those beautiful large eyes, that shiny soft hair of yours, Nandini? Where the hell did you get such an idea? Have U totally lost it?' Manik asked suddenly raising his voice as his eyes shone with a new anger. His lips were vibrating with the anger as his eyes were looking aimlessly around. 

N..no, Manik! You are not superficial...but you know..I thought U have such a lot of pretty girls around you...beautiful fans, fashionable girls like Mukti and Alya  and even in ads U act with so many beautiful models' Nandini said softly. Nandini herself felt as if she was putting forth a million reasons to justify her actions, when Manik's reactions were saying a totally different story. 

So? So what? Do you think they are close to me? Wah! Kya logic hai!" Manik clapped his hands sarcastically "Models...Mukti, Alya, beautiful fans, co-stars... bahut saari ladkiyon ki line lagaa diye hai tumne Nandini..U are awesome..like seriously! So what if I like them? Do U feel I roam around with them, romance them all day and sing songs putting my arms around them and dream to marry one of them? Do U think I'm a flirt, Nandini?? Are U on drugs or something that U even got such a thought?" Manik asked rubbing his forehead in anger.  

"No Manik...I never felt that way about U...I always knew that U are not a flirt..but its just that U possibly are seeing a lot of beautiful girls...that...U will not notice me even when I try to make myself appear.. " Nandini said trying to calm down Manik but she herself was at a loss for words to explain herself. 

"Nandini...I'm a professional...a thorough professional. I do my job. If I have to sing my songs I do it, if I have to hug my co-star for an ad, I do it.  Have U ever seen me interacting with female fans much? Ya they surely are around me while I'm speaking in front of the camera during events, but I feel uneasy around them. I stay close to Mukti and Alya not because they are beautiful, but because they are my friends and we make some good music when we are together. I have to act in ads intimately with my co-stars for the sake of money and to increase popularity of Fab 5. All of them are a part of my professional side. But I have a side which is personal and you are part of my personal life, Nandini..' Manik replied taking two steps towards her. 

But still...am I not one among the many fans who admire Fab 5?  Among the fans there are prettier girls...I would be one among the unimportant fans of Fab 5? I would not have anything special...' Nandini whispered softly.

"Then U tell me Nandini! Shouldn't I also be feeling the same way towards you? I mean look at the way U spoke about me. If I remember it, U disliked me completely. Did I ever make a place in your heart? I'm not even second on your favourite list. Why do U even need my forgiveness? Do I even have a tiny place in your heart, Nandini? No.. I don't think so.." Manik asked turning away. 

"Manik..its not like that..." Nandini whispered trying to justify what she said. But she was unable to place her feelings in front of him. She didn't know what to say to him. She herself was not sure of what she felt for him. Was it a neutral feelings or a deep dislike or a like or something more? Nandini asked her heart..but her heart was silent just like her lips were no longer able to utter anything anymore. 

"I am not special..right?" Manik whispered looking at Nandini. Manik turned away as he whispered himself.."I know..I am not. That is the reason why I don't want to show the real Manik...that is why I don't want to give you a second chance...and that is exactly why I don't want to forgive U, Nandini and 2 minutes are already over". 

The rain was reducing and so was the passion in Manik's heart. He was cooling down...cooling down to the realization that Nandini perhaps didn't like him afterall. It was all his illusion. An illusion from which he is waking up. Nandini felt something slip off her fingers...was it a chance?

"Ayyappa...why such a feeling?" Nandini asked herself. But there was no answer. Ayyappa wanted Nandini to search and find the answer by herself. Will she find it? Will she grab a second chance?