Beat Of My Heart

Chorus (Six)

I took a deep, trembling breath and prepared myself to answer the phone, even though I knew the other person on the end of the line would know that I had been crying, my voice obviously thick with tears.

"Hello?" I asked timidly, hoping they wouldn't hear the ache in my body that I felt so deeply at that moment.  I was being weak, I knew I shouldn't have been.  I needed to suck it up and get over it.

I forced the ache down deep into the pit of my stomach until I could just barely remember that it was there and the voice on the other end of the phone began to speak.

"You don't sound fine, Red.  Tell me what's wrong," Sebastian implored and I let out a groan, wondering what he was doing wasting his time on me when he had plenty of beautiful celebrities surely at his beck and call.

"I can't," I choked out, afraid that if I unloaded my family drama on him he wouldn't want to be around me anymore.

"Can't or won't?" he asked, the anger in his voice sending shivers quaking down my spine.

I shifted a little in my bed.

"Both?" I said, stating it like a question.  I wasn't even really sure myself.

"Well try," he prompted me and I sighed out, just wanting to get the conversation over with so I could rest my tired body and mind.

"My parents divorce is just putting me in the middle of things, that's all..." I trailed off unconvincingly.

"Uh-huh," he responded, showing me that he actually wasn't convinced.

"Sebastian, what do you want from me?"

"Who says I want something from you?"

I stopped and thought about his remark for a moment.  He was right, he didn't have to want something from me just to talk to me. 

Did he want me to be his friend?  His bootycall?  Or even his girlfriend?!

I grimaced at that last thought.  I wasn't whole enough to be anyone's girlfriend, at least not for a long while.

"Everyone wants something from everyone, its just how life works...." I trailed off, my throat closing up as the all consuming pain in my chest overtook my will to speak.

"Okay, yeah you're right.  I do want something from you." 

He paused.  I held my breath.

"I want you to be happy," he finished and all conscious thought left my body.

Sebastian Jennings, who'd known me for less than two weeks, wanted me to be happy?  It just didn't make sense to me why he cared so much, so that's exactly what I planned to ask him.

At least, it was until my mother started knocking on my door.

"Thank you but I am perfectly happy.  So I'll talk to you later.  Goodnight," I said to him, promptly ending the call before he could protest.

The last thing I wanted was my mom worrying about me on the phone late at night with a boy.

She didn't wait for me to tell her to come in as she pushed my door slightly ajar and poked her head in, her usually perfectly coiffed faux blonde locks in a disarray from her nap on the couch downstairs.

"Who was that you were on the phone with?" she asked me, the compassionate look she once held now replaced with a permanent scowl of suspicion etched onto her face.

"Just Josie, she was texting me and said I seemed a little down so she called me to make sure I was alright," I lied effortlessly. The less my mother knew about what had really been going on, the better.