Elena's Fantasy Diaries

Damon Issues

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to The Vampire Diaries, TV show or books. However I decided to have a little play around with the characters (I would definitely like to play with Damon).

Warning for smut and bad language. Yeah, you know the drill already. ;)

Dear Diary

Why is my life so complicated? It's bad enough having Original vampires wanting my blood, but something inside of me is changing. I love Stefan and I will always love Stefan, but I can no longer deny I feel nothing for Damon. I don't know what the feelings are, or why I'm getting them, but I can't ignore them any longer.

I'd never had a truly violent thought towards another human being until the moment I saw Damon talking to Andie. But at that moment I had to hold myself together and not say or do anything stupid when we were in the restroom, fortunately uncle John interrupted us. I'm sure Damon must know something is different. All I want to do is touch him, and yesterday I did, he just looked at me totally confused. I keep wanting to kiss him and my eyes seem to be constantly drawn to his lips. To be honest, I want to do more than kiss him, I get urges around him that I don't even feel when I'm with Stefan. Thinking about him just consumes me.

The worst part is that I'm scared Damon will meet someone else and want her more than me. How selfish is that? After Rose, it is in the back of my mind and yesterday aunt Jenna introduced him to Andie Starr. Initially he said he wasn't interested, he told me he was staying clear of all women, but apparently Andie spent last night with him (I wish I were in her place). Aunt Jenna told me all about it when I got back from Caroline's sleepover. I think she's trying to make sure I stay away from Damon as Andie was apparently bragging about it being the best night of her life and how amazing Damon was and that he wanted to see her again. I just got in the shower and cried. I must have it bad.

I admit it, I'm completely jealous of Andie. I just hope I never have to see her with him and she's quickly out of his life. Wow, I sound like such a possessive bitch towards someone who isn't even my boyfriend, and probably never will be (although predicted it before I even met him).

I need to try and clear my head of Damon. My excuse for going to the Lake House is to get away from uncle John, but that's not entirely the truth, however I can't tell Stefan the real reason. I need to get away from Damon and concentrate on my relationship with my real boyfriend. Knowing Stefan, he'll make it sweet and romantic. He'll make love to me without us having to worry about being interrupted, hopefully he'll be more adventurous, which is exactly what I need to take my mind off Damon.

I guess this is no surprise, but the reason I'm writing in this diary is because last night I had another one of my dreams about Damon. I just hope I wasn't talking in my sleep, I wouldn't want Bonnie or Caroline to know about this.

This dream was somehow different to the others, I've almost gotten used to the dreams being erotic, but this one was triggered by the Andie incident. Obviously I didn't know he'd slept with her at the time. In my dream, I said and did what I really wanted to do yesterday in the restroom instead of being restricted by Damon having to save Caroline and uncle John interrupting us.

I hate Andie!

E

The previous night's dream...

After arriving at the Mystic Grill half an hour earlier with Damon to see John, Elena was now sat with one of her classmates discussing homework. Damon had typically decided to stay for a drink and judging by the mood he'd been in, she didn't like the idea of leaving him alone to have a second conversation with her biological father. Her phone beeped letting her know she'd received a text, checking she saw it was from Stefan.