Elena's Fantasy Diaries

The Memory

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to The Vampire Diaries, TV show or books. However I decided to have a little play around with the characters (I would definitely like to play with Damon).

Warning for explicit sexual content, bad language and blood play.

Dear Diary

I transitioned and I now I am a vampire!

I was also a little pissed with Damon too.

Damon compelled me TWICE!

I know I wrote the first time in my last diary entry, but more information came to light during my transition and back then I didn't know he'd compelled me again. Even worse, I knew him when he did it and he was fully aware I was not entirely happy with people being compelled unless it was for their own good.

The first time was when we first met. Which was a diary entry all of its own.

The second time he compelled me was just after him and Stefan rescued me from Rose. I always suspected Damon was the one who returned my necklace, because only he and Stefan could come into the house at the time and Stefan wouldn't have any reason to compel me to forget. That night Damon told me he loved me but he didn't deserve me. It explains why he backed off after that. I often wondered why. But it appears he decided to let me and Stefan be together.

So now I'm a vampire. Stefan tried me on animal blood but I threw it up, I can't drink blood bags, I can only drink warm blood from the vein, and it has to be a human vein. We found out because I initially drank Damon's blood because I didn't want to drink human blood. I threw that back up. Damon then tried me on a blood bag, that tasted like garbage. I couldn't even swallow that. Eventually Matt offered to let me feed from him, and oh my god, it was the most heavenly feeling ever. But I digress.

Until we found out what I could drink, Damon was trying to help me find alternatives to human blood. I told him no human or animal blood, which left him a little short on options. I went to Damon because Stefan was so pumped about me drinking animal blood, he seemed to ignore the fact I'd puked it all back up, even after I told him I'd been sick. It's like he buried his head in the sand because it didn't fit with his agenda of getting me on the bunny diet. I knew he wouldn't help, so I turned to Damon instead, because I knew he'd understand better.

Due to my insistence on no animal or human blood, it left Damon with only one choice, me feed from him. I thought that would be fine as that was how Mikael survived, but it turns out vampire's drinking from each other is 'personal' was how Damon put it. He warned me, but I was hungry. Initially I didn't understand, but I soon got the message when I realized what reaction I was having and it was hard to ignore Damon's reaction. Hard being the operative word, because that is exactly what happened, Damon was clearly as turned on by it as I was. It was strange as I think he could sense what I was feeling. He never explained it to me in full, but actions speak louder than words.

The blood wasn't very nice compared to human blood straight from the vein. However I did feel something of Damon's presence inside of me, which was a really wonderful feeling. I just wish it had been more than just his presence I felt. I did experience a mini orgasm, and I think Damon did too. We agreed not to discuss the entirety of what transpired in the bathroom with anyone else. Yes Damon told Stefan we blood shared, but I think he left out the orgasm part. I'm not even sure Damon would want to go into that much detail with Stefan.

When Stefan found out about me feeding from Damon, he was furious. I managed to turn the subject around but I doubt he'll forgive Damon in a hurry. I know I should have stopped as soon as I understood what Damon meant, but this is Damon. My self control around him is weakening, especially since I became a vampire. I'm not in full control of my emotions, and my feelings for Damon seem to be heightened. Strangely that's not happened with Stefan. But we haven't been back together long, and we need time to readjust. I' think it's because I've been used to being around Damon more than Stefan over the last few months. Once we've spent more time together I'm sure everything will be back to how it used to be between Stefan and me, or I hope it will, I think.