The Outsiders Imagines

Sodapop

A/N: I'm typing this on my phone again so forgive me if it's messy.
Trigger warning I think maybe? This imagine has to do with self-image and perhaps an eating disorder but it's never explicitly said.
I was inspired to write this because of my boyfriend, because I have really low self-esteem and was bad talking myself he pulled me in front of a mirror and tried to convince me I wasn't all the negative things I thought I was. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy!

"Soda?" I called creaking open the front door to the Curtis house.

"In the kitchen babe!" My boyfriend hollered back in response. Following his voice through the slightly askew house I found Sodapop in the kitchen standing in front of a piece of his famous chocolate cake.

"Hey pretty lady." Soda spoke through a mouth full of cake, wiping his hands on his jeans he held out his arms wordlessly inviting me for a hug. I gladly accepted, letting out a squeal when he lifted me into the air and spun us around.

"Soda! Put me down!" I cried out suddenly concious of how heavy I must be.

"Sorry baby." Soda chuckled placing me back on my feet and returning to his cake. Was he panting? For a second it looked like he was, oh no, am I that heavy? If I was Soda didn't say anything, he wouldn't mention it though, Soda was far too polite to comment on my weight. He's probably thinking about it now though, he definitely is, oh god. What if he's considering breaking up with me because I'm too heavy? I could feel my heart rate speeding up as my thoughts went into overdrive and I started to panic.

"(Y/N)? Are you with me?" Soda's voice broke through my frantic thoughts.

"Sorry what?" I asked feeling my face heat up and crossed my arms across my stomach.

"I asked if you wanted some cake babe, I made it fresh this morning." Soda offered, his movie star smile filling my stomach with butterflies.

The thought of cake sounded great so much so that I opened my mouth to accept Soda's offer but stopped myself, intrusive thoughts filling my head. It wasn't the healthiest option, it was a ton of calories from memory and I'd already eaten today. If I ate it I'd put on a lot of weight and Soda wouldn't like me anymore. He'd think I was fat and gross and wouldn't want me anymore. Who could blame him, he had so many other options for girlfriends, numerous prettier and thinner girls who adored him.

"No thanks Soda." I mumbled pecking his cheek. "I'll be back in a second."

I locked myself in the bathroom before he could say anything. Breathing became difficult as I sat on the cold tile floor and the self-depracating thoughts screamed in my head. Why was Soda even with me when he could do so much better? Girls constantly swooned over him, greasers and socs, yet he chose me. Plain old me.

I attempted to quiet the sobs forcing themselves out of me as I heard footsteps stop outside the door.

"(y/n)?" Soda asked knocking gently on the door.

"Won't be a minute." I replied trying to cover the fact that I'd started crying.

"(Y/n) are you crying? Open the door please." Soda asked concerned knocking louder on the bathroom door. I didn't respond as I tried desperately to wipe away the tears on my cheeks.

"Babe please open the door." His pleading tone broke my heart, so I climbed to my feet and unlocked the door. Soda's worried face shattered my heart as he wrapped me in a tight hug.

"What's wrong? You had me so worried. I heard you crying and thought I'd done something to upset you. I'm so sorry if I did baby." Soda spoke quickly and frantically.

"It's okay Soda, you didn't do anything wrong." I choked out, filled with guilt that I'd made him so worried.

"What's the matter then?" He asked looking me in the eyes, boy were they dreamy.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." I mumbled wiping any remaining tears away.

"(Y/n), you're not leaving until you tell me."  Soda spoke firmly, blocking the door so I couldn't leave. I couldn't do anything to stop the tears filling my eyes again.

"I just don't like myself Soda." I mumbled.

"What's not to like babygirl? You're perfect." Soda spoke putting his hands on my cheeks to keep me looking at him.

"No I'm not Soda! Look at me, I'm huge! I'm disgusting and overweight, I don't even know why you're with me." I gasped out through my tears.

"Take your shirt off."

"What?" I questioned.

"Take your shirt off." Soda demanded tugging at the hem of my top.

"Soda, I don't wa-" my resisting was cut off by Soda yanking my shirt over my head. Instinctively I covered my stomach with my arms as I refused to meet Soda's eyes. I was overcome with embarrassment as Soda took in my body.

"Turn and look in the mirror." Soda commanded.

"I don't want to see myself." I snapped harshly.

"I'm not asking, I'm telling you, turn around and look at yourself." Soda demanded spinning me around. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept my arms across my stomach. I hated looking at myself and I didn't want to see my body and didn't want to see Soda's face as he realised how undesirable my body is.

"Open your eyes baby, please." Soda begged and as much as I disliked myself I couldn't stand hearing Soda so upset so I obeyed and opened my eyes.

"Pull your arms away." Soda said softly from behind me. I did as he said. It took everything in me not to turn away from the mirror.

"I understand you don't like how you look (y/n), but listen to me. I love your body just the way it is. I love your face, your arms, your tummy, your hips, your legs. Hell I even love your stretch marks, they're the cutest thing to me." Soda explained, tracing shapes with his finger tips along my side.

"But there's so many prettier and thinner girls you could have, I don't understand why you like me." I mumbled.

"But I don't love them like I love you, they don't make me feel like you do. I don't love you just because of your body, I'm in love with you as a whole." Soda explained kissing me on the cheek.

"You love me?" I questioned, neither of us had said it yet.

"Yes so much, so please believe me when I say you're perfect to me and I love everything about your body." Soda confessed spinning me back around to kiss me.

"I love you too Soda." I whispered like it was a secret I only wanted Sodapop to hear.

"I love you so much (y/n). Now did you want some cake?" Soda grinned.

"You know I do." God I loved him.