«sober⚣mvk»✔

veintinueve.

   Something was obviously wrong with Taehyung, that much Jimin could tell. He wasn't acting the same. He was more... closed.

   "Do you want anything to eat?" Jimin asked when they walked into their now shared apartment, the door closing with a soft thud behind them as their feet padded along the crème colored carpet.

   "No. I'm going to bathe," Taehyung held a tone in his voice that Jimin couldn't place, all the he knew was that he didn't like it. Looking after Taehyung, Jimin decided that giving the younger male space was the smartest thing to do at the moment, knowing that Taehyung would get over whatever was causing his sour attitude. Maybe he was just in shock. Yeah. That sounds about right.

   Taehyung, however, was in the opposite state of shock. He was in full realization of what he had done. And it was starting to make him feel sick. His head hurt. His shoulders felt heavy. And he couldn't breathe properly. His chest felt like it was collapsing.

   Then the tears started.

   Crawling to the bathroom door, Taehyung strained to lock it, not wanting Jimin to barge in on him in his moment of weakness. Taehyung curled into himself, his back leaning against the door, the cold floor making his butt go numb. His breathing started to speed up, his heart pounding against his chest. He brought his hands up to his hair, tangling his fingers in the locks and pulling, hoping that that would stop the urge to break something.

   He felt disgusted with himself. He killed somebody. He killed Jeongguk. How could he live with himself now? He wanted nothing more than to turn back time and undo his wrong doings. But life isn't like that. It doesn't allow you to fix your mistakes. Shouldn't've made them in the first place. But Taehyung can't do anything about it. He'd have to go on knowing that he was the reason Jeon Jeongguk, the first one he ever truly loved, was 6 feet under, his heart no longer beating. That's something no man should go on bearing on their shoulders. Innocently, at least. 

   'I'm a fucking monster,' repeated in his head like a mantra, each word making his eyes sting more and more. The feeling in his chest was like an elephant sitting on it, unable to get a deep breath without it breaking into a sob.

   "Jeongguk... I'm so sorry," Taehyung cried to the ceiling, a lump forming in his throat, stopping him from pushing out any more words. He fell to the side, not having enough sensibility in his head to care that he was dirtying his suit that he yet to strip off, his mind blurred with memories and pain.

   After unknown minutes of crying, Taehyung pulled out his phone, wiping at his eyes so that he could see properly, the words on the screen no longer blurred together. Opening his contacts, Taehyung clicked call on Kim Namjoon, his cousin.

   "Hyung. I did something bad."

-

   "Ah, Taehyung, you okay?" Jimin asked as he walked over to the male walking into the kitchen, his hair dripping as a white shirt too big for him was draped over his shoulders, his eyes heavy from fatigue and crying. He almost forgot how tired full-body crying made him.

   "Uhm, yeah. What time is it?" Taehyung asked, the arms around his waist making him feel like losing balance.

   "It's 7:28pm. Taehyung, are you really okay?" Jimin was worried now, his brow knotted as he looked at Taehyung, worry settling in his gut at the tear streaks on Taehyung's sun kissed face, not wanting to mention it, but at least wanting to console the younger.

   "Yeah, I just lost track of time," Taehyung forced a smile on his lips, knowing that it wasn't all that convincing from the look on Jimin's face, but luckily the elder let it go and lightly kissed Taehyung's lips, the touch sending butterflies in Taehyung's stomach.

   "Well, then let's lay down, yeah?" Jimin led Taehyung into their shared bedroom, stepping over the boxes of Taehyung's stuff they had yet to unpack. Laying down, Taehyung had pulled the warm blanket over his body, the warmth relaxing him. When he closed his eyes, Taehyung had felt Jimin start to trail his lips down Taehyung's neck, moving down to his exposed shoulder, coming back up as his hand wrapped around the younger's waist.

   "Jimin, not tonight," Taehyung tried to shake the elder's hands off, successfully doing so after hearing Jimin sigh, but remove his lips and hands.

   "Alright, sorry. I love you," Jimin said softly, resting his head on his pillow and closing his eyes, letting his hand rest lightly around Taehyung's middle, contentment falling over him when Taehyung didn't push it away.

   "You too," Taehyung mumbled, staring into the nothing, millions of thoughts running through his mind, but not being able to make out what they were. He just knew they were there.

-

   Taehyung had stayed up and stared at the blue luminescent clock sitting on the night stand, waiting for it to strike 2:30am. When it finally did, his phone dinged with a text message, reading 'outside'.

   Slowly and carefully sitting up from his place in the bed, Taehyung rose to his feet, slowly making his way to the bedroom door after picking up his phone and throwing on a light coat, making his way down the apartment stairs after leaving a note on his pillow for Jimin to find when he woke up.

   "Hey, Taehyung-ah," Taehyung heard when he made it outside, looking up to meet eyes with his cousin.

   "Namjoon hyung. Can we go now?"

-

   Jimin woke up to find his arm resting on the bed, and not Taehyung's waist. Sitting up quickly, Jimin looked around the room desperate to find his lover. Then his eyes locked on the small white slip of paper resting on the pillow next to him.

   I had to get away for a while, just to clear my head. I'm not thinking straight right now. Don't worry, I'm with my cousin in Dongjak District. I might stay with him for the night. I should be back tomorrow, two days at the most. I'm sorry, I just needed to get some space. I love you.

    -Taehyung

---