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"mom?" i whispered as i peeked through the front door. my mom was holding multiple grocery bags in her hands as she walked up to the porch.

"haeun-" she handed me some of what she was holding-"would you kindly help me, dear?"

i nodded my head as i got the light bags. we tried to be as silent as we could as father was sleeping in his office, which was on the first floor. technically, he made this rule because "no one should destroy a well-deserved sleep of a nearly successful businessman," whatever that meant. 

"haeun, thank you for helping mommy. would you please go into your room?"

"why?"

"please haeun, i need you to go there and don't come out until i say so." she faintly smiled as she guided me to my room.

"i love you so much," she whispered as she kissed me on my forehead and locked the door on her way out.

moments later, a muffled argument was heard from downstairs. i knew exactly who was arguing, mom and dad. these have been very frequent these days, and i'm worried that things wouldn't get better.

"what do you think you're doing to the boy?" i heard mom shout.

"he came here trashing my whole office!"

"don't be silly, sanggyun. he's just a boy, it was an accident!"

"a boy who knows that he doesn't belong here. he has enough reason to do such a thing!"

i covered my mouth as i listened to everything they were saying. it was muffled but understandable and it all hurts.

my mind was a mess thinking about what father said, that my brother "doesn't belong here." what does that mean? was there something i didn't know?

"fine then, have it your way," father shouted as i heard the door opening," i want to leave my house,

without my daughter."

i didn't know what it meant, no, i forced myself to not understand. it was all a mess and i hated every part of it.

it became silent after that and i thought the argument was over, that it was fine, but again, i thought. i heard the door slam heard, signaling that somebody closed it. no.

i cried the whole time, the whole night, the next weeks, months, and years even, and i followed her last wish for days, the wish to never come out until she says so.

it's been years since my mother left this house with my brother. it was very hard for me to cope up with everything.

my father became cold to me starting that day, he started to not care. he never asked them to leave without me so that he could take care of me, but he used me as a blackmail material, threatening a lot of things just so that my mother never comes back. that's why i despised him so much.

an explanation came in a letter one day. it was very straight to the point, very direct that made my efforts of moving on useless. it talked about how i was truly my father's daughter, but my brother wasn't... he was adopted, adopted by my mother who remarried my father.

he never liked my brother because he wasn't in his bloodline, he was a disgrace. he cared too much of his name, his power, and his business that having a family was just his play. i hate that.

up to this day, i remember that argument, where my family was destroyed. i remember seeing them leaving by my window, and i remember the last name i called out before they left,

jisung.

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