Falling for the Goalie and Other Dangerous Sports

Chapter 16 - Maddy

woo! 4,000 reads! :D ah, you guys make me so happy. well, since i promised new chapters, here they are! hopefully I can get to 20 soon. I feel bad for taking such big breaks, but freshman soccer's started up, and it SUCKS. I've never run so much in my life -_- anyway, thanks, cause you guys are the best! C:

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My heart pounded, sweat rolled down my face, and I breathed rapidly. People shouted, whistles sounded, and the ball came back to our half. I picked my hands off my knees and got ready to defend, but luckily our midfielders got the ball back. I took another break.

We were losing. Badly. 5-1. It probably should be something more like 7 to 1, but Nate had some lucky saves. Still, we would be leading if you-know-who was in.

I had been running my butt off, considering the fact I was the only thing between the other team and the goal. I tried and tried to stop players, but I was running on empty by the first 10 minutes. We were doing that bad. We had less than 5 minutes of possession in the first half, and we still weren't doing much better in the second. The ball traveled back towards our end, so I got ready to defend again.

We all knew why we were doing so bad. It was a different game without Derek, and it didn't help that the other's team defense was incredibly strong. I guess you could call us more of an offensive team, which didn't help at all. I tried to pick up the slack that the left and right defenders left, but it was useless. I was only one person.

I passed the ball back up to Aimee, who was trying to cross it. Things continued to bounce around midfield, eventually moving towards the other team's goal. I took the opportunity to look to the sidelines, where Mark, Dakota, Grayson, and Derek sat. They examined the game and looked to comment here and there, but Dakota was getting quite friendly with Derek. They talked back and forth, and I saw her giggle and give him a push, watching him smile and push back. I quickly turned back to the game, feeling sick.

A person came dribbling my way, and I quickly broke down and managed to steal the ball off of him, kicking it back up field. I looked to see if anyone noticed. Wyatt smiled at me, so I respectfully returned it.

Eventually, the game ended. The final score was 6-2, us losing. We shook hands with the other team.

Gathering around coach, me getting some well deserved water, she talked about the game and what we could improve on. I paid attention, hoping to get something out of it to distract me from Dakota and Derek's inconsistent chattering/flirting. I bit my lip and concentrated harder. I was just a friend, remember? And I don't want that to change. Right.

We gathered our belongings and headed off to parents folding up their chairs. Wyatt came beside me.

"Hey Maddy, good job today."

I sighed out of exhaustion. "You too, Wyatt."

"Thanks."

An awkward silence settled in. Wyatt scratched the back of his head and spoke up again. "So, um, I've been meaning to ask you-"

"Wyatt! You're riding with us, remember?" Derek announced loudly, coming up beside him.

"Dude, I know."

"Well, the car's this way. Let's go, buddy." He flung him arm over Wyatt and steered him in the opposite direction. I smiled a little, watching the two walk off.

"Rough game, sweetheart. You did your best though."

"Thanks Mom." I said, laying my feet out in the back again. I rested my head against the cool window. Mom cleared her throat.

"Oh yeah, good game Maddy." Hadley said, face in her phone.

"Ditto." Hannah mumbled.

I didn't respond. I put my earbuds in and turned on some road trip music, hoping it'll keep my mind off of Derek.

I needed to have that talk with myself eventually. About Derek. About what I thought of him, deep down. But I didn't want to, not now, because there were just too many questions that I couldn't answer. He seemed to like me...but it seems that way with every girl. I mean, look at Dakota. Straight, blond hair and blue eyes, tons of eyeliner and mascara, perfect skin, perfect body. No wonder he flirts with her, she's considered a "popular" too. I'm just in the middle. And the fear of rejection made my stomach turn. He'd probably make it really embarrassing if he could. But that was the other thing; ifs. I didn't know enough about him, not nearly enough to make a rational decision. I'm never one for rationalizing though, more of an impulsive person. Like Derek. Which is never good, if you're fighting head-on all the time.

My phone buzzed. I looked at who the message was from: Aimee, of course.

Hey, good job today :)

I responded back a similar thing. I trusted Aimee with this kind of stuff; maybe she would help me. But her message completely took my mind off of anything Derek related.

Maddy, do you see Wyatt?

Yes, a dur :P

Well, do you see him as a boyfriend?

What? Wyatt? Where the hell did that come from? I've never even...even thought about anything between me and him besides the occasional conversations and interruptions.

No! Why?

Because he's obviously flirting with you. ;)

No, he obviously can only have awkward conversations with me, which often get interrupted by Derek.

Ah, so this goes back to Derek again. I see ;D

I rolled my eyes and began to type back a no, but stopped half way. Well, I'm not going to type back a yes, am I? Course, that's what's usually in my mind now a days. Yes to everything. But I've got to have some self control over this. He's dangerous, a flirt, someone not to be trusted. I forced myself to type the O.

Maddy, if you really like him, you've got to...to...I don't know, admit it! You have to commit yourself and GO AFTER HIM!!!

I think you're more enthusiastic about this relationship than I am :P

Oh look! You even call it a relationship! :">

Shut up, that's not what I meant :b

Suuuuuuure. But be serious with yourself. Tell me everything you think about Wyatt.

Why? Sure he's athletic and decent looking and stuff, but he gets all weird when he tries to talk to me. And he's too...I don't know how to describe it. Obsessive, sorta? I don't know. Just not my type.

And the flirt is?

I stopped again, contemplating what to text her. No, no, the flirty guy's not any girl's type. EVER. What happened? I had myself convinced he was wrong for me less than 5 minutes ago.

Admit it Maddy-you were completely jealous of Dakota today.

My face heated up. I was not!

Please. I saw you looking at the sidelines.

She's my teammate. He's my teammate.

Maddy, maddy, maddy...you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble with him. :/

I know, i know i know! D: but, i'm not even, like, associated with him. I don't want to be!

But you are. c:

No, I'm not. :c we're friends.

Whaaaaatever. I'll have to talk to you later :) bye!

I wanted to type back, say don't stop the conversation now, because I have so much more to say. To confess. And I just needed to tell someone now, to get it off my chest. But those impulsive decisions never turn out good for me. I typed back a bye and closed my phone. We drove down the familiar street, headed towards our driveway. Pulling in, I paused my music and gathered my things, heading inside the house, turning on the shower, taking off my sweaty shin guards and such, and hopping in, turning the temperature cold.

The cold water felt refreshing. It was mid august, so it was still hot out. The days were long, but growing shorter, adding to the looming trepidation of the next school year to come. School...god, school. What am I going to do? At the next sleepover, when they ask who my crush is, am I really going to say the absolutely unattainable Derek Weaver, and have my friends give me those mourning stares? Everyone has gone through a Derek phase, and this is mine. It always ends in heartbreak, we all know, but it's...it's just irresistible.

Aimee must already know it. Know that I did like him, a little bit, wanted to fall, a little bit. Oh, who was I kidding. I knew it very well that I wanted this to be something more. But I've been heartbroken before, maybe not bad, but what happened with Kendall is that we had talked before, and maybe a little bit of flirting, but the summer tore us apart. And by the time next year, Scarlett Jones was hanging on his hip and he bowed down to her every request. Crash. There goes a whole two years of nothing.

I didn't want that to happen with Derek and I, useless months or even years of talking and friendship going down the drain when no one makes a move.

You know how everyone always talks about what deep thoughts and life decisions they think about in the shower? That's what's happeneing right now.

I decided to give up.