Falling for the Goalie and Other Dangerous Sports

Chapter 21 - Derek

BOOM! past the 20 threshold! :D I think i'm going to write this chapter in a panda hat. just because. I'll take a picture if I get more than...10,000 reads? sure. that works. and I need some feedback about a sequel...just one. because i think there's too many loose ends to tie up now, or else i risk the ending being lame and a cheezfest. ahh, i'll think about. there's still a lot of plot planned out here...so enjoy :)

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"Why not be friends? I mean, why not something more?"

No! Why did I ask that? NO! Take it back, rewind, anything, I didn't just...no, I can't of...fuck. Rejection, friendzone, oh the different routes this could take. Common sense fails me yet again, and my brain just doesn't know when to stop. I should've pulled back after I pulled her closer, should've given up when she moved away, should've let her squirm out again to prevent this disaster. I think this has to be the dumbest thing I've ever said to her. Probably a contender of the worst things I've said in my entire existence. Words can't even describe the amount of regret that's coursing through me, fueling my adrenaline in some vicious cycle. I was going back to the old us, where I said embarrasing things and made irrational decisions. I felt my feet wanting move the hell out of there, but she replied first.

"I don't know...we're teammates."

I took a silent and nervous breath, calming down a bit. Not completely embarrassed, not completely rejected. "You say that too much."

"I can't help it. You know things would be screwed up."

Just be brave and forget the rest, Derek. Man up. "I wouldn't care. And I don't think anyone else would."

"I'd want to try."

"Me too."

"Do you think this is going too fast?"

"No. Not fast enough. I mean, I don't want to rush..." Slip up. Screw up. Mistake.

"No, I understand."

I took a moment to recollect myself again. This is insane, how nervous I am. I wasn't this anxious during the championship shootout, for god's sake. Not even for a state tryout that I ended up not going to because of a concussion that my mom would've duct taped me to the bed for. My thoughts then came together slowly, making me feel a little more at ease. "What are you thinking?"

Maddy sighed. Shit.

"I don't think...I mean, I just don't know. I really don't know."

Another small wave of relief. "Okay. I'll wait 'till you figure it out." I subconciously hugged her harder. "And I'm still not letting go."

"Fine." Maddy said frustratingly, but she felt a little more relaxed in my one arm. That went better than expected. But god, why am I such a wreck around her? How did that simple conversation nearly make me lose control? I mean, I guess we really didn't take a step further. At least we didn't go backwards, though, and that's a relief. Maybe it'd be a bigger relief if she would've just answered the question, but with how unstable I was, I don't think I could've handled it either way.

The opening ceremonies went on until midnight, and everyone stayed up for every minute of it. We clapped respectively, people stretching and beginning to say their goodbyes. I made the rounds, saying goodbye and thanks over and over again. My mom ended up starting conversations with most of everyone else as I escaped to the kitchen. I sneaked the dirty dishes out of the living room for an excuse and put them into the dishwasher, stifling a yawn. I didn't realize how tired I was, but I perked up when Maddy came in to throw something away. In my slightly sedated state, I walked over and put my arm around her again, feeling like such the gentleman. "See you tomorrow."