Falling for the Goalie and Other Dangerous Sports

Chapter 27 - Derek

I dug my nails further and further into my arm as Maddy and Wyatt pushed and laughed and rolled over each other like some Nicholas Sparks movie. I'm going to be sick. I'm going to throw up. I am going to throw up. My arms felt permanently crossed; my fingernails stuck in my arm. I'm going to punch someone. I'm going to kill Wyatt. I am going to kill him.

Coach blew the whistle and I didn't hesitate to get a drink. I have never been so upset in my life. God, I wanted to punch something so badly.

"Maybe next time," I heard behind me. Water came back up my throat a little. Am I sick or upset, or so upset I'm sick, or so sick I'm upset...what's wrong with me.

We went back to the field and played for the rest of practice. Everyone knew better than to put Maddy and I on the same team. The first shot came right to my stomach. I wound up and punted the ball 10 yards past the midfield line. Coach Reed stopped her pacing and glanced at me for a moment. I walked back towards my goal and dug my toe into the dirt a little.

Not much went on. We were dismissed and reminded of the game tomorrow. Everyone already had their rides, but mom said she'd be late, and that strange color the earth gets before a storm washed over the field. I didn't want to take any chances, so I headed up to the pavilion as my anger faded into exhaustion.

I wasn't in the pavilion for a minute before it started to rain. I always liked the sound of rain and thunderstorms at dusk. I laid my head down on the table and fell asleep.

I had a weird dream. It didn't last long, but I remember being at practice and there was this giant hole in the middle of the field. Maddy had fallen down it and everyone was in a panic, and then I jumped in without a moment's hesitation, but I ended up falling into a pit of pillows or something fluffy, getting mud and grass all over the crisp white sheets. I laid face down, as the mud spread and covered everything in brush and moss. Including a motionless, seemingly dead body that I eventually realized was Maddy, washing over her and continuing out, like she was just part if the ground. Panic began to set in, but then someone shook me awake.

"DEREK!"

"Hmm, what?" I asked, stretching and expecting bright sunlight. Rain fell from the gray clouds and a warm wind rushed through the pavilion.

"Your ride's here." That was Maddy's voice.

I quickly stood up and turned to face her. I straightened my kelly green shirt, and was about to fix my hair, but her presence just startled me. Am I waiting for a punch? A string of insults? A crazy passionate kiss maybe? "Um, oh..." I checked to see if someone was actually here, and mom was talking loudly on the phone. I picked up my things, Maddy's black, mud-caked cleats rolling shyly on their sides. "Um, thanks." That's all I managed to get out. I walked to my mother's car, voices screaming "Go back! Tell her! Tell her now! Today! Go back and kiss her for god's sake, do something!"

I shut the car door abruptly, stopping the voices and staring straight ahead. Still talking on the phone, Mom put the car in drive and we headed for home. Maddy sat with her head between her hands in the rear view mirror.

What have I done.

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I went up to my room and started the shower, trying to make sense of what had happened at this last practice.

I could have any girl I wanted. I could've had Scarlett. I could've had Aimee, or Heather, or a slew of other girls in my grade. I was such a douche though. Why do people like me? Why can't I just drop everything and go live with Max, start over, start everything over. I faced myself in the mirror, hands gripping the table. My unruly hair was all messed up again, brown pieces all going where they shouldn't. My nose looked really big. My eyelashes looked like a girl's. My eyes in general looked like I was wearing cheap colored contacts, or was about to rip someone's throat out and turn into a werewolf. My jawline looked stupid. My face looked stupid. I didn't look like someone who knew how to write. I looked like a jock.