Falling for the Goalie and Other Dangerous Sports

Chapter 39 - Derek

It rebounded off of my hands. As I fell, I saw Wyatt running side by side with the other forward. I ended up stumbling and throwing a wild arm out to deflect the game winning shot but it was too late. The whistle pierced through the air as the ball rolled out of the goal, Bridesdale screams sounded like monkey howls. The last minute. They scored at the possible last minute.

The whistle blew again and signaled the end of the game. I got in line, taken over by a sort of blissful daze. We lost in the last minute. I couldn't save it. I couldn't save that last shot and then we would've tied. If I had been a little quicker, if I could've maybe gotten some sort of grip on the ball or if I had angled my hands a little differently, I wouldn't be feeling like such shit. Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit. How could I let this happen. How.

I was disgusted with myself, but I noticed Maddy walking to her car. It was a look of dissapointment I couldn't forget, but I wanted to tell her it was my fault. Not hers, even though the forward got past her. I could've saved the shot, I could've fucking saved it and I didn't. I didn't, and we lost, and now we probably won't have a chance at first or second seat. God. This sucked.

The car ride back was rather silent, except for the old rock Dad was playing, talking to Mom about who knows what. They haven't stopped talking since Dad had gotten home. I didn't mind, I just wanted to keep my thoughts to myself and not hear Dad's dissapoinment. One shot, that one shot that could've saved the game.

Nonetheless, when I got into the room, I didn't feel up to showering. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to sleep, but just couldn't with all the racing thoughts. Regret coursed through me, replaying the stupid shot over and over. I could've saved it, I could've saved it, why do I hate myself so much.

Why...why did I hate myself so much? I sat up in bed, something shifting in my brain. I didn't save the shot. Big whoop. I had those good saves against Wellington. I had other saves that game, I had other great saves throughout the day. It was one goal I couldn't save in Bridesdale. We weren't going to be seated last, we still had a shot at the championship. Laughing out of realization, I laid back against the headboard. I can't believe I was hating myself so much for something that would've been close to impossible to stop.

"Derek?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

Mom peeked into the room. "There's someone here to see you."

I abruptly got up off the bed, walking past a mirror to notice I was still all muddy and gross. I went to meet the visitor anyway, which turned out to be Hannah. Max used to tutor one of the Gray twins on math in high school, and I assumed it must be Hannah by the way Mom was so welcoming of her. She chatted with Mom enthusiastically before her similar hazel eyes fell on me. "Hey, come with me for a sec." She waved her hand towards the door. I looked at Mom for some sort of answer as to where I was going, but she just shrugged and smiled, and said not to be gone too late. As soon as I closed the door, Hannah was halfway to her room.

Because I didn't know her very well, I quietly asked, "Why do you need me?"

"Maddy. You can cheer her up. She hasn't moved from the bed...and I can't stand to see her like this."

"What, why do you need me?" She opened the door to her room. The living area was silent and her mother's bedroom door was closed, so I assumed she must be sleeping already.

"I know she won't talk to me. But you..." She drifted off, opening the bedroom door. Maddy was sprawled out on the bed, face down. It was kind of comical in that moment, but Hannah tried to talk to her again. "Hey, Maddy."

"Go away," she said, voice muffled by the pillow. "Can't you see I'm upset."

"You have a visitor."