Falling for the Goalie and Other Dangerous Sports

Chapter 17 - Derek

It was absolutely killing me to watch the first game. To watch the ball roll out of our goal 6 times. 6. Fucking. Times. And watch Maddy bust her ass off to try and keep us alive while we might as well have a cardboard cutout of Spiderman for a goalie. I don't mean to be a complainer, but Nate isn't the best player on the team. Yeah he's got skills, but he just doesn't have the quickness to be a goalie. I do. I ,could've easily saved this game from going down the drain in a pitiful 6-1 defeat.

"Hey look, we scored!" Dakota said, clapping her hands together. 6-2.

"We might have a chance, guys. 5 goals in 5 minutes." I said, grudgingly clapping along. The whistle sounded and the other team took off with the ball again.

Mark, Grayson, and Dakota laughed at my comment, quickly growing silent to watch the rest of the game. I don't know why, we were obviously goners.

"Hey Derek," Dakota said, turning to face me.

"Hmm." I said, not really paying attention to her. I focused my eyes on the ball as the other team's goalie made a quick save. If he would of anticipated the shot more he wouldn't of had to dive. And if Kendall would've passed sooner, we could've had another shot.

"The other team's goalie is pretty cute."

"Sure." I said, still focused on the game. Another frustratingly bad pass.

Suddenly Dakota burst out laughing, jolting me out my trance. I looked at her, blue eyes rolled back, laughing at me. "What? What happened?" I asked.

"You just admitted to finding the other teams goalie cute," she said, Grayson and Mark starting to laugh at me too. I sighed, retracing the conversation and mentally hitting myself in the face.

"No, I didn't."

"Yeah, you did. But that's alright. I've always wanted a gay best friend." Dakota leaned in and gave me a small shove. I shoved her back, laughing as she fell into Grayson, spilling water over him.

"No, I didn't, now get up, because the game's over," I said, standing and brushing off my sweatpants. Poor Grayson looked like he peed himself. Dakota and Mark were laughing their heads off at his distress.

"I've got to go shake hands with the other team like this?" He exclaimed. I chuckled and got in line to shake hands. What happens on the sidelines.

The team gathered around Coach Dublin again, hearing her commentary. Dakota came up again and started a conversation. "All the girls are going to be so disappointed in September, Derek."

I looked at her, blonde hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, blue eyes staring into mine, head cocked slightly to the side. She looked to be about twelve, definitely not fourteen. "Why?"

She raised an eyebrow and laughed a little. "Because now you're gay."

I knew she wasn't serious, so I laughed along with her. "I swear, if you don't let this drop..." I said, trying to be a bit more serious. Dakota's laugh was one of those that get anyone laughing, so I really couldn't help myself. And she was a good friend of mine; we used to be neighbors until a couple years ago, but we didn't stop talking to each other. We always kicked around with her and her sister against me and my brother when we were little, and my mother and her mother had known each other since birth. She was like a sister I never had.

"Oh, I'm just messing with you. But really now...last year of middle school and no relationship? Next year we're at the bottom of the food chain again. I'd go after someone now."

"Why are you so eager to get me into a relationship?"

"Because you're getting too cynical."

"No, everyone's just too annoying for me."

"See? Cynical."

"Shut up." I kicked her cleat as she kicked mine back.

"Seriously, bro. We need to talk about your options sometime."

"How about...no, no, and no?"

Coach Dublin adjourned the meeting and signaled for us to put our hands in. "Good luck with that." Dakota said before we broke our huddle to gather our things. I waved bye as she walked off to her car, her mother waving bye too. I smiled at the two of them as they drove off.

As I picked up my bag, I saw Maddy painstakingly walk across the field with her head down, changing my mood. Why? Why does she think it's her fault we got steamrolled? I wanted to see her happy and smiling, like the girl I saw back in American Eagle. It was crazy to think she was that girl, a complete 180 degree turn on everything I ever knew about the elusive Madeline Gray. It was crazy to think I was actually friends with that girl.

I smiled to myself and walked across the field behind her, deciding maybe it wasn't such a bad day after all. Wyatt came up beside me, nervously tucking and untucking his jersey. "Sup?"

"I'm gonna do it. I'm really going to go do it now."

My stomach dropped. "...Ask Maddy?"

Ever since he practically abused me, one game of Call of Duty cleared everything up. We weren't guys to stay mad at each other like girls are. We sort of forgot about it and went back to being friends. And he did apologize and so did I, so we were on mutual ground. Then, the day after, he finally gave in and confessed about Maddy over a text. He always does this stuff, and I mostly just add a word or two in while he vents it out. At the end, all I do is suggest a game and them his torrent's done. Wyatt and I are pretty open to each other, so it doesn't bother either of us to talk about personal stuff. I'll admit, it was weird reading his texts about Maddy. I wasn't backing off of her like I said I would, I knew that.

"Yep."

"Why? She's sweaty and depressed that we lost, obviously. Why not wait until that tournament at Bridesdale?" I reasoned. Every year we go to a tournament at Bridesdale in central Pennsylvania and stay four days there at the water park, before finishing out the last of the season during school. It was always a lot of fun and a big tournament to show off at.

"I don't want to wait that long." He smoothed out his shirt one more time. "Here we go."

I watched as he marched up to her with confidence, quickly faltering as Maddy turned towards him. Poor Wyatt was so nervous, but she had that effect.

"Hey Maddy, good job today."

"You too, Wyatt." I saw it in her eyes, the exhaustion, the disinterest, and Wyatt's looming rejection. And I couldn't watch it happen.

"So, um, I've been meaning to ask you-"

"Wyatt! You're riding with us, remember?" I said, throwing my arm around him and steering off towards our car.

"Dude, I know." I ignored the subtle annoyance in his voice.

"Well, the car's this way. Let's go, buddy."

I glimpsed Maddy smiling as I steered him off towards our car, until she disappeared inside hers.

"What the hell? I was just about to-"

"I know, I know. But I didn't want to see you get rejected."

"What makes you so sure?" And there it was. That malice again. I'm walking on paper thin ice right now.

"Because she looked like she was going to." Wyatt looked in disbelief at me, flinging my arm off. He stared at me, brown eyes looking menacing. He was thinking something and not saying it, I knew it, and it was about me. I'm never a good liar if you stare me down, and Wyatt had discovered that weakness a long time ago. I scratched the back of my head awkwardly. "Sorry?"

"Nah, Derek's right." Aimee said, leaning against the door of the car next to us. Her phone was held out, fingers poised to text. "For once. I mean, about Maddy. Sorry Wyatt...here's the proof if you need it." She held out her phone to him and he took it without a moments hesitation. His face contorted in a number of expressions, tension growing with each one. I was actually right? Of course I was. Maddy didn't like Wyatt. But how's he going to react?

Wyatt suddenly threw his hands up and slapped Aimee's phone back in her hand. "Of course. I should've seen this all along." Wyatt's voice had a hint of pain in it, but something told me he already knew his upending doom with Maddy. "Oh well."

"...Oh well." Aimee sang.

"Guess I'll see you in hell." Wyatt and Aimee sang the line together, laughing and starting to talk about Mayday Parade.

And then it was over. He wasn't hurt, embarrassed, nothing. Wyatt had gotten over Maddy in the blink of an eye, and by the looks of it, had his sights set otherwise. How in the hell is that remotely possible? I stood awkwardly as they continued to talk and talk and talk. I looked for my mother, who was chatting away with Coach Dublin. And then I just continued to stand, completely out of the loop and drowning in my own thoughts. About how Wyatt could get over something so easily and start flirting with Aimee, and what the hell those texts could've said. And now that I take notice of it, if Wyatt was himself around Maddy, she'd be chasing any line he throws her. I don't know what made him so damn charming to everyone, saying the rights things at the right times. The sad realization was that Wyatt was, in fact, rubbing off on me. I couldn't think straight or speak right around Maddy, but talking with Dakota today was breeze. Talking to Aimee is nothing. But talking to her, quietly beautiful her, always ended up wrong. No matter how endearing I tried to be.

I had been zoned out long enough, leaning against mom's SUV with my head on the cool window. Too much thinking nowadays, too much time spent on one person, on one girl.

"...Derek doesn't even realize it."

"Realize what?" I piped up, turning to face Aimee and Wyatt. Those two were awfully close.

"Nothing, oh nothing. But I've got to go. Talk to you guys later." We said our goodbyes as Aimee headed off, Wyatt smiling. We got into each side of Mom's car, feet propped up on the seats in front of us, silent. Wyatt pulled out his phone, I leaned against the window again, waiting for Mom to be done talking. I swallowed a little and spoke up.

"So that's it? You're over her?"

"Yeah. Like I said, I never had a chance now, did I?"

"Why are you, I mean, how are you, and, and-"

"Poor Derek, trying to think again. Don't burn yourself out."

"Asshole." I muttered. He laughed. "Seriously though..." I drifted off, trying to find the right words.

"I already told you. Never had a chance."

"Why? And why did you still go after her, then?"

"One, because of you. And two...i don't really know."

I turned a fraction to see him out of the corner of my eye, finding him staring at me. Not this again.

"But you want her too, isn't that right?"

I can lie. I can do this. Expressionless, don't move your face, don't blink. Don't move a muscle, you can make this completely believable. You've lied tons of times before, why is eye contact so much different? C'mon Derek, man up. "No."

He looked at me for a second before snapping his head back to his phone and grinning. "Liar. You can't lie to me."

I knew I lost. I threw my water bottle on the floor. "Dammit Wyatt, I fucking hate you."

"I know."

"I'm literally going to murder you if you don't shut up about it."

"Aww, Derek has a cute little crush in Maddy." I groaned and covered my face. Why? Why could I not lie to him, of all people? Of all the people in the world I couldn't lie to. And there was no escaping it now. I really cared about her. I knew I did. I cared about what she did, and who she was with, and what she thought, everything. I'm such a girl. No, I'm just a really fucked-up guy. Wyatt, however was still heckling, pushing to the edge of my sanity.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I CARE ABOUT HER!" I yelled, hoping to shut Wyatt up. Things grew really quiet as he stared at me in a slew of mixed emotions. I slowed down my breathing, cleared my head, and took a moment to recollect myself. Turning and putting my head on the window again, my eyes automatically closed. "Fuck my life."

"You're allowed to have emotions, you know. It's normal." I stayed quiet and opened my eyes to look out the window, watching trees move in the wind. Wyatt sighed and spoke again. "Derek, I know you don't talk about this stuff. I know I'm the one who usually does, and I know it's a really pussy-ish thing to do, and I'm sorry if I bore you. And I know you keep it all bottled up inside. Everything. How smart you are. How much you idolize your brother. Girls and shit. That's not healthy. You've got to talk to someone about this stuff, about your problems. You're the friend I go to. And you don't go to anyone, about anything. Ever. I don't mean to sound gay, but...I guess I'm just saying that you can talk to me, that your 'secret is safe with me' or whatever the hell you want to call it. I'm not going to make fun of you, or get mad. Well, I probably will, but not seriously. You can trust me, and sometimes I don't think you even trust yourself. "

"It's a lot more complicated than that, I think."

"What? And what do you mean, 'I think'?"

"Me. Thanks for that, but I think I'm just a mess for now. Until soccer's over. Then I'll be normal again."

"No, you won't. You'll still be bottling everything up inside, on top of everything else that's going to happen until school starts. It won't go away. Maddy goes to the same school as us, dumbass."

Ouch. Something stung when he said that. A literal pain in my stomach, as if I was suffering from food poisoning. It wasn't insulting, it was just a fact. A future fact that there was no loophole, no escaping Maddy.

"Sorry bro. Didn't mean it in a bad way."

"I know."

"I really can't stand to see you like this, and Aimee agrees. Hell, half the team agrees."

"I'll be fine." The nauseating ache slowly dissolved away as better memories of Maddy and I floated through my head. Talking in the car. Relaxing behind the bathhouse. The way she blushed, when she played with my hair, the way she looked at me and smiled, not screamed. How we talk.

I heard the car door open abruptly as Mom got in, putting the key into the ignition. "Yeah, so he kicked it from behind the 50 yard line and it was good." Wyatt said, taking his feet off the seat. I did the same.

"Crazy kick."

"Yeah."

The two of us slipped into some football talk, just to keep Mom's suspicions low. We dropped Wyatt off and headed towards our house. I reflected on what he had said. But I was most certainly fine. As soon as this suspension blows over, I'll be better than anyone on the east coast. Bridesdale, here we come.

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AHH. I feel a huge relief lifting off my shoulders. I felt so bad for making the last chapter so short, soo...yeah. hah XD. I hope it wasn't too lame. I stared at the screen for and hour and half, editing the boy's conversation. I really need to work on that :P but again, I cannot contain my excitement! I'm over 4,500 reads! yayyyy! now the votes/comments part...:D. nah. just joking around. And hopefully people like Wyatt better now....I just can't keep him as an antagonist, ya know? I've got better things in store >:D again, thank you all soooooooo much. i'd bake you all cupcakes if I could.

-Allie