Unsteady

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"Dad, I know you're trying to fight when you feel like flying."

I fell asleep on a couch in the study, a pillow held firmly to my chest. I didn't even remember coming in here. The exhaustion and fear just ate away at me.

I heard yelling coming from the other room--that's what woke me up. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up slowly and swinging my legs over the side of the couch. The yelling was one-sided and non-responsive.

"I saved you," I heard. My eyebrows knitted together as I quietly made my way towards the living room.

"You had us playing farmer. I still know how to survive, lucky for us." Carl was standing over Rick's unconscious body, anger etched into every aspect of his face.

"I don't need you anymore." My eyebrows raised. "I don't need you to protect me anymore. I can protect myself. You probably couldn't protect me anyway. You couldn't protect Judith. You couldn't protect Hershel, or Glenn, or Maggie, Michonne, Daryl...or mom."

I fought the urge to barge into the room. He took it too far. Most especially, we didn't know how Rick was doing. He was asleep, yes, but was he okay? He looked like he took a good beating and here was Carl, yelling at him.

"You just wanted to plant vegetables. You just wanted to hide. He knew where we were and you didn't care. You just hid behind those fences and waited for... They're all gone now because of you. They counted on you. You were their leader but..." he trailed off as he sat down, his back against the couch. "But now you're nothing."

I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I stomped into the living room, smacking the back of Carl's head, forcing his hat to fall to the floor. He winced and looked up at me, his eyes fuming.

"What the h--"

"Upstairs. Now," I demanded, my voice strong. Carl pushed himself off the floor, roughly bumping my shoulder as he passed by me. I closed my eyes as my jaw clenched, channeling all my strength to get me to calm down. I glanced at Rick as I exhaled, turning to make my way upstairs.

"What the hell was that?" I nearly shouted as I closed the door to the room Carl occupied. 

"It's the truth," Carl pushed. I've never seen so much anger in his eyes. Not even when he was angry with me after Lori died.

"How do you think you've made it this far, Carl? You wouldn't be half the kid you are today if it weren't for him."

"Because of him, Judith is gone!" he yelled. "Because of him, we lost everyone! All he wanted to do was sit and wait for him to come back."

"After what happened with Woodbury, we didn't know what happened to the Governor. What happened wasn't his fault."

"He was supposed to keep us safe."

"And he did! How long did we last there? How long have we survived in this world because of your father?" 

"How many people have died because of my dad?" Carl countered. 

"Not as many as the people he's kept alive." Carl remained silent, his cheeks a bit rosy from the anger and adrenaline. "Look," I continued, "I know you're upset--"

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