Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic

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"How will you find yourself when your hand to hold is letting go?"

My perception of reality was hazy. I was in and out of consciousness. What felt like a few minutes could have been a few hours. My mouth felt like a desert and I could barely lift my head from my place slumped against a tree. Adam's lifeless body still laid by me.

"I found her!" I heard someone shout, running footsteps following suit. I could barely keep my eyes open to see who it was.

"Shit," someone else muttered.

"Belle, can you hear me?" I was asked. I couldn't even build up the energy to shake my head. "She's severely dehydrated."

I could faintly make out more ruffled steps around me. Whoever found me was pulling my body away to sit up. The rest of my limbs flailed. I couldn't even lift a finger if I tried.

Water was flooded into my mouth, some of it dripping out of the corners and down my chin. I coughed on some that went down the wrong way. The more I drank, the more I felt like I could come back to reality.

Once I was at least partially hydrated, I was able to sit up on my own. I wiped away some of the moisture from my lips before looking up at the small group around me.

Aaron was kneeling at my side holding a water bottle. He's the one who found me. Rick, Carl, and a few other Alexandrians were all standing close by. They all looked scared shitless, to be honest.

"You okay?" Aaron asked me.

I glanced at Adam's body again. I couldn't believe I did that. And for what? Glancing up at Aaron, I shook my head as tears, yet again, welled in my eyes. He pulled me to his chest as I softly cried.

"We need to get her back," he informed the others.

"We don't have a doctor," Rick stated quietly.

"We can take care of her, but right now, we don't have a lot of time to argue."

Aaron hooked one of his arms under my knees, lifting my weak body off the ground. I was light-headed and dizzy on our trek back. I leaned my head against Aaron's shoulder, completely zoning out.

***

After a lot of silence, I was finally rehydrated. I was sat on Rick's couch while everyone else was scattered around the living room. They were all on edge, not knowing who should speak first.

"I'm sorry I left without saying anything," I muttered. This caused a lot of heads to turn my way.

"Why did you go out, Belle?" Aaron asked softly.

"Just needed time to myself. I couldn't be in my house alone. I know what I did was dangerous but..." I trailed off, not even knowing how to finish my thought. "I'm sorry."

"Who was that man?" Rick questioned.

"Remember when we brought in the people from Woodbury?" Rick nodded. "I knew him from there. He was a friend. After the Governor attacked us, I figured he died there. He..." I struggled to say it again. "He became a Savior. He was there that night."

There was a palpable tension in the room as I told this. No one knew what to say to that.

"I don't know why I did that," I continued. "It's like I wasn't even in control of myself."

At my confession, Aaron sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leaned against him, enjoying his gentle comfort.

"Are you feeling any better?" Michonne asked. "Hydration-wise, I mean."

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