Chapter 29 (edited)

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Chapter 29

Loki stood on the table with arms spread wide in triumph. He knew there was no one at the table who could argue with him, he had dirt on each one of them. A lot of the gods were looking to Odin to bring an end to this, but the one-eyed god was sitting with head in hands. Freyr had an arm round his shoulders and was whispering in his ear, Odin was nodding slowly. As Loki continued to stand triumphantly it was Freyja's twin brother who spoke up. He had the same deep green eyes and pale skin. His red hair was cropped short.

"Loki, you are drunk! Your jabs and jibes are insane. Why not leave-off now? No one has control of their tongue when drunk!"

Loki spun round quickly, showering mead over everyone. "Enough Freyr! Are you not a fertility god? Have you ever fertilised a single maiden? Have you ever taken a single maiden to your bed? Well, except for your sister of course!"

"That is a lie!"

Loki spun again, slopping more mead, he addressed the whole table as his foot squashed more fruit. "You all think Freyr is loved and worshipped by all! He is not! The mortals only worship his genitals!"

Loki cackled madly as some of the goddesses gasped in shock. He kicked an orange off the table then went on.

"Have any of you been to Midgard recently? Have you seen the statues the mortals make of him? Every single one is the same! Sitting cross legged with..." Loki raised his hands high above his head in an exaggerated gesture, "an erection that goes higher than his head!"

He whirled back to face Freyr, face full of mockery. More mead splashed over the table. "Talk about over-exaggeration! We all know you have the smallest one here. Well, except for Bragi and his tiny withered twig and berries!"

Loki turned and winked at the old wordsmith. Idun had to place both hands on her husband's shoulders, desperately trying to restrain him as he rose to Loki's baiting.

"It's not worth it!" she whispered in Bragi's ear.

Freyr stood up, face red with anger. Loki faced the god with an amused and inquiring look on his face.

"How dare you utter such filth in this fine hall. Odin invited us here to feast and mourn, not to listen to your vileness!"

"Aw, does the truth hurt?" asked Loki, voice dripping with sarcasm. He unzipped his trousers and leered down at Freyr.

"We all know who has the biggest one here. Shall we compare sizes and prove it?"

"How dare you suggest such a thing!" Freyr roared. "I would not behave in such a vile manner in this fine hall!"

All eyes were on Loki and Freyr. Only two of the gods present noticed that the doors to Valhalla were open and a massive figure slipping in. Odin breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The other god to notice the new arrival was Kvasir, he was extremely old and gaunt looking. He had a receding hairline and a small grey goatee, He watched the newcomer. The god wore a thick bearskin cloak and crossed thick arms across his massive chest as he took in the scene.

Kvasir rose to his feet and spoke in a quiet and thoughtful tone. "Loki, I feel that perhaps it is time you sat down and stopped making such a fool of yourself."

Loki whirled to face his next opponent, kicking over yet more glasses as he did. "Enough Kvasir! You have no more voice here than the whore Freyja or her father. You are nothing more than a hostage so be silent!"

"I may have been a hostage in the beginning but Asgard is now my home and I am proud to live among such fine gods!"

"Be silent Kvasir!" Loki screamed, "you were the wisest of all the Vanir gods, You had a place of high honour among them and now you come here and have to be second-best!"

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