Things unsaid

I dont know

I don't know.
I want to write
I want to draw
I want to hang out with friends
I want to stop being a disappointment
I want to listen to music
I want to graduate
I want to love
I want to be loved
I want to be happy
But...
I don't know.
I have no idea what to write about
What to draw
Who to hang out with
How to stop disappointing people
What music to listen to
Who to love
How to be loved
How to be happy
I'm just...
here.
I don't know. 
My writing sounds whiny and bad
My drawings shaky
Friends shakier
Peoples expectations too high for the fuck up I am
Music all sounds similar
The people I like never like me "like that"
I have no experience loving "the right way"
Never really experienced true happiness
I'm not sure how to change this
I'm not too sure of anything really
Yeah. I know.
Some of these things are stupid.
Trivial.
They're important to me though...
I don't think anyone takes the time to think about that
To think about how I feel
I don't know.
And yes.
"It's okay to not know right now"
I'd like to though
I want to be able to say I've gotten my shit together.
I don't know how to though...