"Foxglove!"
"What?"
"Today's flower is foxglove and I didn't know how to incorporate it in so I thought I should just get it over with."
"That's an interesting assessment..."
"I don't know why your laughing, it makes perfect sense. Unless today you want to be called foxglove—"
"Please don't. Don't call me foxglove, it sounds...weird..."
"You know I just realized that foxglove has the word love in it."
"It also has the word fox and glove and oxg in it."
"Oh that's funny, my mother's name is Oxg."
"And my mother's name is Alecisanidiot."
"Wow, what a beautiful name."
"Yeah, it's a family name. Passed down through generations."
"Interesting, interesting..."
"So how's your day going?"
"Good, but it's better now."
"Ew."
"Oh how I missed this."
"I missed this too."
"I—really?"
"Well duh, that's why I called you so many times. I missed talking to you..."
"Aww, you missed me."
"Well...step four, always keep those you care about the most...close. Even if they're tremendously annoying and sometimes completely ignore you..."
"That's me! You're talking about me! You care about me the most!"
"Ok, you're ruining the moment."
"You say that but you know the moment is perfectly intact and our heart to heart is forever lasting."
"Annnnd it's ruined. Blech."
"You're not fooling anyone."
"I'm not—ugh never mind. I have to be right back."
"What? Why."
"Because I—"
"What? Spit it out?"
"I have to pee and I don't want to stay on the phone with you."
"Why not?"
"Why not? Because then you'll hear me peeing and that's weird!"
"Why is that weird? I do it all the time?"
"Have you been on the phone with me while you're peeing or on the toilet?"
"Yeah, a bunch of times."
"Alec! Ew! That's so gross!"
"It's just Mother Nature baby!"
"No. No. Bye."
....................................
"Good thing I didn't tell her I'm on the toilet right now. That really would've fired her up."
YOU ARE READING
The Number On The Napkin
Short Story"Is your refrigerator running?" "No, my refrigerator is not running." "Well you better...wait, what?" "Actually, it broke down a week ago because it knew that you were going to call with that stupid line and it decided it would rather die than liste...
