"Hey hows your day going?"
"Pretty good, work is slow today and the doors are wide open letting all the heat in and my station is directly adjacent to the door so I'm dying."
"Uh...so move...?"
"Well you see my boss is very particular about our places at our stations and does not want us to move what- so-ever. But, I have a plan."
"Oh really?"
What I'm doing is every 20 minutes I'm moving an inch to the right towards the air conditioner. I'm hoping that I'll execute my plan so perfectly that my boss won't even notice that I've moved at all."
"Wow, you really thought this through huh?"
"I told you, slow day. I also wrote caramelized cricket muffins and ostrich milk latte on the chalkboard menu, no one has noticed."
"Now your pranking people, who are you? You've become so malicious."
"I know, it seems like you've really rubbed off on me."
"Well, since you called Lavender, I have something to tell you."
"What?"
"Spontaneity."
"Oh no."
"Oh yes.
"Alec, I'm at work! I can't do—"
"Oh yes you can! And you will!"
"Alec."
"Lavender. Ok, so here's what you have to do, put me on speaker phone when the next customer comes because you are going to talk to them in a British accent. Great right?!"
"No! Not great! Alec that is not being spontaneous that is just trying to embarrass me!"
"Yeah maybe. But so what? Don't be Kevin Bacon from the town footloose."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Footloose, the town where Kevin Bacon is boring and can't or like doesn't know how to have any fun or something?"
"It's a town where dancing and music is illegal...and the town isn't called footloose, that's just the title of the movie. And Kevin Bacon was the character that came into the town and got all of Bomont to dance again."
"Oh. I need to watch that movie again, I did not get it."
"How did you not get it? It's literally the most self-explanatory —"
"Hey! That's beside the point! You are doing this and if you don't then I'll—"
"Shh. Stop talking."
"Wha—"
"Shh."
"Oh."
"Hello, what can I get you today?"
"Oh wow, what a lovely accent. Are you from England?"
"Thank you. Yes actually, that's where I was born."
"Wonderful! I have a ton of family in England! Where are you from?"
"Mmm..."
"Wow, really? I'm from Worcestershire actually."
"Really! My family is from Cheltenham!"
"Oh wow. That's nearby...?"
"Yeah! Practically neighbors!"
"Yes. Yup. Right! That's what I thought!"
"And of course I was raised here so I don't have your accent but just what a funny coincidence!"
"Mhm."
"Yeah, really just so...funny! Of all the people to walk in here you are the one I get to talk to and you just so happen to have family from Cheltenham!"
"Pffft."
"Right? What a small word! So anyways, I will have an iced coffee with almond milk and two pumps of vanilla syrup."
"Alright, that will be right out for you. Cheers."
"Oh, well cheers to you too!"
"Did you get that Cassandra?"
"Yep. I'm right on it."
"Alec, that was so stupid."
"Oh my god that was awesome! That was so funny! I was trying so hard to contain my laughter! Man that was hard! And when she said she had family in England! Oh my g—"
"That had to have been the stupidest thing I have ever done. Just. So. Stupid."
"But your accent was so good! Even I was convinced!"
"So stupid."
"But hey, no harm no foul right?"
"Oh there will be harm. Harm done to you. Just you wait."
"Ew, creepy."
"Daisy! What did you do to the chalkboard? I know it was you!"
"Gotta go."
"But call me back because I have something I want to—"
"Ok."
....................................
"Talk about."
YOU ARE READING
The Number On The Napkin
Short Story"Is your refrigerator running?" "No, my refrigerator is not running." "Well you better...wait, what?" "Actually, it broke down a week ago because it knew that you were going to call with that stupid line and it decided it would rather die than liste...
