Ghosts Shouldn't Be This Annoying

The New Guy Is a Dick

2. The New Guy Is a Dick

You cannot fuckin' believe this. Some asshole waltzes in and collapses on YOUR bed in YOUR room, just like he goddamn owns the place- oh wait, you guess he and his family own the place now. You sigh and sit on the floor, head in hand, as he closes his eyes, but there's still anger coursing through you. Everything about him pisses you off completely, from his two-toned glasses to his mismatched shoes. You growl and stand back up, then go into the bathroom to try to calm down. You always do bad things when you get out of control, and now could be one of those times- no, stop.

You need to calm the fuck down. You sigh and punch the wall; punching things always makes you feel better, since you can't try to meditate or breathe in counts. You can't really remember what it's like to breathe. You punch the wall again for good measure, just because the new guy can't tell what you punch and oh look at that you knocked your old bottles of hair gel over. You don't have any particular need of them now, seeing as most of your hair flops in your face anyway.

Then the door slams open and you jump, turning to see a furious boy. You watch carefully as the angry expression on his face slowly morphs to confused, then curiosity. He looks around and locates the bottles, looking disgusted before throwing them in the trash.

You, furious, yell, "Wwhat the fuck, those wwere prime fuckin' bottles a hair gel an you just threww them awway!"

He can't hear you, of course; that doesn't make you any less mad, though. He whirls around anyway, as if he did hear you and you shrink away, worried. Then he realizes nobody's there (but you) and rolls his eyes, leaving. You follow him, watching him as he gets back into bed and falls asleep. You settle on the floor again and lie down; you can't really remember what it feels like to sleep either.

A while later, your staring match with the ceiling is broken as another boy runs into the room, yelling a name… "Thollux?" You think it might really be "Sollux", but you have no idea. You note that the two boys look a lot alike, although the one that ran in, who Sollux seems to call "Tuna" (which is a weird-ass name) has more hair, and is a lot louder. They both have the eyes, though, and you think those are lisps? That's adorable.

You listen to "Tuna"'s story about finding a cigarette in his room and it disappearing- oh hell no. Hell motherfucking no. You growl; this only has one explanation.

Cronus.

You storm out of the room, down the hall to what used to be your older brother's room and burst in, seething. There he is, the asshole, holding an unlit cigarette in his mouth and combing his hair. "Hey, chief. Vwhat's up?" he asks in that lazy tone of his. Fuck, it makes you angry.

"Wwhat's up is you nearly got caught by the kid in your room," you growl, glaring at him.

"I didn't do no harm by it."

"He saww your fuckin' cigarette, Cro!"

"So? He ain't gonna suspect nothin'."

"He already told the asshole livvin' in my room!"

"I dont see vwhy vwe can't just showv ourselvwes to them in the first place!"

"'Cause they'd freak out and probably tell stories to the wwhole town!"

"Bullshit, they'd just leavwe an' flee the towvn or somethin' stupid!"

You're about to fire off a retort when Sollux and Tuna walk in, Tuna showing Sollux the exact place where he found the cigarette, which happens to be right where you're standing, next to the chair Cronus is sitting on. You jump out of the way and watch as Sollux shrugs off Tuna's claims as bullshit, then they leave. Fuck, Sollux is kinda cute- nope, stop that. You're dead, you're not allowed to have crushes on the living, you learned that after- not going there either.

You sigh and yank Cronus out of his chair, leading him downstairs to where your father waits. Orpheus "Dualscar" Ampora, head of the Ampora family and owner of a massive fortune. Part of that fortune got them this mansion, while the rest was to go to Cronus Ampora and Eridan Ampora, both heirs of the Ampora fortune. They were to go on to become wealthy businessmen, but that was all ruined when all 3 died.

After they died, the money was given away, mostly to charities and certain businesses.

You shake all of this out of your head, most of the info from magazines and tabloids. Your father nods to you both and you all walk into the dining room, where the new family is eating dinner. You lick your lips; oh, what it would be to eat again and feel full.

You ignore these thoughts and sit down then turn to your father, sitting at the opposite head of the table of Sollux and Tuna's father.

"Well, here we are, a new family moved into our house," your father starts, but you cut him off with, "Wwe don't need the lecture, wwe knoww not to mess wwith them or fuck anythin' up."

"I was talking," he looks at you coldly, and you remember he wasn't nicknamed "Dualscar" for nothing. Those two scars on his face make him downright menacing. "As I was saying, a new family has moved into our house. We are not to bother them, for obvious reasons. I've already heard about your cigarette incident, Cronus; make sure it does not happen again."

"Yes, sir," Cronus mumbles, looking down sheepishly.

"Good. You're not off the hook either, Eridan. I heard those bangs coming from the younger boy's bathroom."

"He threww my hair gel bottles awway!"

"You don't need them, do you?"

You sigh. "… No, sir."

"Good. I believe I made myself clear; you two are excused, as the new family- the Captors, they're called- are finished with dinner."

"Yes, father." "Yes, sir."

You abscond as quickly as you can after that, which, because of being a ghost, is pretty damn fast. You find Sollux in your- fuck, his room, changing into different clothes, and you blush and turn away because just because you're a ghost doesn't mean you're going to creep on every piece of hot ass in the town, fuck.

You turn back around when you see something light up- his laptop? What is he doing on his laptop? You peer over his shoulder to see a bunch of numbers you couldn't even begin to understand and sit on his desk instead, swinging your legs and watching him type.

You look at his face, the way he hunches over- that's terrible posture, you note as you sit up a bit straighter-, the way his fingers move fast as he types, as if he's done this a million times- wow he must be really good with those fingers-, the way his eyes go all squinty behind his glasses- wait a second. You do a double-take, then scoot closer and take a second look at his glasses.

They're fuckin' brown and blue.

One is brown and the other is blue.

Wow.

'That's why he wears 3-D glasses; what a douche' is your first thought. Then you think, 'Maybe he's self-conscious about it.' Now you feel like a douche. You sigh and go back to watching him, definitely not being a creeper. You end up watching him for hours, entranced in the way he concentrates so fully on this one thing.

It ends up being 1 in the morning when you finally snap out of it, realizing how late it is and noticing that Sollux is still… doing whatever the fuck it is he's doing on his laptop. He probably needs to sleep. How to snap him out of it without him noticing you… you sneak over to the bathroom, though why you're sneaking you don't know you're a fucking ghost he can't see you.

You go up to a wall, summon energy, and bang really hard on the wall. There's a few seconds of silence, then the door creaks open and he looks in, suspicious. Then he leaves and you follow him as he shuts down his laptop, then gets into his bed.

You sit against the wall and watch him, wishing you knew what it was like to be able to sleep again.